Anger Management Through the Holidays - The Bermuda Triangle

The Holiday Season for many can be a time of joy including parties, gifts and festivities galore. We are called upon to be at our best so it also can be a difficult time emotionally. Many know the holidays as The Bermuda Triangle of emotions - Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

Remember that "stress" is a big component during the holidays and is also the number one trigger for anger. It can be a time which many of us spend extended time with our "families-of origin" - often a challenging and arduous endeavor. Old resentments or remembered hurts can come up and compromise the intended celebration and fun. We need to be prepared with an attitude of gratitude, forgiveness and empathy.

Keep in mind that not everyone has the opportunity to enjoy the holidays. Be respectful of other feelings and how they may have difficulty navigating the holidays themselves.

Using anger management tools can help. Watch your expectations. Your holiday season may not necessarily match the picture on a greeting card or a holiday Christmas television special.

Be sure to concentrate on giving of yourself. Isn't that what the holidays are all about anyway?

If old hurts or resentments come up (which they will), cultivate empathy and a willingness to forgive. Remember that "resentments" hurt you more than they hurt other person.

If you become irritated or angry - take a time out. Don't "react" to others - rather take a few seconds or minutes - and "respond" - otherwise you may find yourself acting out of your emotions rather than logic. Taking a time out gives you space to process your feelings. Remember that we don't all act or think the same way. We can consider where the other person is coming from.

Lastly - be aware of your "inner talk". Sometimes the messages we tell ourselves are not accurate and cause us to act impulsively. Ask someone you respect if you are thinking rationally before you respond to a perceived attack or insult.

Ask yourself, "Am I coming from a place of "compassion and love" or "fear and anger"?

Many vessels of holiday past have successfully made it through the "Bermuda Triangle". Try to relax and learn to enjoy yourself. Walk into this holiday season with and attitude of gratitude as your compass and you will see yourself sail into safe harbors.

If you follow these simple suggestions you will now be a carrier of holiday joy rather than the Mr. or Mrs. Scrooge.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford MS
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
855-662-6437

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Anger Management Techniques to Survive the Holidays

The holidays are an especially stressful time of year and knowing a few anger management techniques to help you cope may come in handy.

It's inevitable: a to-do list the length of your arm, house guests, parties, shopping, traffic, not to mention the stresses of spending time with family members you wouldn't be caught dead with if you weren't related- it's easy to blow your top this time of year. Is there anything you can do to prevent a meltdown?

Here are a few anger management techniques that might be useful.

Begin by lowering your expectations. Your holiday isn't going to be perfect, in fact, it's the idiosyncrasies and quirkiness of our families that make them so precious. Don't be set on being the one in control all the time. If you're used to being in charge at home, it can be stressful to let go and let someone like your Aunt Mildred be in control for awhile but if you can do it, even just for a little bit, you'll be happier in the end. If Uncle Homer likes to tell the same war stories over and over again, let him. Don't forget that this is only for a short time and soon enough it won't matter who said what or who did what, just that you all didn't kill each other. Try to remember that almost every single thing in life that you face in life which stresses you out will probably have zero impact on your life the next day, week or month. In fact you'll probably end up forgetting it even happened.

Exercise. As much as you can, try to get in regular physical exercise during the holidays. Physical exercise is a great way to reduce stress and lower the risk of uncontrollable anger.

Practice saying no. One of the most common holiday stressors is being over-committed. Learn to decline invites graciously and just say no.

If all else fails and you get in an argument, remember one of the most tried and true anger management techniques: walk away. Give yourself time to think of how best to respond to the situation before you react out of anger. Remember that when we're really angry, the rational mind is clouded and you're not seeing the whole picture. If you have to, tell the other person you can't respond to them now but will get back to them later and leave the room.

Using these anger management techniques during the holidays to find ways to reduce stress is one way to ensure that the holiday season remains a pleasant and enjoyable one for your family.

Anger management techniques are something that can be learned and practiced if you are determined to do so. For information about classes in anger management in Maryland, visit our website.

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Avoid Arguments During the Holidays by Learning Simple Anger Management Techniques

During the Holidays that's when family members come together. Relatives and friends you have not seen for so long, this is the time you see them again. Therefore this can bring old resentments and grievances that can often lead to anger. Many people find themselves time stressed with holiday preparations which even lowers coping ability. Others have come to dislike holidays because of the fights and disagreements which consequently result in anger and resentment. Anger is triggered by many things of which if you do not know how to control it, it will definitely continue to ruin a potentially relaxing holiday if you don't catch yourself. Therefore managing anger over your holiday you need to develop and apply the following skills which will help you have a different outcome.

If you want to manage anger over the holiday, be careful with the amount of alcohol you consume because excessive drinking contributes to conflict and aggression.
Manage your time carefully so that you do not over schedule yourself, in other wide plan ahead and set aside Specific days or time for each item to be done, and give more time to yourself.
You have to learn to be empathetic. Try to view the world from the shoes of other people and you will be shocked at how you anger dissipates.
Dealing with anger in the holidays you may need to adjust your expectations, keeping in the back of your mind that things can go different from how you have planed them. You have to adjust your expectations of family and friends remembering that you are only with them for a short time.
If you are to manage anger in your holiday, work on your forgiveness skills. You have to know that holding grudges against others hurts basically you. Let old resentments go and work on new and better relationships.
You can manage anger over the holiday through self-esteem. Boost you self-esteem and know your worth. This will help you to avoid indulging in unnecessary arguments and fights which would cause you to anger.
You have to learn to acknowledge your feelings. If something happens may be you are rejected or disappointed just know that it's normal to feel sad in such a situation. Its fine to cry since it also helps us to let go.
Managing anger over the holiday requires you to be realistic and more flexible. Things don't always go the same way they usually do. As family grows, changes have to take place and new traditions and rituals often come in. so control anger by being open to change and creating new ideas.

One thing you have to really do is to stick to your budget. Before you do any thing decide how much money you are to spend and hold to it. Excess spending will always cause disappointment and anger in your holiday.

Learn to practice relaxation skills. If any thing disappoints relax. You can do this by taking a deep breath, take a walk, listen to your favorite music or getting some exercise. By doing this you are restoring inner calmness.

Hold on to your health habits and don't let your holidays become a free for all. Indulging yourself in everything just because it's a holiday will eventually cause you to feel guilt and anger. Also you have to continue exercising and get plenty of sleep.

Managing anger over holidays requires you to learn to say no. Not every thing that your friends tell you to do you want it. They will understand if you don't participate in every activity. Saying yes when you should have said no would only lead to feelings of resentment and anger.

If your holiday is to be anger free, you need to develop a positive attitude. Looking at things with a good attitude will save you from a lot of anger. Appreciate people the way they are and learn to handle every one according to their unique personality traits. Managing anger over the holiday is not a joke. Anger is often a difficult emotion to manage over the holidays. As a gift to yourself or a loved one, consider anger management classes as an option. It could be the best holiday present decision you ever made.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes
Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

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