Three Easy Ways to Control Your Anger

Do you think you have some sort of anger problem? Nearly every day on TV you see angry people usually a married couple arguing over their relationship, as they are washing the dishes. They nearly always end up shattering the dishes all over the kitchen.

After that you will get their absolutely angry teenage kid come down from his bedroom and start shrieking at his parent, "I really hate you stupid people!" while at the same time jumping up and down on his cell phone thus smashing it to bits. The only reason the teenager considers it fine to shriek and do away with his cell phone is because he observes his parents put-on the same act day after day. After the teenager has had his go the toddler goes into hysterics and starts jumping up and down on his toys. And the reason the toddler is so angry is because everybody else in the house is constantly shrieking and throwing all kinds of things about.

But here I am talking about TV soaps where the anger is made up and does not cause any damage like real life anger can.

I should think that almost everyone has felt anger at some point in their life. Anger is after all an emotion that is needed, but it is vital to keep a check on this powerful and sometimes destructive emotion so that it cannot take control and cause mayhem.

As you know when you become angry you frequently behave illogically and this can be very destructive for you and the people around you. Anger control is then extremely essential and there are three easy ways which you can apply to assist you to control your anger.

The first way for you to control your anger is to stop and think about what you are doing then take a deep breath letting your diaphragm really expand then count to ten as you slowly let the breath out.

This is one of the most effectual and straightforward methods of anger control and it actually works. When you breathe deeply from your diaphragm you are practicing a well-known relaxation method that will relax the tension in your muscles. And by counting to ten you are dissociating yourself from the situation and your reaction to it, and giving yourself time to calm down and think more reasonably about the circumstances.

The second Way for you to control your anger is to do something physical, like going for a brisk walk, or going to the gym. Do anything as long as it is vigorous so that you can use up your pent-up frustration thus leaving you feeling calmer.

The third way to control your anger is to reconstruct your sentences to 'I' statements instead of 'you' statements. So as an alternative of accusing people with 'you didn't do this,' say something like, "I was annoyed because I wanted some assistance." This will hopefully start-up a line of communication because communication is vital in order to stop mix-ups. Also communication will let everyone know just what is annoying and why the anger is there in the first place. By using these straightforward steps you can make your life and others a lot more harmonious and pleasant. Good Luck!

Dion Daly is a certified trainer in hypnosis, a master practitioner in NLP and TLT. He also has a degree in metaphysics.

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Original article

The Foolishness of Anger

I don't know any person who will appreciate being labelled a fool, even in their most horrible or senseless mistakes and decisions. Often we wish people would understand and not be too hard on us when our actions and behavior are questionable. We could find ourselves in a very destructive and injurious behavior to others but not regard that as foolishness. Consider it this way, as much as we hate to admit, a person with anger tantrum lends himself or herself to foolishness. My involvement in the ministry and the lives of people since the seventies had brought me face to face with terrible anger.

This article seeks to address the foolishness of anger, especially among christians, the causes of anger, the effects of anger and the solutions to this debilitating emotion. There are about 234 (two hundred and thirty-four) mention of anger in the Holy Bible. Anger is one of the strongest of all passions, therefore requires a heavy dose of God's grace to tame its destructiveness. It's a human wrath express through force and indiscretion. Anger victims are always left with wounds, scars,, hurts, pains and regrets. This is the most agitated condition of feeling, an outburst of wrath from inward indignation. If we can't control this emotion, it will become our master. That is not the place you want to be. Going forward, it's appropriate we examine probable causes of anger. This varies depending upon how we're wired, on cultural biases that had been passed down, and circumstances that confront us. There are myriad of factors and causes that can contribute to this emotion, we'll look at some below.

Probable causes of Anger:

* Ill-treatment
* Offenses
* Discrimination
* Rejection
* Jealousy
* Hatred
* Repugnant behavior and habits

As I alluded to earlier, in many years of counseling and human interactions, I've watched lives, homes, friendships, marriages and churches brought down by the above mentioned causes. I've sat in total silence and amazement watching couples who came for counseling ripped each other apart with words and rage unbecoming of marriage couples.

I've been called into homes whereby on arrival looked like a tornado went through the house. You wouldn't believe the destruction caused by anger between two adults who expressed love and care to each other. The effect of anger when let out without control can be fatal. Years ago I was caught right in between a husband and wife who were so furious with each other that any furniture around became a weapon. I had to duck my head to avoid sustaining a major injury from the flying objects. Truly it's foolishness to be taken over by the spirit of anger. Almost every human person has this tendency for whatever reason, but there are those who have become servants to this emotion.

Have you ever experienced anger that led you to regrettable actions afterwards? What could have triggered that?, how did you picked up the pieces and licked the wounds to move on? There are things that we rather not discuss and in many cases, it's not always the right solution. It's better sometimes to let the air out before the boiling point.

Do these things and you'll safeguard yourself from the spirit of anger:

a) Avoid contentious and agitative situations, It's written, " A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger" (Proverbs15:1) KJV.

b) Don't store up wrongs and offenses.

c) Seek the path of peace, forgiveness and reconciliation as quickly as possible.

d)Practice the act of turning to God in prayer when under pressure and displeasure.

e) Learn to walk away without feeling defeated.

Take this scripture to heart and meditate upon it, "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools" (Ecclessiastes 7:9). Anger can only find a resting place in the hearts of those who are without proper understanding. We must seek wisdom and understanding more particularly to avert the venom of anger in our lives. Remember, when you lose control over your spirit, you've lost your defence.

By the power of the Spirit of Christ and his abundant grace we're able to live above this emotion, never to be fearful anymore. His grace is sufficient to us in this area also.

Dr.Ephraim John Udofia is the founder and Presiding Bishop of Living Faith Apostolic Ministries. International Mission-intensive ministry, both in foreign and home missions with currently over six churches in three countries. Dr.Udofia is the author of over seven life-changing books. He's passionately involved in church planting, crusades, conferences and ministers' training since the seventies. Dr.Udofia holds a Bsc. in Management, minor in accounting, an MBA, and Doctorate in Ministry (Dmin) with major in Missions. He is a former Ceo of Precious Jewels Inc. for 19 years. Also a former banker and security representative holding both State and Federal licences. A financial counselor, motivational speaker, mentor, marriage counsellor and an outstanding dedicated family man. He is happily married with five grown children.

To buy one of Dr Ephraim's inspiring Christian Books, or Money Management Books visit the link ---> Life Christian Books

Original article

Anger Management Classes Teach What Most Of Us Need Badly, More Empathy!

Anger management classes help students develop a number of steps to finding the proper techniques and strategies to counter their anger problems. Many people want to know what those skills and strategies are without having to take the classes. They want a small example of what they might learn and how it would affect their life.

To satisfy that hunger for information, here is a small idea of what you can expect to learn. One of the most important aspects is that anger management classes teach empathy, among many others skills necessary for effective anger management.

How to Recognize Triggers
This is one of the vital tools that anger management classes can teach. Knowing what triggers anger is vital. Once that it is known, the student can learn how to get around those triggers and how to deal with them if the worst happens.

Triggers can be as specific as insults about their mom to being walked away from. Once the specific triggers are determined, they can be countered. Being able to recognize the stress those triggers cause, and learning the right strategies to effectively calm down are some of the best counters.

Developing Empathy
The first step is to sympathize with the other person. Being able to understand how your anger is affecting them is crucial. When the student can use that to reach a true level of empathy is when the classes have peaked.

This is when the student actually rethinks their actions because they care about the outcome for the source of their anger. Online anger management is great for teaching empathy to those who have chronic anger problems. Don't let anger, or fear, stop you from bettering yourself in just a few quick sessions.

Responding to Anger
One of the real secrets of mastering anger is to respond to anger. What does that mean? That means you shouldn't react to anger, but respond to it. Those two words can lead to two completely different outcomes. Some people kick into a natural reflex when they get angry.

The empathy that anger management classes can instill will help the student calm their mind and start thinking rationally about the situation. By responding to anger, the student will be able to communicate how they truly feel and understand how the other person feels.

Back Off and Rethink
It actually takes more empathy than it is given credit for, when backing away from an angered discussion. It's a great sign that the empathy that was learned throughout the classes is taking effect. It will give both of you time to rethink your perspective and accept of some the circumstances that were present. This will give the student time to empathize even more with the opposing party, and if necessary, compromise. When we think of a common category of people that lack empathy, the first thing that comes to mind are thieves.

It's clear that anger management classes teach empathy and that it's crucial for the successful students taking anger management classes. The empathy the student can learn will affect every aspect of their course and will start to have an immediately positive affect on their life. Empathy is a skill that can be learned by taking anger classes online.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Do I Have To Manage My Anger?

After taking up coaching and practicing compassion for humanity, the anger in me has subsided. Friends commented that I'm lighter without the frown between my eyebrows. They noticed that I enjoy life more now, and I'm more relaxed. Life has been more of flowing now.

Going with the flow does not means that I don't care about what comes, it means I'm looking at it with less judgements and expectations. And I'm taking more responsibility on my life and the outcome.

For someone who has anger issues, there are several causes to it. Probably there are more than one cause. Most likely it's built up over the years.

We built the anger over many years. This comes from past incidents that didn't get resolved. These incidents stayed in us, creating some form of triggers. So whenever similar incidents happen, you get triggered.

These past incidents actually create expectations and judgements. So when expectations are not met, our anger will be triggered. Then we started to form judgements about people or incidents. That is going to create more anger and form more judgements. This becomes a cycle where anger starts to manifest itself from the judgements. It'll come to a point where every little thing trigger you. Did you ever met someone who has comment on anything he/she sees? The red hair lady, the sunglasses boy, the tattooed man etc.

To manage the anger, I started with being aware of the anger. Aware that when I'm angry and how come I'm angry. The feeling is like looking from a third party view, observing me being angry.

When I come from this angle, the anger actually subside. From this angle, I realized it's just a small matter. And most of the time, I realized it was my issue. There is nothing right or wrong with the person or incident. I got angry because of my own stuff, expectation, judgements etc.

I asked myself, "Without these expectations and judgements, will I still be angry?" ABSOLUTELY NO! So there's nothing to be angry about.

I can get triggered by a slow person. The expectation is for the person to be faster. But really fast and slow is subjective. How fast is fast, how slow is slow? I realized I had an interpretation of speed. The moment I see this, slow doesn't trigger me as often. Even if I'm triggered, it subsides very fast. I control and release this anger almost immediately.

The other thing is practicing acceptance. I start to accept the differences and the imperfection of another person. This is a huge realization to me. It creates huge transformation in me. Acceptance comes from compassion. It's the beginning of having compassion for others. To have compassion for others, I begin with having compassion to myself.

With compassion alone, it dissolves so much anger in me. I do not have to go any anger management course, boxing or any kind of similar program for my anger. I swim a lot now, and sing whenever I love it.

I'm aware that the anger is still there, but I'm very conscious when it came, and where it is, so that I don't hold it for long. That's my way to a happier life.

Lee Joe is a coach, trainer and speaker in the area of motivating behaviour, He has been training since 2003, inspired more than 10,000 lives so far. He trains in the modules like team development, presentation skills and mindset transformation.

His one-to-one coaching has deliver great results for his clients, supporting them in achieving their desired outcome. He helps clients to discover an accelerated way of achieving results. In that process, he gets the clients to see who they are, how they can be happy in life. Visit http://www.coachingwithjoe.com/ to learn how his clients benefitted from his coaching.

Original article

How to Start Managing Your Anger

Do you have problems controlling or managing your anger? It is best to know that you are not alone in this. There are many people who look to anger management courses to help them with this. Of course starting to manage your anger is always the hardest part but there are certain steps you can take to get you started.

Finding an anger management course

The first step to managing your anger is to find an anger management course. These courses are run by a number of institutes or charities. There are a few ways to learn more about the courses available in your area. One way is to search for courses online. You can also go to charities that deal with this problem and ask them about their approach. When you are looking at courses it is important that you find out what they are going to offer you and how this can help.

How anger management courses can help you

Many people ask how anger management courses can actually help. There are a number of ways that people are helped by these courses. The first step that many courses include is finding triggers for your anger. Once a trigger is found you will be able to manage your reaction or to even avoid the situation all together. Constructive ways to release your anger is another way that these courses will help you. Each person is different and as such the counsellors running the courses will help you find a release method that suits you. Some people release tension and anger through playing a sport while others help out in the community or perform arts. Relaxation exercises will also be explained during the course. This is important as they help you stay calm when you are unable to get out of a situation that would normally make you angry.

What anger management counselling does?

Part of anger management courses will be anger management counselling. Counselling can help you manage your anger by helping you come to terms with your problem. It is generally during the counselling that triggers are identified and release methods are figured out. It is best that the counselling is done by a trained professional. When you are looking at the different courses you should verify the qualifications of the people doing the counselling. It is best to know that counselling can take on two forms. One way this is done is through one-on-one sessions where it is only you and the counsellor. Group counselling is another form. The form you go for will be determined by the counsellor depending on your circumstances.

Anger management is something that a lot of people look into these days. How to start managing your anger is usually the first stumbling block for many. Courses are a good way to find out how to convert your anger into something constructive and to find what makes you angry so you can avoid these situations. Let's see how you can cope with your anger now!

This article was submitted by Simona Rusnakova, SEO consultant of 3R, on behalf of AccessCounselling.ie - Counselling Dublin - who provide affordable and highly successful counselling in Dublin.

Original article

Anger Management - Understanding How Individual Psychotherapy Can Help You

Most people experience anger, an important human emotion, at particular times and in varied situations. Generally, it is a commonly experienced emotion and does not create problems for the individual when he or she is trying to relate to others. The individual controls the expression of emotions such as anger, rage and even irritation. However, most people do not realize that they are able to control their anger, and do not know that they can learn to develop better ways to express anger rather than behaving in a manner that hurts their relations with others.

Many times people need help to learn better techniques to manage their anger. Often they will seek the help of an individual psychotherapist. In my experience, people ask several common questions about using an individual psychotherapist for anger management. I hope that the answers to these questions will allow to you make better use of your anger management psychotherapy session, and to improve your understanding of the psychotherapeutic approach to anger management.

Why use an individual psychotherapist in the first place?

A trained professional individual psychotherapist helps people to develop better strategies to control the expression of angry emotions. The result is that people learn better management and more appropriate expression of these emotions. An individual psychotherapist provides an unbiased and emotionally supportive environment in which to learn these anger management techniques. Family members and friends are often emotionally involved which complicates effective treatment of anger management problems, and they do not have the training to understand the psychology of anger management problems.

What is the first step in learning anger management techniques with an individual psychotherapist?

My first approach when working with a person who has anger management problems is to first give them an opportunity to tell then why they are angry. Once they have related the details of the situation that generates the angry feelings, I then give them validation that the situation is a legitimate reason to feel angry.

Why do I feel so angry and out of control in certain situations?

I can help people realize that they are not just angry about the specific present situation. Often, a situation in the present can bring up repressed angry feelings in the past that lie in the subconscious mind. These feelings are generated in response to unrelated frustrations and disappointments that occurred earlier in life, and rise to the surface when people encounter a new situation that makes them angry. I help people understand that these past feelings contribute to their present angry emotions.

How does what I tell myself internally affect how I manage my anger?

The next goal in my psychotherapeutic approach is to show the person that there is internal self-talk arising from the situation that is generating the angry feelings. For example, someone may say to him or herself "I can't believe these people are treating me so badly!" I then can teach that person to replace that limiting negative thought with a more positive message such as "because this individual has treated me unfairly, that does not mean I have to tell myself I am a bad person."

How should I view people who treat me badly?

My approach allows people to understand that they have control over how they feel about themselves despite being treated badly by another person. I can help people understand that because a significant person in their lives, may, at times, treat them in an insensitive manner which feels hurtful, that does not indicate that person is not a good person.

My goal is to help people realize that improved anger management helps them withstand the frustrations of life, and not sabotage what works positively for them. In my San Francisco psychotherapy practice, I can treat people with anger management problems by providing an emotionally supportive and unbiased environment for them to learn specific techniques to manage their anger.

Patricia H. Hecht, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over twenty years of experience treating individuals, families, and couples, she provides unbiased help and support to overcome anger management problems. To learn more about her and schedule an appointment, visit the website for her San Francisco Psychotherapy practice.

Copyright Patricia H. Hecht, MFT - All rights reserved.

Original article

Anger Management - In The Light Of Peaceful Living

Anger issues may come to surface when you are not paying attention. It seems it is an emotion that may afflict any of us, at any time.

Actually, it is one of those emotions that may consume your life. Especially, if you let it manifest into physical ailments.

So, how do you deal with such a thing? Is there a way to be free of it altogether? What do you do when you become angry? Do you violently strike out at others, physically, verbally or simply keep it within?

In the world of psychology and religion, they may offer various means of coping with such an emotion. To cope, to tolerate is not freedom. So, you must inquire if there is a way to be completely free of such a debilitating emotion that takes hold of you.

What is anger? Anger may come in various forms but at the root of it, there is thought. If you observe your mental state, watch it, and not suppress it, you will see it come into being. It comes when something does not go the way you want it too. So, you resist.

What would happen if you did not resist emotion? Simply, observe it come into being, live, and wither away. Can you do that? Can you watch a mental phenomenon come into being without the slightest desire of changing it?

Psychologically, all issues must be faced head on without the slightest intent of looking away. Simply, observe every aspect of your mind and heart. Every thought and every emotion has to be brought to the surface so you may face it, completely.

Realize when you are angry, it means you are disappointed and you are living in an idea. In such thinking, you feel things are not happening how you wanted them too.

At the very heart of it, there is the feeling of being powerless. So, you become frustrated and disappointed without realizing such emotions become hindrances to the joy of living.

So, from the moment you arise in the morning you observe and listen to everything about yourself until you retire to bed at night. In the totality of this seeing, you understand yourself as long as there is perception without censorship.

To understand what you are, you discover all thoughts and emotions belong to the mind as self. This self, is made of thoughts.

So, when you are free, and the mind is quiet and perfectly still; where is this self? Where is this anger? What is the entity that is full of anger?

In the totality of seeing and understanding all this, we discover there is nothing. The mind as self is but an illusion born of a lack of attention.

In the psychological death of the mind as anger, there is freedom. Perhaps, then you will discover this peace beyond all understanding. This eternal peace comes in all its glory when you least expect it. Will you awaken to this peaceful living?

To receive additional FREE insights by spiritual teacher, Adonis Alexander, to change your life, go to his website: http://www.adonisalexander.org/

Or, you may purchase his spiritual book, Secret Sayings Of Adonis

Original article

When Someone Else Gets Angry At You, Do Not Take It Personally

Make no mistake about it, we have all had someone get angry at us and we wondered, what in the world is going on. Unfortunately at the time we did not understand someone else directing their anger at us had nothing to do with us.

What do you mean by the statement, the person directing their anger at us had nothing to do with us? What a good question and I will explain what I mean by the person directing their anger at you has nothing to do with you.

Keep in mind that whenever you get angry it is the result of the inability to manage the change and or misunderstanding of a condition that is before you, likewise for someone that gets angry with you. Case in point, I recently received a couple of emails from two colleagues and one of them made a suggestion about incorporating a change to their committee to assist our organization during meetings.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with making the suggestions and it was simply a matter of vetting it through other members of the organization. Unfortunately another member of our organization took exception to the recommendation and wrote a response e-mail attacking the individual that made the suggestion.

In the end, the individual that made the recommendation stated to their colleagues that they do not like each other and there is no sense in pretending and in the future, they will attend the meetings but will not have anything to say to the other person. Be mindful I am writing about two adults who happen to be parents of elementary school children.

Let us revisit my earlier statement about when someone gets angry at you do not take it personal. The fact of the matter is, just because a person makes a recommendation in their efforts to improve a situation, does not merit someone blatantly criticizing them and getting angry.

Some people reading this article will understand the individual that criticized the individual that made a recommendation has an ax to grind with their colleague. After reading the comments made by both individuals, I came to the conclusion that I needed to understand why something so simple escalated to a level of requesting to meet someone to discuss it in person with overtones of having a physical confrontation.

The individual that blatantly disrespected their colleagues recommendation had confrontations with other members of our organization and obviously has some personal issues that are more than at the surface level. I received a call from the individual who directed her anger at the recommending colleague and initially she stated she was sorry for getting to the level of wanting a face to face meeting with the other individual.

The next day, I contacted my colleague who made the recommendation to get her position on what happened. She stated anytime she recommends something it is never considered and our colleague is always trying to control things within the organization. I do not agree with her opinion, however we are all entitled to express it, but can agree to disagree.

After reading this article on anger management, it is my hope that you provide a comment to provide your assessment because what you are about to read will blow your mind. After talking to both individuals about what happened they blamed me for the e-mail argument. Let me repeat what I wrote once again, both parties to the e-mail rants blamed me for it.

First of all, I did not take their accusations personal because it had nothing to do with me. You see, toxic people are all around us and it takes a situation like the one I explained above to put it in its proper perspective. Why? I did not know what either individuals had written to one another, in fact had I not received a phone call from the colleague that wanted the face to face meeting I would not have known about the issue.

The bottom line is two adults disagreed about a recommendation that should have been given more consideration and vetted through other members of our organization. Instead one member of the organization who has a track record for creating confrontation chose to escalate the situation and take a personal shot at a colleague and was disingenuous when apologizing about meeting their colleague to possibly have a physical altercation.

In the end two adult individuals blamed me for their inability to compromise, agree to disagree and willingness to have respect for one another. I lead the organization, however we are all volunteers and as many of you know, it is about the greater good, accomplishing the mission we were all voted to do and not engage in petty slights, digs, and disrespect of a colleague.

In my leadership role, I recommended both individuals meet with me, however they both refuse to do so. What does this tell you? What it tells you is both colleagues understand in hindsight that they were wrong, but are not willing to admit it and they also know just how petty this entire situation really is.

My recommendation is for both parties attend an anger management program. Toxic people are the last to know how volatile they really are.

As stated before, provide your comment and let me know if you have ever been a party to something I just described. Adults must be more respectful of themselves, it opens the door for them respectful to others.

Paul Lawrence Vann is an inspirational speaker, author and certified professional coach. He leads Wealth Building Academy, LLC a professional speaking business with diverse clients; Fortune 500 companies, associations, government agencies, nonprofits, military and government agencies.

From Paul Lawrence Vann - committed to you being inspired, motivated and empowered.

Original article

El Dorado - The Golden City of Emotion

I've had this one scene from a movie playing through my mind all day. It comes from 'The Road to El Dorado'. The scene is where the two main characters are talking and the one looks at the other and says "You know that little voice that tells you to stop while you're ahead? You don't have one."

We all have that little voice in our minds. Sometimes it's so quiet that we don't hear it. I'm not talking about the negativity voice that I've referenced in other articles. This is more the warning voice, that little voice that tells you to stop yelling at your children, to not say what's going through your mind to your spouse, to generally not let you temper get the better of you.

Think for a moment about someone who yelled at you. Generally it doesn't matter what they're saying or if their even right, the more they yell the more you become entrenched in your own defense. It doesn't matter if you might even agree with them, most people will shut down or yell back. Neither option helps the situation in any way.

Let's go back to El Dorado for a moment. For those not familiar with what El Dorado is, it was a mythical city made entirely of gold. Even the poorest man built his home of gold.

Each of us has the ability to do that. I'm not talking literally, but the emotions that swell within us affect our actions. You can choose to yell and bring blackness to the world, or spread joy to everyone, painting everything gold.

Happiness is a choice, just as anger is a choice. The things within our lives have created triggers that automatically make us feel angry or happy. We associate these feelings with memories and because of those memories we act a certain way. Changing your emotions only takes a few steps.

1. You have to RECOGNIZE the trigger - When you feel angry and upset stop and remove yourself from the situation. Take a look at what made you feel that way. Once you Recognize what is going on within your own thoughts and emotions and what those triggers are you can start to change.

2. Choose to feel something else - This can be as simple as thinking of a favorite song (as long as it brings happy emotions) or fixing a happy memory within your mind.

3. Practice - Like everything mastery of this skill takes practice. Michael Jordan didn't become a star the first time he picked up a ball.

Like the citizens of El Dorado you can live your life surrounded by gold - golden memories, golden feelings, golden moments. The decision is up to you.

Life isn't easy. But as you improve yourself things will fall into place. For the tips and steps you need to set you on the right path go to http://www.topselfhelpsecrets.com/

Original article

Anger Management Issues: Some Ideas on How to Cope

People that get angry with the smallest aggravation, or in many instances for no reason whatsoever, might very well have problems dealing with anger management. Most often they erupt suddenly as their emotions start becoming out of control. You'll find various reasons that this occurs and quite often it's stress related.

The more serious cases will involve aggressive behavior or physical violence. For others it's just an angry outburst or shouting. Oftentimes the outburst of rage will escalate as the individual starts resorting to throwing things and physically attacking others. The episodes usually will have highly negative effects on others involved. Quite frequently it results in losing friendships, work related dismissals or even extreme violence in the home.

Stress is recognized as one of the more leading reasons for the condition. Many people are holding these angry feelings in and this will lead to increased anxieties. When this problem doesn't get addressed the person could eventually suffer a violent encounter or nervous breakdown. Whenever the feelings begin to build up it's critical that the individual gets help from professionals as soon as possible.

For many people this could go on for several months, or in some cases years, before finally surfacing. However, the more it continues, the worse the results will potentially be. Additionally, from not getting help it becomes difficult to fully eliminate the core of the problem.

For others the symptoms will not be as serious. Many will become frustrated or annoyed easily over simple situations but will not reflect these feelings with extreme violence. They tend to be more passive with a tendency to only complain often, and their feelings are expressed with words only.

Personal relationships also can play major roles regarding anger issues. When a relationship becomes bad it could lead to increased tension and stress. Quite frequently whenever this occurs, couples start becoming aggravated at each other, and often it will escalate into having deep feelings of resentment or rage.

Such continuous deep rooted feelings has devastating effects on a person physically. Whenever tension becomes untreated it could manifest itself in several ways such as health problems. This additionally will affect other people including friends and family members. Another symptom can be a lack of concentration whenever performing everyday chores or working. This all means that whenever somebody begin feeling their emotions have become out of control, they should start seeking out help from an anger management professional immediately.

Go here to learn more about how to address your anger management issues.

Dr. Joe James is a psychologist who is the developer of several online anger management courses.

Original article

Nurturing the Voice of Compassion

Children, even infants, are capable of sympathy. But only after adolescence are we capable of compassion.
~Louise J. Kaplan

Trickling within the soul, as a silently meandering stream, is the capacity - a Voice - of communal reason; the sense of empathy where thought is spared for another person; where their shoes, just for a moment, fit our feet.

Compassion, it is true, it found welling from the soul of those who have suffered a little (or a lot); those who have endured, and surpassed, a philosophical adolescence.

That nuance of compassion, though, provident of our endurance, is limited to our experience - there must be so much more compassion available for acquisition. Our God of compassion - Jesus, no less - has it in copious quantity; the Living Water, the well of which, cannot be plumbed.

Operating in this way, the Holy Spirit, the Spirit that Jesus has sent from the Father, is the Voice of Compassion. It is availed to us according to our investment in developing it - the ability to hear the Spirit in the motions of life.

THE GIFT OF BLESSING

The Lord affords us the precious acquisition of that which we make the most important.

This is the ability to focus - unfortunately, it's become an overused term.

This gift of blessing - to choose the direction of our focus - is best wisely chosen; if we choose to venture toward the development of the Voice of Compassion there will be vast personal and interpersonal flow-on blessings. The most commanding of these is manifest personally.

COMPASSION - THE ELIXIR FOR SELFISH TRAITS

Pushing down selfish traits, like self-pity, narcissism, covetousness, and pleasure-seeking, is most effectually accomplished through the nurture of this Voice of Compassion.

The willingness to focus on others is a selfsame willingness not to focus on the self.

Every honest person that enthusiastically treks on their spiritual journey must, with regular cognisance, have encountered the predilection to selfishness. Compassion is a powerful tool taking us the other way.

The Voice of Compassion is hearing the words of God as opposed to the words of the flesh. It is a widened sphere of concern.

COMPASSION - THE KINDNESS OF PERSISTENT MERCY

God's merciful compassion is exemplified in perhaps no better way than by persistence - it never gives up. And as God continues to forgive us evermore, by the shimmering grace of redemption's seed, we also are to nurture compassion that has no end. (Let's not confuse this, though, with naïve trust - compassion is not about lining up to get hurt.)

The kindness of persistent mercy listens to an abundant Voice beyond itself. Hurt does not prevail; instead, it prefers to see the hurt behind the hurt.

How much better it is to sidestep hurt by simply finding the hurt that originated the hurt in the first place. So much anger is motivated by unreconciled hurt below the consciousness. Hence, our compassion feels for that distance of intimacy an angry person has with themselves. How could we be hurt when we know we are not the real source of their anger?

The kindness of persistent mercy - a beautiful part-definition of true compassion - is sown realms above the hurt in humanity. It values the sight and objectivity of the Lord.

***

Everyone needs compassion. Obeying God is listening for, nurturing within, and obeying, the Voice of Compassion.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com/

Original article

Stop the Bullying Where It Starts

Bullying is a topic that has been getting more attention lately. We are seeing this happen more in schools with children and teens. Young people are increasingly bullied because of sexual orientation, economic status and disabilities. Although the causes of bullying are many, one answer that points to hope in helping our children and teens starts in the home. Much research has shown that children, teens, and even adults who bully others have often been bullied at home, either by their parents, siblings, or other adults. So how does this relate to anger management? If we are not managing our emotions at home and we are using anger, intimidation, and violence to get what we want, what are we teaching our young ones? And, if they are too afraid to speak up or fight back at home, where else are they supposed feel any control but in the schools or playgrounds where they can pick on people they're own size or smaller?

Anger management classes are not the same as parenting classes, but, they can definitely help you understand how your behavior is impacting those around you and managing your emotions can help you learn to communicate and even parent more effectively.

Many times I have had adults in my anger management class realize that they are bullies in their home with their kids and even their spouse. It's important to understand that kids are not born bullies. No one is. We learn it from somewhere. Bullying is a learned behavior.

If you are a parent, caregiver or have a teen struggling with bullying behavior, take the first step in a direction of hope and change for you or them. In anger management courses you will learn new ways of communicating and getting what you need and want from others. You will learn to feel more in control of yourself and your life. You can learn skills that will help you relax, solve and respond to problems more effectively, and be more positive in your thinking. Best of all, you can discover these new skills in a non-judgmental and friendly environment of people who care about helping you change.

A key component in anger management is learning to increase your level of empathy. Empathy is the ability to feel the heart of another, to see through the eyes of another. Empathy is the finishing skill when teaching others or yourself how to stop bullying.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.S.
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://www.angermanagementvideo.net/
855-662-6437

Original article

Methods for Getting a Grip on Anger

Many of us have difficulty controlling our responses in pressure-filled, stressful situations. When we are feeling reactive, it can be difficult to take a step back and slow down our thinking.

We all know what anger is, and we've all felt it: whether as a fleeting annoyance or as full-fledged rage.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems-problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. Anger can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Here are some helpful tips to help you find peace and calm even in the midst of madness! I like to call these my top "chill out" tips. Read on and let the calming begin.

Chill Out Tip #1: Slow, deep breaths can help you make a controlled response in pressured, tense situations. Take five deep breaths, holding each one to a count of five before releasing it. Clear your thoughts completely and repeat to yourself "I am relaxed" whenever a stressful thought tries to make it's way in to your head.

Chill Out Tip #2: Count backwards. This is a way to gain time to think about how to best respond in a more effective manner. Silently and slowly count backwards at an even pace, from 20 to 1, when faced with a reactive, stressful situation. This helps us to "think before reacting" and works wonders for many of my anger management clients.

Chill Out Tip #3: Take a time out. That's right... physically leave the location to give yourself some space. This can counter escalating feelings. If appropriate, tell those around you that you are feeling angry, need some time and make an agreement with the other person to come back in a specified period of time. Leave the situation and try to get into a clearer mode of thought before you reappear. During the time out, try to slow down your thinking and sort out exactly what caused you to feel angry. Think about what you want to happen. Remember to think about what the other person might feel or want.

Chill Out Tip #4:Pleasant Imagery. Imagine a pleasant or peaceful scene which has a calming effect. A popular one I work thought with clients is a beach scene. The sun is warm, there is a slight breeze and you can hear the lapping of the ocean waves. This type of imagery can help you feel calm in the midst of the madness.

Allison M. Lloyds is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in New York City. Visit her website http://www.synergeticpsychotherapy.com/ to learn more about her services and read more helpful articles on individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, anger management as well as depression and anxiety.

Original article

Employers Utilize Anger Management Classes to Reduce Workplace Violence and Disruptive Behavior

It's the job of CEO's of every corporation across the US, and world, to look out for their employers bottom-line. In many cases that means simple risk prevention. In today's legal happy environment corporations seek anger management training as risk prevention.

In today's fast moving business world, tensions can run high. When a fortune can be made or lost on a daily basis, it can pay-off to have even the lowest of employees take anger management training.

There have been countless cases worldwide of violence at the workplace. In many of those cases, the employer was held at fault for not keeping a safe work environment. For this reason, and more, corporations seek anger management training as risk prevention.

Improves Insurance Premiums

In today's business world, there are countless types of insurance. When a business employs people, or even has a steady stream of customers, it can pay to have great insurance. It can also pay-off in lowering that insurance premium. Lowering the chances for injury on company property can do that. It can be accomplished quickly and easily by having the employees take anger management classes. The number one cause for employee injury is due to another employee.

When the insurance company that covers a particular business knows there is less of a chance for an incident, the costs go down. If the incident rate increases, the costs go up. That simple fact should tell employers that anger management classes, especially in high stress jobs, is essential. It could save the company thousands, if not more, in annual insurance costs.

Millions Saved in Potential Court Cases

Corporations seek anger control training as risk prevention in court cases as well. When two employees get angry at each other, sometimes there's nothing the company could do to stop it. To show that the company has no fault and can't be held liable, the company would be able to provide the court with the employee's certificates of completion. Those certificate come with every anger management training course, online or off.

The certificate of completion will show the court, and judge, that the corporation is in no way at fault. The paper will show that, in fact, the corporation used all means at its disposal to prevent this situation. The corporation will be determined not to be at fault, and the two employees can be terminated and left to fend for their own cases.

That will deter future employees from committing acts of violence, wanting to retain their job and their level of pay. In some lighter cases of anger slip-ups, secondary classes at the employees expense may be necessary. That is up to the employer, the employee, and the circumstance in question. Typical duration class employers seek is a 12 hour anger management class.

By now, it shouldn't be a surprise why corporations seek anger management training as risk prevention. The monetary rewards for making sure all the employees know better could be, potentially, millions of dollars. Waiting could cost the corporation more than you know! In addition to anger, employers also need to understand that alcohol awareness training is just as important as alcohol abuse is the number one problem for substance abuse in corporate America.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Couples Find More Benefit From Anger Management Classes

For years, divorce courts have demanded that couples seek counseling before signing off on a final divorce. Recently, some judges have seen the use in making couples get anger management courses, instead of couples counseling. This change has been for multiple reasons.

One of the biggest differences in anger management classes for couples, is the option to take the courses in a traditional live classroom, or take the classes as a couple online. In many circumstances, the couple won't feel comfortable sitting in a strange room, with a strange man or woman, who claims to be a "couple's expert." By using an online classroom and letting them learn in a comfortable setting, the couple in need of counseling will be more receptive to what each other says and even more revealing than they would be in couples counseling.

Many judges across the United States have realized it's not the "couple" part that needs attention; it's the "anger" part. The vast majority of couples, married or not, truly want to be together. They simply need to be shown a more effective way of communicating anger so that it doesn't explode into an argument that causes a break up.

Anger management is something that extends to all parts of our lives, especially our loved ones. The old saying, 'the ones you love are the ones you hurt the most," isn't just said for laughs. It's true, and that's because it's the ones we love that spend the most time around. They are the ones who have the highest expectations for us. When we let those people and expectations down, or they let us down, anger can easily be the result.

Judges and courts have realized that it's not the disappointment that needs to be managed, but the anger that can result from it. This is one of the biggest reasons why couples' counseling is being diverted to anger management. Couples have issues, and it has been a growing fact that those issues, even when faced, may never go away. At the same time, U.S. courts have realized it is important for couples to deal with the anger that is caused from those issues.

The change has been apparent even when judges, courts, and families aren't involved. More and more couples have realized that couples counseling is nothing more than a more expensive form of anger management, which can be handled for hundreds less.

Anger in a relationship can stem from cheating, resentment for past failures, and growing apart. When a couple grows apart, they often argue about everything, even the things they agree about. Arguing about what part of a movie, or experience, was better is a sure sign that anger management may be needed for the couple to succeed long-term. Probably due to the work of John Gottman, Washington anger management ranks as one of the most sought after states for couples work.

Couples are seeking anger management classes or even online anger classes instead of couples counseling more and more in today's modern age for two simple reasons, it's cost effective and it works. Why take a class that only let's two people pry away at each other's feelings? Instead, take a class that will show you both how to express yourself and handle the feelings of your partner. The anger of a disappointing past is easy to feel, dealing with it in a productive manner may need a little help.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Control Your Emotions to Control Your World

It seems that attitudes, tempers and negative people are becoming a larger part of every day occurrences lately. I contribute a majority of this to ego, drugs, and health habits. When you are surviving on sugar, white flour and, salt, which seems to be the main diet for most people now. Your body reacts to what you put into yourself. You will feel tired, lazy and irritable; and this could cause people to be short tempered with other people. This mixed with the new attitude going around about owning our space in the world could be a setup for disaster. You can be part of the solution and step out of this rat race if you work on yourself a little. One big step would be to work on bad eating habits. The second would be to practice controlling our response to other peoples attitudes.

Many years ago I was one of those people, and then one day it became so clear to me about the path I was on. The very next time you let someone upset you, especially if it's one of those upsets where you are so angry that you just want to get back at them, pay attention to how you feel and why it made you that angry. Many times it's just a matter of feeling as if someone did something deliberately to you personally. Remember, they do not know you. You are an object that happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They are angry with themselves and you happen to be the one to blame for their horrible world that they have created. Why would you want to join them in this place? When you react to their rage it will only escalate the problem more. An example would be road rage over nothing but one person making a human error or perhaps just being ignorant and inconsiderate on the road.

Don't allow yourself to take this personally. Remember this person choose to live everyday in a high tension mood, which is harming their health, they will probably have blood pressure problems and many other health related problems. These type of people will always be upset about something. And one day they will be held accountable; it could be a serious accident, or a sickness from always being in a high emotional state; perhaps the wont have to pay until judgement day; but they will be held accountable. Don't become what you don't like just to make a point or feed your ego. Always remember that what you do will always come back to you, and that will help with letting go of those revengeful feelings.

That is when you will be free; it takes a lot of practice to learn how to let go, but knowing that it's not up to you to punish other people will set you free. Let your ego go, love life and don't allow anyone to rain on your parade. You don't need to be tough all the time. Think about this for a moment; if you feel like you have to bully people to get the respect you need than you are probably insecure with yourself. Acknowledge that and work on becoming more confident. No need to prove yourself by bullying; just know you are a kind and loving person who is working on becoming the best that you can be and your confidence will shine a lot brighter. That is how you gain respect; be a good role model and others will want to be like you. That is how we change the world, not by feeding into the angry hate syndrome.

Change is inevitable; there will always be some type of change occurring, so why not take control and make that change head in the direction that will make you the best that you can be. my articles will be written with that in mind; in hopes that I may bring you helpful information to assist you in your journey. I would like to invite you to visit my website blog where I share personal information of my beliefs and links to sites I believe may be helpful.You are invited to visit http://www.stronghealthtoday.com/

Original article

Anger Management Techniques: Some "Alternative" Approaches

Meaningful anger management techniques are crucial for you to be healthy in body and mind.Bad habits are hard to break if one learns unhealthy behaviors from a family member growing up. Once a habit is learned it can be hard to let go of, but it can be done if one wants to. People have gotten physically ill and also depression is known as being anger turned inward. Learning meaningful anger management techniques are crucial to know to be healthy in body and mind.

A good reiki session would help one clear out energy that may be harmful to one's well-being. Without this clearing, negative energy can continue and be a detriment to being happy. In the western world, people are not taught to breathe. If one breathes, it is almost a detriment to the society because production and making money are more important to health. People must learn to breathe, however, and defy what western society tells us.

A good chakra cleansing session would be a wise ways of dealing with animosity and other bad feelings. There are seven chakras in a human. The root, third eye, throat, heart, sacral, solar plexus, and crown chakras all comprise a person. They all must be balanced in order for a person to be happy and well-adjusted.

All of these chakras must be in alignment with each other and it is the person's responsibility to make sure they get into a good habit to do this work. It only takes a few minutes every day of practice to good at this, but it is well worth the effort.

If one gets caught up in a cycle of being angry about things in one's life and not watching one's thoughts that help precipitate it, it can be frustrating. Whatever we think comes into our experience so it is wise to be aware of our thoughts. The cycle starts when we get angry about our life and if is unresolved leads to more negativity which can lead to more harmful feelings.

It is good to watch who we associate with as this can be paramount to our mental health. What environment we are around, we find ourselves reflecting and if we are not careful, we can reflect unhealthy behaviors just by being around negative people. It is good to have a supportive spouse, our friends, and employer. We must be able to get out of bed in the morning knowing we have those things in order.

We must know what is healthy distress and what is unhealthy anger. Too much or too little is not good for anyone. It is good to have righteous anger when something that needs protecting like a family member or our job is being threatened. Then it is good to now get so angry that we have high blood pressure. This is why appropriate anger management techniques are important.

Get more information about effective anger management techniques that will help you to address challenges more effectively. When you take an anger management class, you can learn the simple steps that will help you to reduce stress and enjoy life.

Original article

Be the Boss of Your Anger

Some people think that when they become angry they are in control of a situation; they are showing others what can happen, what they are capable of if they feel upset or disrespected. But anger is the very opposite of being in control. If the other person stays calm and clear-headed they remain in a position to pull the strings and have the power in an altercation. Conversely, others may become mute, fearful or retreat from having any meaningful interactions with an angry person.

Let's look at the most effective ways to keep control and remain the boss of your anger:

- Have therapy to recognise and deal with the underlying issues. Some people recognise that their behaviour becomes childlike when they are distressed or feel too vulnerable. They are aware that they revert to throwing a tantrum, become sulky or angry but feel unable to react more appropriately at the time. Hypnotherapy and counselling are valuable ways of healing those early underlying issues and enabling more effective, constructive behaviour to occur.

- Learn to recognise your personal warning signs, the amber lights when there is a change in your temperament from everything being fine. Do you feel your smile freeze, your sense of humour become a little more tense, your body stiffen? What are your warning signals that your mood is changing, or, if there is no prior warning, train yourself to afterwards reflect on what happened just before the situation escalated that resulted in you feeling trapped, vulnerable, inflamed.

- Is it appropriate to resort to anger on this occasion? If you are in an intimidating or frightening situation decide if anger is the most effective response or will it simply inflame the situation and make it worse? There maybe times when you feel that anger is a reasonable option, but if it enrages everyone it may result in prolonging the situation and maybe even escalate it.

- Decide what you want as an outcome of a discussion or interaction and work towards that goal. Staying calm and remaining in control allows you to retain a better awareness of what is going. Once anger erupts many people find that they lose the ability to think clearly. The rising emotions often cause people to become more reactive. The person who remains calm has the most control.

- Enlist the help of friends or loved ones by explaining what the triggers are that cause you to lose control and become angry. Maybe agree a system which provides an opportunity for you to take a break and cool off if you feel yourself starting to see red. Some people use an innocuous code word which can be said to call a time out and provide a break before harmful things are said. It allows time to calm down and can enable communications to progress in a more respectful way. Other people are understanding, especially when they see that someone is trying to address their problem.

Finding ways to manage your anger and utilise constructive ways to keep control of your moods, words and actions help you to gradually become more insightful and positive about the way you behave. These techniques gradually become more natural, you become less stressed and a better quality of life for all occurs.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

Original article

Blaming Others Can Ruin Your Health

An article on CNN Health by Elizabeth Cohen, is very interesting, regarding the negative health effects of blame and resentment.

"Feeling bitter interferes with the body's hormonal and immune systems, according to Carsten Wrosch, an associate professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal...."

"The data that negative mental states cause heart problems is just stupendous. The data is just as established as smoking, and the size of the effect is the same."

--Dr. Charles Raison

Blame ignites the body's fight or flight stress mechanism. If we actually fight, then the stress hormones will dissipate, but "When our bodies are constantly primed to fight someone, the increase in blood pressure and in chemicals such as C-reactive protein eventually take a toll on the heart and other parts of the body" states Raison.

It is now well known that 90% of illness has its source in stress - and blame, resentment and bitterness certainly cause much stress.

Our ego wounded self is the part of us that wants to control everything, and blaming others for our feelings is a very common way of trying to control. However, like anything we do that avoids taking responsibility for ourselves, the consequences can be disastrous for our wellbeing.

Moving Beyond Blame

The first thing you need to ask yourself is, "Do I WANT to move beyond blame? Am I ready to let go of seeing myself as a victim of others' choices and learn how to take responsibility for my own feelings and needs?"

The answer to this question might not be at all obvious to you. One part of you might be saying, "Of course I want to let go of blame. Why would I want to keep blaming? Why would I want to be a victim?" However, another less conscious part of you might be deeply invested in the belief that others and circumstances cause your feelings. You might not want to know that you are the captain of your own ship, and that you are the one keeping yourself stuck - feeling angry, resentful, victimized, anxious or depressed.

So, the question is, "Do I WANT to learn how to take responsibility for myself - both for causing my own pain, and for managing the pain caused by others and circumstances - or do I want to stay stuck in blame and resentment?"

Think about this carefully, as it is very easy to fool yourself. Since the identity of our programmed mind - our ego wounded self - is based on trying to have control over getting love and avoiding pain, to feel safe, it is not easy to want to give up this control.

If you decide that you really want to let go of trying to control through blaming others - or blaming yourself - then following the Six Steps of Inner Bonding will train you in taking responsibility for yourself.

Start with tuning in to the anger and resentment that gets expressed as blame. Breathe into these feelings and embrace them, as a loving parent would embrace an upset child.

Now go a little deeper. Tune in to the difficult feelings of helplessness, loneliness and heartache that might be underneath the anger and resentment. Breathe into these feelings with kindness and caring toward yourself. These are hard feelings to feel. It takes courage to feel them, so congratulate yourself if you have the courage.

See if you can accept that you cannot have control over getting the person you are angry with to change. Paradoxically, accepting your powerlessness over others is what opens the door to personal power - to taking loving care of yourself.

Once you can find a place of acceptance of your lack of control over others, open to learning with your higher self. Ask, with a solid intent to learn about loving yourself, "What do I need to do right now to create an inner sense of peace?" Stay open to ideas popping into your mind.

Then take the action that seems most loving to you. Perhaps it would be a prayer for the person you are angry at. Perhaps you need a good cry and/or a walk in nature. Perhaps you need to reach out for help from a friend or therapist. The loving action is the action that brings a sense of peace and fullness inside.

If you try this each time you find yourself angry, blaming and resentful, you will move out of the stress of blame and into the peace of taking personal responsibility for your emotional wellbeing.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com/ for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Original article

Anger Management: The Value of Emotional Intelligence

As Emotional Intelligence (EQ) became well known, people began learning more about how to handle their emotions, especially anger. Many businesses as well as anger management classes use this to help teach communication between people.

Understanding your emotional intelligence is an important part of everyday life because it teaches to be more aware of your surroundings, more sensitive to how your actions affect others and help to regulate any anger issues.

Knowing and expression emotions properly has nothing to do with Intelligent Quotient (IQ). Instead, it is about people skills. Specifically, it is the ability to recognize, understand and regulate your own emotions and those of others. By being able to make better choices about emotions as they relate to anger you can understand how to better act or react in any situation. In fact, research has shown that people who are able to manage their own feelings and work more effectively with others are more likely to live happier lives.

In the workplace, understanding your emotions has become more important because employers use it as a predictor of which employees will make the best leaders on projects. There are certain assumptions that are made about employees who score high on Emotional Intelligence. For instance, an employer would expect that this employee was able to control their own emotions, understand how to communicate well with others and how to be a strong problem solver. This person may have a great sense of humor and be able to show empathy to other people. All traits that are important in the workplace.

Emotional Intelligence is also important in personal relationships because it helps everyone communicate more effectively. Let's face it, emotions are a big part of relationships and they can run rampant if they are not controlled, especially anger.

When we understand Emotional Intelligence and how to use it we can strengthen existing relationships and increase our ability to communicate more effectively. It will also help us manage our anger more effectively and learn more about ourselves. Some people can become angry and abusive when confronted with certain situations. Without Emotional Intelligence there can be a tendency to strike out with fighting or other violence. When Emotional Intelligence is learned it can stop edgy situations from becoming more difficult and it can empower individuals to take control instead of taking revenge. Relationships can also break up because the two people (whether friends or married) cannot seem to get past the hurt feelings that accumulate if people do not learn how to regulate emotions and anger. Emotional Intelligence helps you sort out communication challenges as well as be more aware of another's feelings, which is a powerful anger management tool.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford MS
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437

Original article

Anger Management Through the Holidays - The Bermuda Triangle

The Holiday Season for many can be a time of joy including parties, gifts and festivities galore. We are called upon to be at our best so it also can be a difficult time emotionally. Many know the holidays as The Bermuda Triangle of emotions - Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Remember that "stress" is a big component during the holidays and is also the number one trigger for anger. It can be a time which many of us spend extended time with our "families-of origin" - often a challenging and arduous endeavor. Old resentments or remembered hurts can come up and compromise the intended celebration and fun. We need to be prepared with an attitude of gratitude, forgiveness and empathy.

Keep in mind that not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy the holidays. Be respectful of other feelings and how they may have difficulty navigating the holidays themselves.

Using anger management tools can help. Watch your expectations. Your holiday season may not necessarily match the picture on a greeting card or a holiday Christmas television special.

Be sure to concentrate on giving of yourself. Isn't that what the holidays are all about anyway?

If old hurts or resentments come up (which they will), cultivate empathy and a willingness to forgive. Remember that "resentments" hurt you more than they hurt other person.

If you become irritated or angry - take a time out. Don't "react" to others - rather take a few seconds or minutes - and "respond" - otherwise you may find yourself acting out of your emotions rather than logic. Taking a time out gives you space to process your feelings. Remember that we don't all act or think the same way. We can consider where the other person is coming from.

Lastly - be aware of your "inner talk". Sometimes the messages we tell ourselves are not accurate and cause us to act impulsively. Ask someone you respect if you are thinking rationally before you respond to a perceived attack or insult.

Ask yourself, "Am I coming from a place of "compassion and love" or "fear and anger"?

Many vessels of holiday past have successfully made it through the "Bermuda Triangle". Try to relax and learn to enjoy yourself. Walk into this holiday season with and attitude of gratitude as your compass and you will see yourself sail into safe harbors.

If you follow these simple suggestions you will now be a carrier of holiday joy rather than the Mr. or Mrs. Scrooge.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford MS
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
855-662-6437

Original article

Anger Management Techniques to Survive the Holidays

The holidays are an especially stressful time of year and knowing a few anger management techniques to help you cope may come in handy.

It's inevitable: a to-do list the length of your arm, house guests, parties, shopping, traffic, not to mention the stresses of spending time with family members you wouldn't be caught dead with if you weren't related- it's easy to blow your top this time of year. Is there anything you can do to prevent a meltdown?

Here are a few anger management techniques that might be useful.

Begin by lowering your expectations. Your holiday isn't going to be perfect, in fact, it's the idiosyncrasies and quirkiness of our families that make them so precious. Don't be set on being the one in control all the time. If you're used to being in charge at home, it can be stressful to let go and let someone like your Aunt Mildred be in control for awhile but if you can do it, even just for a little bit, you'll be happier in the end. If Uncle Homer likes to tell the same war stories over and over again, let him. Don't forget that this is only for a short time and soon enough it won't matter who said what or who did what, just that you all didn't kill each other. Try to remember that almost every single thing in life that you face in life which stresses you out will probably have zero impact on your life the next day, week or month. In fact you'll probably end up forgetting it even happened.

Exercise. As much as you can, try to get in regular physical exercise during the holidays. Physical exercise is a great way to reduce stress and lower the risk of uncontrollable anger.

Practice saying no. One of the most common holiday stressors is being over-committed. Learn to decline invites graciously and just say no.

If all else fails and you get in an argument, remember one of the most tried and true anger management techniques: walk away. Give yourself time to think of how best to respond to the situation before you react out of anger. Remember that when we're really angry, the rational mind is clouded and you're not seeing the whole picture. If you have to, tell the other person you can't respond to them now but will get back to them later and leave the room.

Using these anger management techniques during the holidays to find ways to reduce stress is one way to ensure that the holiday season remains a pleasant and enjoyable one for your family.

Anger management techniques are something that can be learned and practiced if you are determined to do so. For information about classes in anger management in Maryland, visit our website.

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Is Bottling Up Anger Okay?

Anger can sometimes drive us crazy, making us say or do things we later come to regret. While it is true that you shouldn't let anger get the best of you and should calmly think everything through before saying or doing something reckless, the important question is this: is bottling up your anger ever the solution? It never is, and here's why keeping anger inside and leaving issues unresolved is not okay.

Bottled up anger will make you bitter and moody

If you keep stifling your anger and let it fester inside you, you will start feeling very morose eventually. Everything will irk you and you will start seeing life in a whole new, pessimistic light. Anger has the tendency to make you obsessive and moody, and when it is not handled properly it can harm you. Leaving issues that anger you unsolved and trying to ignore them never works, the anger you have kept inside will not fade away but will grow with time until it becomes unbearably agonizing.

You might say the wrong things at the wrong time

Very often, keeping your anger inside means saying all the wrong things at the wrong time and making a fool of yourself. If you ignore an issue for the time being and try to ignore the fact that it has made you angry, you will most probably bring it up at the wrong time and far from having it resolved, it will get you into an even bigger mess. For instance, someone has said or done something that has made you angry, and you decide to bottle it up. You keep the rage inside until eventually you can't take it anymore and spill out everything you have wanted to say; when the other person has long forgotten the thing he did or said. This will not only make you seem foolish, but will also make you feel guilty later, and will solve nothing.

People you are angry at will never know how you feel

Most of the times when we talk things out in a mature way, we find it all to be one big misunderstanding where the other person meant something and you took it to mean something else. If you never tell the other person you are angry or hurt, however, things will never be cleared up, and you will never get over it.

Bottled up anger turns into anxiety disorder

Anger that is kept inside slowly turns into moodiness and even depression, until you are incapable of being good at anything, be it work or even socializing. Depression and other anxiety disorders drastically ruin the quality of your life, and you will become a loner with friends who avoid you because of your anger issues.

Original article

Anger Is Deadly to Sustaining Healthy Relationships

Modern life is often highly stressful. In many people this stress can build up and manifest in the form of anger. Of course, it is perfectly normal, indeed healthy, to be angry sometimes. However, when anger begins to define a person, it becomes a lot more damaging, not just to the person who is suffering from anger, but all the people that surround that person.

Anger is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. Generally it is considered to be a natural emotion. However, at the point where it becomes uncontrolled, anger is considered to be quite a major issue. Such uncontrolled anger can seriously affect ones personal and social well being.

In this article we shall look at the ways that anger can negatively affect the people around you. It pays to take a moment and ask yourself how many people are influenced by your moods. Do you have a wife or husband, boyfriend or girlfriend? How about children? Workmates, friends, even people that you interact with on the street can also all be adversely affected by chronic anger.

One of the most common important relationships that are affected by anger is the relationship of a couple, married or otherwise. These anger issues are not gender specific. It can happen to the man, woman or both. In the worst case scenario it can even lead to domestic violence. Many relationships break down because of anger that was not controlled, and the relationships that continue are often unhappy for all parties involved.

Another important relationship that can be damaged or destroyed by anger is the relation of parent-child. If a child ends up facing the brunt of a parent's anger, the child can have developmental issues as they grow older, as well as having serious relationship problems with your parent. This is quite often an issue as children are often the source of a parent's anger. However it is the job of the parent to be mature and control their anger when dealing with a child. When a parent does get into a state of uncontrolled anger towards a child it is not the child's fault, as he or she is likely only doing what all children do. This is where a parenting anger management class could be helpful.

In the professional environment, anger can quickly ruin professional relationships. Quite often in the workplace, workmates can do things that get you angry. It is perfectly okay to voice your anger at your workmates for something they did or did not do. However, if you go into a fit of rage, not only do you risk losing the respect of your fellow workmates, you also jeopardize your job.

Friends too can often be a source of anger. They can occasionally do things that annoy you. However, if you value your friendship it is best to stay in control of your anger. Naturally, you can voice your anger or frustration in a reasonable tone of voice, it is considered to be healthy to do so. But if you lose control you are going to lose friends.

By learning to control your anger you can not only become a happier person, but the people around you will respect you more for it. If you do suffer from anger issues be honest with yourself and do not be afraid to seek help. You will become a far greater person for it. Anger classes can be taken simply for person growth or for court ordered anger requirements. Regardless of the reason, getting help is simple.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Original article

How to Deal With Inner Anger

Anger is one of those emotions that everybody at some point will have to deal with but many people consider being angry as unhealthy. Whilst many psychologist and psychotherapists will debate this position the reality is consistent inner anger can lead to illness and our inability to deal with life on a day to day basis.

To help us learn how to deal with inner anger we need to look at anger as five interrelated dimensions, all operating simultaneously. These dimensions are:

- Our thoughts when we are angry
- The emotions that our anger arouses
- The ways we let others know that we are angry
- How we experience the world when we are angry
- How we act when we are angry

In reflection, look at it this way, what you think about affects your anger, anger influences how you feel; how you feel when you are angry influences how you communicate; how you communicate affects how you think; how you think affects how you behave.

All of these elements influences the way that you have to deal with this inner anger and they are all interrelated.

The reality is that often inner anger is cause by trigger thoughts. By understanding and identifying those trigger thoughts you can then develop a strategy on how to deal with your inner anger.

One of the first things you can do in helping yourself deal with inner anger is to keep a journal of the thoughts that led up to you feeling the way in which you do. If you are receiving professional help from a therapist then this journal will be invaluable in helping them provide specific assistance and advice with your challenges.

The easiest way to capture this information is to create a table with eight columns and list at the top of each column the following:

1.Enter the date and time you had angry thoughts
2.What was the thought you had that made you feel angry
3.Was this thought triggered internally or externally
4.What was your physical reaction to that thought
5.What are your thoughts now
6.How did you behave when you were having these thoughts
7.Between 1 and 100, with 100 being most angry what was your level of anger
8.Did you getting Angry Affect Others

Each time you are in a situation where you feel angry take a moment to jot down each of your feelings into your journal. Thing about each question at the top of each column and make sure you write down as much information as possible.

Once you have captured this information the key is to review and reflect on the collected information to identify what key thoughts or activities are making you angry. If you know the trigger you can then implement some key strategies to deal with this anger.

Some basic techniques you can use to help you manage your inner anger is to:

- Stop and take a deep breath and relax.
- Clear your mind. Empty It
- Always Stay calm. Do not engage with sarcasm or attacks.
- Take a time-out. Cool off, go for a walk and then come back and deal with it.
- Break it down. Anger often comes from lumping things together.

These techniques are very simple and do not deal with every possibility of inner anger. The reality is that if you have a serious anger management issue it is very important that you seek out professional help from a psychologist or therapist. The therapist will help you to develop a personalised plan to deal with your inner anger.

Chris Le Roy is the Managing Director of the One-on-One Professional Business Training Centre. Our company provides a regular anger management course that will help you to learn to manage your anger, you career and more. Our company also provides first aid courses to help ensure you have that qualification when you apply for your next job.

Original article