Don't Wait Until Your Relationship Crumbles, Get Anger Management Help Today

Anger is a completely natural, healthy human emotion. We all feel it from time to time, whether in the form of annoyance or absolute rage, and any number of reasons can cause us to become angry. But there are times when anger becomes a real problem, leaving you feeling as though you are at the mercy of an overpowering and controlling emotion. Some people are naturally more hot headed than others, or circumstances and experiences may have lead some people to a place where their anger becomes difficult to manage. Whatever the reasons for your problems, anger management classes prevent relationship destruction, help you to control your emotions more effectively and to take hold of your life again.

Anger is a natural reaction to things that cause a certain kind of stress on your body. The source of your anger can be external (such as another person or an event) or internal (perhaps triggers by a memory of something that happened in the past, or a certain set of behaviours someone has displayed towards you) These situations cause a rise in adrenaline and energy in your body, and often the natural response to this adrenalin surge is to become angry. Think of animals in their natural habitats- under pressure their natural reaction is to fight (ie get angry and become aggressive), or to fly (to run away). As humans, years of socialisation and conditioning have taught us that there are other responses available to us under pressure, and for most people, anger has become an emotion that we can control and manage. If you're having problems controlling your anger, find yourself flying off the handle and then regretting it later, or feel that you sometimes take your anger out on the people you love and who are closest to you, then it is important not to despair, and to realise that there are techniques and methods that you can use to get control back. Interestingly, New York Anger Management programs are in high demand, likely due to the high density population of the state.

The best way to learn to manage your anger is through Anger Management classes. Anger can cause all kinds of problems, including relationship destruction and problems at work, but with the help of an Anger Management Specialist you can start to overcome these problems, learning to manage your emotions in a natural way. For some sufferers of anger related issues, half of the battle is admitting that you have a problem, first to yourself, and then to others. If the thought of talking directly to a therapist fills you with dread then an anger class online might be the perfect solution for you. Anger classes online can give you the theory, knowledge and skills that you need to get your anger under control, and find other outlets for your excess energy and/ or aggression. With time, these classes help in many areas of life. With anger classes online you are allowed to progress privately, and in your own time. Anger management classes prevent relationship destruction, both in your personal and professional life, giving you back your confidence and self esteem, and helping you to enjoy the pleasurable things in life again.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

What Are the True Costs of Anger?

Anger is one of those emotions that people shy away from talking about. The emotion is almost a taboo subject in the western world yet if we do not take the time to understand and deal with this emotion, the toll that it can have on our physical bodies, emotional state of mind and our relationships can be devastating. In this article I am going to journey through the true costs of anger.

If I asked you, "What do you think the true costs of anger are? What response would you give?" Take a moment to actually reflect on the question before reading on.

The most common response would be that it destroys relationships and you could probably give me an example of a damaged relationship due to anger. However the reality is that if we hold onto anger we actually risk damaging our own bodies.

Prolonged anger has been shown through research to put the physiology of your body at risk. In fact we know that it can in fact be an agent for heart disease, heart attack and even stroke.

Think about your body in this manner. Imagine your heart is a tap and you have two hoses, one hose that is ½ an inch and the other that is ¼ inch. If you were to attach the ½ inch hose to the tap your blood would flow normally but if you were to attach the ¼ inch hose to the tap, the hose would be under lots of pressure, in fact two times the pressure, because your heart is still trying to move the same amount of fluid through a space half the size.

Well the reality is this. When you are angry the blood vessels in your body will constrict, just like attaching a ¼ inch hose to your heart, but your body still has to pump the same amount of blood around your body. So whilst you are angry there is going to be additional pressure on your blood vessels and over time the blood vessels can weaken.

In fact, it has been shown that prolonged anger can damage the vessels so much that it can lead to heart attack, stroke or a brain aneurism. An aneurism is where the blood vessel actually explodes. A friend of mine some 20 years ago had been under so much pressure and was suffering from a serious anger management issue due to divorce, that one day a blood vessel in his head simply exploded. The doctors during the autopsy stated very clearly that anger had played a large part in his death.

Anger can be used to release pressure built up over time but not learning how to deal with anger in an effective manner may lead to serious health issues in the future. They can also affect you in such a manner that you may turn to comfort activities like eating fast food and drinking. So whilst anger may not be the primary cause of your health issues, it will certainly push you in a way that will not help.

If you are suffering from anger issues it is very important that you are honest with yourself right now and make the decision to get help. It is never too late to get help and change your life. You cannot change the past, but you can work towards a much happier future without the burden of anger.

Chris Le Roy is the Managing Director of the One-on-One Professional Business Training Centre. Our company provides a regular anger management classes that will help you to learn to manage your anger, you career and more. Our company also provides senior first aid courses to help ensure you have that qualification when you apply for your next job.

Original article

Better Understand Court Ordered Anger Management Classes

Anger Management classes are sometimes ordered by the courts for any number of reasons. Often these classes are also taken, for other reasons, without any mandatory requirements, such as for personal growth, or at the request of an employer or relative. When ordered by the courts, anger management classes become mandatory. They may also be ordered by the probation department,or as a component of a plea bargain or for minor law violations.

If you have been ordered by the court to take anger classes, then,it becomes a legal obligation to fulfill this requirement. There are certain compulsory obligations for attending or participating in the classes. The requirements may depend on your state or county in which you live. In some regions, you may be required to attend live anger management sessions, and in other areas, you may have the option to take anger management class online.

It may sometimes be difficult to personally attend live classes, due to any number of reasons that include travel restrictions, a busy schedule, and other life commitments, but with the internet and available technology, online courses allow you learn the same anger tools, as being physically present, but you learn in and self-paced and low stress environment. These classes can easily suit the requirements for Court ordered management classes.

Courses may be ordered by the courts for a number of reasons, that may include, not only learning how to handle anger,but also how to manage the feelings of anger, than can sometimes lead to stress. These techniques may include strategies to avoid violent tendencies. Other productive tools normally taught in the courses, include being aware of yourself in stressful situations, how to communicate effectively, and using stress management to prevent outbursts of anger.

The number of sessions or hours, demanded, is usually determined by the courts or by probation officers. Often the number of classes, are not specified, but typically, the management course consists of 8-12 anger class sessions. The courses are often taught or facilitated by professionals who are skilled or qualified to work in the fields of psychology or social studies. The Century Anger Management model is most widely used, and is accepted by the courts.It is also recommended by authorities that include prisons, courts, colleges, and all levels and branches of government agencies that make up law enforcement.

Anger management classes are not only ordered by courts, but these classes can also be effective in corporate settings. Because of the increased amount of stress that appears in our daily lives, it appears that attendance in anger management classes has increased. It also seems, that, in an effort to prevent violence and aggression, law enforcement, the judicial system and anger management professionals are becoming more closely aligned. Anger management can be therapeutic treatment in a variety of cases, such as child custody, and divorce. Court ordered anger control classes can also be effective in potential harmful situations and can diffuse arguments. It is an interesting concept to think that anger classes be ordered for terrorists before seeds of anger begin to germinate.This can prevent the unwarranted destruction that accompanies their activities.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Court Ordered Anger Classes.

Original article

Anger - Friend Or Foe?

What is your immediate bodily response to even reading the word 'anger'?

Your thoughts and feelings about it stem from your own personal experiences of anger, plus what you have heard or read about it too.

We see anger exist in a wide spectrum of behaviors, from an irritated person's foot/finger-tapping - right through to violent and destructive rage where people and/or property gets damaged.

We see television coverage of civil unrest and violent struggles for democracy; the outrage at exploitation of the vulnerable - children, the elderly, the sick, and animals; the threat to our livelihoods caused by Government changes in policy - which we then also feel impotent to effectively challenge, and this fuels our anger even further.

We can become 'de-sensitised' to all of the anger we witness - but we are still emotionally and psychologically affected by it. Perhaps it triggers memories of an angry household that we grew up in, or what we experienced of anger in school; or of a 'rage' incident we have been a part of; or of gang violence; or the violent public disorders seen over the decades of our lives.

We may have been 'conditioned' in childhood not to allow ourselves to feel, let alone to express, anger. Instead it festers within us affecting our physical and emotional/psychological health. We may have had to develop a 'mask' to wear - instead of being authentic and showing our real emotions. Alternatively we may have learned to scare people with our anger - to get out own way.

Anger CAN be a good thing! It can energise up to protect our personal and family boundaries, to keep ourself, and those we care about, safe from harm. It can give us the courage to challenge threats to our integrity and well-being. In this respect anger is a helpful emotion.

Anger can also cover and hide deeper sadness, sorrow and despair that we won't allow ourself to feel, because we fear it will be too overwhelming. Instead we show the world our angry and aggressive self who's deeper purpose is to protect our own vulnerability from further pain.

Some people will evoke and invite an angry response from others - and then 'pretend' that they have no idea why people react to them with hostility. These are the people that are always late; forgetful; play the 'victim that no-one can rescue'; create disharmony with their malicious gossip etc. They create anger around them but don't accept responsibility for doing so.

If we are afraid or ashamed of our own anger we will probably stuff it down or 'divert' or 'displace' it into certain behaviors. These behaviors can range from some forms of self-harm to lashing out at inanimate objects. If we don't learn how to express our anger in a healthy way we store it up and it can instead flood out as if a dam has burst - usually in a situation that doesn't warrant anything like the level of anger we are showing.

When we are angry, or furious, we cannot think clearly, we cannot express ourself clearly or effectively - we will probably be shouting as an attempt to gain the upper-hand; and we look aggressive and threatening to others - which in turn activates something in them - based upon their own history and relationship with anger, and what it has led to in their own past.

We often 're-play' in our mind angry scenarios and think about what we wished we'd said and done - which can then further increase feelings of frustration and disappointment in ourselves.

A healthier scenario is to develop the calm assertive language of the Sensible Adult in you - and express your level of anger at the right person, in the right way and at the right time.

We need to learn how to understand and control our emotions, and then to choose to respond to a situation assertively rather than just emotionally reacting to things around us like an angry child would.

Bear in mind that every thought you have affects every cell in your body - and that we can become 'addicted' to the frequent cascade of chemicals within our bodies which result from our frequent thoughts, and the situations we attract to ourselves. A negative loop begins - made worse by the 'negative filter' we then create which ensures that we then perceive new events with the contamination of our old experiences. We all literally 'project' our meaning onto an event or person and react/behave 'as-if' it were the truth! Self-fulfilling prophesies do exist!

Our emotions affect those around us and in turn we are affected by those people that we are around - it's called Emotional Contagion. You have to decide who you want to spend time with and the extent to which they enhance your sense of well-being - or not.

Psycho-emotional education can help you to understand and change to your Anger, and the part it plays in your life. Brainwave entrainment and sub-conscious belief re-programming can also help with the problem of Anger.

Maxine Harley founder of 'The Ripple Effect' Process (12 Psycho-emotional Educational groups) see http://www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk/ and http://www.qpp.uk.com/

Original article

Hypnosis As an Anger Management Therapy Alternative

The inability to keep anger from overwhelming your better judgment and leading you towards anti-social behavior can be put to an end with the help of an anger management hypnosis mp3 download. This is a great alternative treatment method for anger issues; it is as effective as it is affordable and it saves you time on having to make regular visits to a therapist's office. It is also very safe to use since it is a completely natural process that poses no threat of negative side effects.

Although, popular fiction has often portrayed hypnosis as a technique for controlling people's minds, the truth could not be any farther from that. Hypnosis is a guide that can help you to enter a deep meditative state that we all enter on a daily basis right before we fall asleep. This state is safe and you can never get stuck in it, you will remain in full control of your senses for the entire duration of the process. The changes that you will make, depends on your choice; the album cannot make you do anything against your will or put you under mind control.

Self hypnosis will only work on you if you, yourself, are willing to take control of your anger. The album serves a very reliable support system that will reinforce your will to take charge of your thoughts and actions. It can help you through the use of subliminal messages that are meant to guide you towards regaining control of your emotions. If you choose to let these messages affect you, they can help you to gain a clearer perception that will aid you to be more calm and less impulsive.

Self-hypnosis is also one of the most time efficient forms of anger management therapy; playing the album only takes 30 minutes each day. It can be used anywhere that is most convenient for you which means you do not have to go out of your way just to fit it into your lifestyle. It is a highly effective and efficient system that is also very cheap, you will only need one album and one payment and you can use it for as long as you need help.

The anger management skills that you will be able to pick up through a hypnosis audio download will stick with you for a long time. They take shape at a very fundamental level and they become part of your very nature; this means that it will most likely stick with you for the rest of your life.

Want To Try Hypnosis For Free?

Download 3 powerful free hypnosis albums here and experience the benefits of hypnosis for yourself.

Or get started straight away with this unique anger management album!

Original article

Learning The Art of Being Tactful

What Is Tact?

A dictionary defines tact as "the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing." The word originally referred to touch. Just as sensitive fingers can perceive if something is sticky, soft, polished, hot, or hairy, so a tactful person can sense the feelings of other people and can discern how his words or actions affect them. But doing this is not just a skill; it involves a genuine desire to avoid hurting others.

When a person is overly concerned with the importance of his job, he can easily fail to recognize or care about the needs of those he deals with. He is much like the proverbial bus driver who was so concerned with arriving on time that he did not stop to pick up passengers.

My advice is don't let fame, prestige or status in life make you become tactless, but rather, strive to be kind to people, for we do not know how they really feel. We should always be alert to signs that reveal a person's feelings and respond with a kind word or act. How can you improve your skills in this regard?

Understanding the Feelings of Others

All that means is to perceive {or observe} people's feelings {it's all in the facial expression and body language} and discern how best to treat them kindly. Sometimes, words don't need to be spoken to understand someone else's true feelings/emotions. We can succeed in being tactful by observing how people feel and respond compassionately.

Show That You Understand

Tact is especially important when you have a complaint against someone. You can so easily hurt someone's dignity. Specific commendation is always appropriate first. Rather than criticize, concentrate on the problem. Explain how their actions affect you and exactly what you would like to see changed. Then be prepared to listen. Perhaps you have misunderstood that person.

People like to feel that you understand their viewpoint even if you do not agree with it. Thus when a person speaks of some problem, rather than offering a solution before hearing the matter out, a tactful way of showing that you understand is to repeat the problem or complaint in your own words. This is a kind way of showing that you understand.

Recognize What Not to Say

You want to tactfully arrange your words in a way that would put the person in a good mood... Only then will you be able to broach any delicate topic that you might want to discuss. Also what is also instructive to notice is omitting what's not necessary to say so as not to open up unnecessary wounds. Tact includes kindly recognizing what not to say.

Speech That Heals

Learning the art of tactful speech will help you to enjoy happy relations with others, even when someone has misunderstood your motives and is bitter and resentful. Try always to consider how your words will affect other people. Making the effort to be tactful will help you to experience the joy and happiness in what is like to have peaceful relationships.

Original article

Anger Triggers - How to Overcome Anger

Have you ever heard someone say "They made me angry"?

Children say this all the time, especially with they're siblings. They claim that they couldn't help getting angry that it was someone else's fault.

As adults many people do this as well. They give control of their emotions over to someone else so that not all of the blame falls on them. After all, who wants to be responsible for feelings like anger?

There's one simple truth though that so few people understand it's shocking.

NO ONE but YOU controls you. Every emotion, every action you take is the result of how you think. That's right it all starts in your mind.

For a moment imagine a bright spring morning. Birds are twittering outside, the sun's shining down, leaf buds dot the trees. Everything is perfect.

Now on this perfect spring day there's a man. He leaves the house not noticing the birds as he grumbles about all of the work he has to get done. His children cry out for hugs and kisses and he gives them with more than a hint of annoyance, warning his kids that if they aren't good for their mother he's going to spank their butts. Then he gets in the car and drives onto the highway. As with every morning the traffic comes to a near standstill, and this man begins swearing and banging on his steering wheel as his face turns red.

What if he'd made the decision to be happy that morning instead?

Being angry isn't fun for anyone and it effects everyone around you. Choosing to be happy becomes an exercise in self control and changing the way you think about things.

Everyone has triggers, things that happen around them set off these triggers putting you in a bad mood. If you can figure out what these triggers are you can change them. Now I'm not suggesting hypnosis or thousands of hours sitting on a rock contemplating life. Most of us don't have time for that kind of self reflection. What I'm suggesting is far easier.

The moment you start to feel angry, stop, look around and find what triggered that emotion. Then take a deep breath, suck the air all the way down to your navel and hold it there for a few seconds then release. As you release push the anger out with it. Let yourself relax. Focus on something that makes you happy. If your trigger was a person try to find one good thing about them, even if it's just their hair. Focus on that.

These triggers won't disappear overnight, but with each time you do this it becomes easier and slowly those triggers disappear.

Life isn't easy. But as you improve yourself things will fall into place. For the tips and steps you need to set you on the right path go to http://topselfhelpsecrets.com/

Original article

Can You Be a Positive Thinker?

In my anger management classes I tell my students "your thoughts have everything to do with your anger." When we attempt to identify thoughts that occurred before and during an anger aroused situation, we find this to be a challenge. I am often told, "I wasn't thinking." On the contrary, there is constant chatter going on in your head all day and especially before and during a situation that escalates into an angry outburst. And, it is important to work on becoming consciously aware of these thoughts in order to alter them and change your thought process from a negative to a positive thinker.

There are two types of thinkers: the optimist who sees things in a positive way and the pessimist who sees things in a negative way. People tend to be one or the other overall, however it is also possible to bounce from one to the other depending on the situation and/or person.

When something bad happens to a person, feelings and reactions to the situation should be expected. These reactions could easily distinguish the pessimist - who thinks negatively about the situation and the optimist - who sees that something good could come out from the experience. The situation and outcome could be the same for everyone but the reaction and the perception of the situation is what distinguishes the positive and negative thinker. This in turn influences our thoughts and feelings related to the situation and our response.

A good example on how difference in thinking could alter the outcome would be the "half empty, half full" scenario. When a pessimist sees the glass and declares "half empty" his perception would suggest that the glass is not useful anymore since half of the water is already gone.

On the other hand, an optimist would declare "half full" and would see different alternatives on using the remaining water. The pessimist would go on complaining about the half empty glass of water while the optimist sees an opportunity and even a challenge on how to use the half full glass of water.

There are several benefits to positive thinking, one of which is the ability to better cope with anger. Anger and negative thinking could always be related. When you always see the negative side of things, you easily get frustrated which could easily transform into anger if you are constantly being hounded by negative thoughts. Managing your anger with a negative outlook in life will never work. It might even do more damage since you will never achieve any positive results.

On the other hand, positive thinking could help you soothe your negative emotions. By thinking positively, you could still see hope even though things could get bad and even worst. Positive thinking could encourage you to do better since things will eventually work on your way as long as you work on it.

Poor management of anger will never lead to something good. But positive thinking is one of the key solutions for proper anger management. Always have a positive outlook in life so you do not end up constantly frustrated and angry.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437

Original article

Why All The ANGER?

Why are we so angry? Why does anger so often end in violence?

"Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry; for anger resteth in the bosom of fools."

Ecclesiastes 7:9.

A parent loses it when his infant is fussy and suffocates the child. A driver gets cut off in traffic and shoots the offender. A teenager resents being told "NO" and kills her parents. A student shoots teachers and fellow students. An employee doesn't receive a promotion, goes berserk and guns down his co-workers.

Babies cry, drivers make mistakes, teens get grounded, students receive bad grades, and employees miss out on promotion. This is nothing new. Individuals have dealt with crying babies, rebellious teens, bad drivers (of cars, carts, wagons, or chariots), failing grades, and unfair (or not) employers for thousands of years. In the past, most would try to bring their own behavior in line to deal with the problem.

Why, now, does it invoke such violent anger in so many people?

The Bible warns us to control our anger and says it leads to evil. "Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not thyself in any wise to do evil."

Certainly, we seem to exhibit out of control anger in recent years, at a spouse, at a child, at a parent, at the world.

Authorities cite isolation and depression as the probable cause of the increased level of anger. Perhaps, but I'm convinced there is a direct connection to our propensity to refuse to accept responsibility for our actions. Blaming someone else for our misfortunes may get us off the hook temporarily, but at the same time, it produces a seed of anger.

Why? We know who is responsible, although we don't like to admit it. We shy away from painful reality. A second incident occurs, we lay blame, and the little anger seed sprouts. After several incidents, the sprout is a heavy and burdensome shrub. "A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's wrath is heavier than them both." Proverbs27:3.

The heavier shrub crowds nearby seedlings (civility, understanding, compassion, forgiveness) and steals their food and light. Soon they wither and die and the shrub takes control. Its weight becomes unbearable. The only thought is immediate relief. Presto! A violent act toward the latest perceived offender and the pressure eases. But the shrub, though shot down to the ground, will sprout again, until we face the true villain-Hatred of Oneself.

A Christian can go to the Lord to vent his frustration and anger. He listens and He has the power to intervene. The Christian can leave the anger at the feet of Jesus and be relieved of his burden.

The unbeliever, in most cases, has no such pop-off valve and the trend toward "no absolutes" in our society leaves him floundering. Most do not go so far as to take someone's life, but their anger is obvious. Look at the faces around you at a sports event, in the work place, or at the malls. Consider the lack of courtesy in a waiting line or the rhetoric we hear on TV and radio talk shows.

My parents taught: "If you can't say something good about someone, say nothing at all." That adage seems to belong to a musty era of the past, as perhaps do I.

God's great commandment is to love the Lord with all your heart and soul and your neighbor as yourself. The key word is: yourself. You cannot love God, or your neighbor, until you learn to love yourself.

God made each of us in His image, He has a plan for each one and each one is precious in His sight.

Christian author, Arlene J. Warner, has worked as an executive secretary, taught in a Christian School, home schooled, and written children's stories. She is an active member of American Christian Romance Writers. She has published five books and is working on the sixth. Visit her website at: http://arlenejwarner.com/

Original article

How to Help Your Child Overcome Anger

Anger is something a child experiences very often, for anger stems from his frustration at not being able to express himself in a way an adult can. Children have a limited vocabulary and limited knowledge of emotions, and therefore most of the times when they are unable to express themselves; they turn towards anger to be able to vent and feel better. If your child is angry, it is normal, and with the right kind of guidance and support, you can help him get rid of his anger.

Talking always helps. Though your child may not be able to fully explain to you what it is that is upsetting him, you can slowly coax it out of him with the right questions. If your child is just a toddler who hasn't begun to talk yet but is throwing tantrums and displaying other signs of anger, watch him closely when he plays or interacts with other kids. The thing that is triggering his anger may turn out to be very simple; he may be having difficulty operating a toy, or other children might be pushing him or excluding him from games during playtime. Once you find out the reason, you can help your child come to terms with whatever problem he has been having. Help him learn that everything has a solution, and anger is not it. From a very early age, a child learns to understand what you are saying simply from your tone. Once you are aware of the root of your child's anger, you can console him in a soothing voice and tell him it's going to be okay. A child usually feels angry because of helplessness, and your reassurance is what will calm him down and help him feel less angry.

There may be a number of reasons why your child may feel angry. When this happens and he breaks things or tries to pull at his hair or bang his head, stop him. Tell him know that breaking things and hurting himself is not okay, but also let him know that it's okay to be angry, and tell him that even grownups experience anger. Let him know you understand his point of view, say things like "I know you lost your toy and it makes you angry, I would feel angry too. But it's not okay to hurt yourself or others." Once a child knows that what he is feeling is ordinary and nothing to be scared of, his frustration will ease. Often, the reason a child is angry is simply because things aren't making sense to him. Teach your child ways to safely let out his anger when he needs to, he can kick around a football till he feels less angry.

Angel Alvaro is an expert online author and a mother who is very close to her children. She loves to write about the various phases a child goes through while growing up, accounting her own experiences with her children.

http://www.facebook.com/angelalvaro88

Original article

Are We Aware of Our Anger?

One topic that is discussed more often than others in my anger management class is triggers. I am consistently teaching that being aware of your triggers is the first step to anger management. We usually discuss three areas in which triggers mainly exist: physical, feelings and thoughts. It is these areas we identify triggers and I cannot stress enough how important it is to be aware of your triggers, not just cognitively aware, but begin getting to know yourself as it relates to anger and everything that surrounds it.

Paying attention to our state of mind (thoughts and feelings) throughout the day is a helpful anger management technique. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions we learn to understand the patterns and energies that feed into our anger. Another useful time to do this is at two major transitions of our day: right after waking up and just before going to sleep. I give my students this tool to help become more aware.

When we wake up, we start our day, and how you begin sets the tone for the rest of your day. Before going to sleep is the end of your day so you can get an overall sense of how things went. Also, going to sleep is the beginning of your night's sleep, so how you make that transition will shape how your sleep goes.

When you first wake up in the morning, notice what you are experiencing. What are your very first thoughts and feelings of the day? If you can't identify anything or you can't bring it into focus, lay there for a moment until you can identify something (feelings, thoughts, mood, etc) and write it down. You don't need to be fancy with the writing. There's nothing to analyze or figure out, just pure observation. "I don't want to wake up; my life is too painful. I feel fantastic, and can't wait to get up and enjoy my day! I feel terrible. I feel so exhausted. My body aches, and I hate my life. I feel grateful just to be alive. I can't wait to get a cup of coffee. I feel completely terrified to face this day..." Whatever it is, notice as clearly and non-judgmentally as you can.

Then, do the same thing at night, just before you go to sleep. Notice your current thoughts and feelings and reflect on the day. For example; "I feel tired. I feel horrible. I feel so bad about getting pissed off at work today. I am so pleased about the way that meeting went this afternoon. I hate myself for yelling at my wife this morning. I feel numb, and I don't have any thoughts, it's all just sort of a haze. I had an amazing and great day today. I am exhausted and I really don't want to do this stupid exercise, I just want to go to sleep." Keep it simple, write it down, and let it go.

Doing this exercise will help you become more aware of what triggers your anger and help explain your mood throughout the day. When you find yourself getting angry, allow yourself time to think things through and ask yourself, "What is causing my anger at this moment?" "What is really going on with my thoughts and feelings?" Developing this awareness helps gain insight into ourselves and what triggers our anger. When we do this, we then allow ourselves more freedom to deal with our anger in more appropriate ways.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford M.S.
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437

Original article

Learning to Manage Your Anger Will Take Commitment

Rome was not built in a day".

This common quote is the building block for anyone who is trying to change a destructive habit or behavior in their life. At the beginning of each new year we vow to live our lives different, to make a change in how we treat ourselves or how we treat other people. It is important to remember that although a new year's resolution can motivate us into action it will take commitment to stay motivated.

Enough is enough.

Those of us who have learned negative ways to handle our emotions especially anger understand the damage we have caused throughout the years. When we survey the our lives we see a destructive path and are often filled with a mix of regret and determination.

In order for us to change our behavior we must be willing to be "in it" for the long haul. Some of us have spent decades behaving badly. In fact the actual structure of our brains have been programmed to act in aggressive and inpatient ways. Aggression is a learn skill an so is anger management.

Many clients who attend anger management classes note they see a difference in themselves often after the first class. They are encouraged by the revelation that change is possible. Unfortunately some clients quit before they can attain real and lasting sustained change.

Anger management is a process.

Learning to manage your anger is a process. There are no quick fixes. Most professionals recommend we take at least a series of ten anger management sessions to begin change. Most clients will need any where between twenty-six sessions and fifty-two sessions to get the change to stick.

In an anger management group you will learn how to manage your stress, adjust your expectations and communicate effectively but the number one determining factor in how much you change is how long you are willing to stay with your anger management program.

Remind yourself.

The fist step is to get started, but please realize that this is just the first step. When you feel your motivation waning remind yourself of why you made the commitment to change. Was is to save a relationship? Was it to keep your job? Was it for a better quality of life?

Create Accountability.

Tell someone about your commitment to change. When you tell others about your plans to change your behavior you create accountability. Let others help you stay motivated by including them in on your goals.

Reward yourself.

Be sure to give yourself credit for hanging in there. After each anger management class give yourself a positive affirmations. " I am changing." I am good person." You may want to treat yourself to a nice lunch or by a new outfit. If no one else acknowledges your effort your should.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Original article

Anger Management Courses for the Court

Anger management courses are usually taken at the order of the court system as a result of domestic violence or assault charges. Most often, it is men that are ordered into these classes, as they are the more aggressive sex. It is a beneficial course to take for men or women who have a lack of control over their temper.

Classes taken for this purpose focus on bringing back stability to an unstable temper. People can have bad tempers because of their genetics, their upbringing or a basic personality trait that is unique to them. They may have a mental disorder that makes it difficult to stay calm. They might also have an addiction to drugs or alcohol that they must work on at the same time. All of these are legitimate reasons to take a class like this.

These classes are designed to help people get through rough patches without losing control. They are taught to recognize what might trigger them to lose control and to avoid those situations. If they are addicted to alcohol or drugs, they will need to quit or any classes they take for their anger will be pointless. These classes are meant to teach the person they can love themselves and take care of themselves. They cannot be 'dependent' on alcohol or drugs and love themselves at the same time.

Group therapy is typically the format used for these classes. The person suffering is grouped together with others who have shared the same type of experiences. Qualified therapists are in charge of the sessions, leading and encouraging the group to open up and tell their stories.

After a discussion period, the therapist will usually have a period of lecturing where he or she will give advice to members of the group and help them build the kind of coping skills they can take with them out into the world. It is very important that the therapist give the members a chance to learn these skills so they can use them outside the group atmosphere.

The therapist will help members gradually come to realize how their behavior has affected their lives in negative ways. They may have lost a job, a spouse or ended up in jail because of their temper. During the course, they will learn to reign it in and control themselves.

They will have to pay for the class, even if the course is ordered by the court. Payment arrangements can sometimes be made if the person is not able to pay for all of it at once.

Generally, any court ordered anger management courses that a person must complete will last 6 to 12 weeks long.

Go here to learn more about anger management courses.

Dr. Joe James is a psychologist who is the developer of an online court ordered anger management class.

Original article

Anger Management Techniques: Why They're Important and How to Use Them

By exploring some anger management techniques you may be able to learn to master your temper. A therapist or counsellor could help you to recognize your trigger points so that you start to learn to take control.

Bereavement can sometimes result in angry feelings. You may want to blame someone for your loved one's death. If you have broken up with your partner, you may experience the same feelings of grief, sadness and anger.

Another reason for resentment building up could be sexual frustration. Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) may lead to extreme mood swings and angry outbursts, as could drug or alcohol withdrawal. Being hungry or in pain can also make some people lose their temper.

However, sometimes you could feel angry for trivial reasons. This could be anything from someone taking your parking space or your partner being late home. It is when these feelings escalate and explode in outbursts of rage that you need to ask for help.

These expressions of rage need not be violent. Some people find that their shouting or use of abusive language gets them into trouble. Others take their feelings of inadequacy out on someone more vulnerable than themselves, resulting in a case of bullying.

There are also physical signs that you need to be aware of. Stress hormones make you start to feel hot. Breathing becomes quick and shallow and the pulse rate increases. Excessive sweating could be another sign.

However, there are various techniques for you can try to use to help control yourself. First of all, try and relax and take a few deep breaths. Yoga is a great stress buster, and you could try and find out about classes in your area. Meditation is another great tool, as you learn to relax and focus on your breath, and not worry about the issues that are causing you to become stressed.

The tried and tested method of stopping and starting to count to ten may sound like a cliche, but it works. Exercise can release stress, even if it's just a brisk walk around the block. Relaxation and massage are very beneficial in relieving mental tension and pent up feelings.

Group therapy is also very good, as you will be able to share your experiences with others who have the same problem with their emotions. You can regain control of your life. Your therapist can go through other anger management techniques for you to practice and use to control yourself.

Get more information about effective anger management techniques that will help you to address challenges more effectively. When you take an anger management class, you can learn the simple steps that will help you to reduce stress and enjoy life.

Original article

Just What Sparks Your Anger and Some Tips to Control It

Among the first milestones in anger management classes is pinpointing precisely what your anger triggers are. This simply means analyzing your day-to-day life and check for particular conditions or features in people who may have you seeing red, sometimes on a fairly good day. As well as acknowledging you have anger management issues, knowing specifically what issues set you off are very important should you wish to discover ways to control yourself in certain situations.

Everybody is built differently, and this means no two people have similar anger management problems. No two individuals from anger management classes across the globe have the exact same responses to different triggers. That is why experts discourage persons from following other people's anger management plans in lieu of visiting classes by themselves. Even when a close friend of yours has overcome his troubles by having a certain technique or routine, there is no assurance a similar program will work for your needs. It is because you and your mate have completely different triggers and have absolutely different reactions to those triggers. To illustrate, say your friend loses his rag over loud people and would often become physical, resorting to hitting walls and tossing things. If he's now able to face the identical scenario without his temper getting the better of him as a result of anger management classes he or she attended, it still wouldn't be applicable for your needs. Possibly since you don't really loathe loud folks; instead, you are more annoyed by standing in queues and usually tend to yell at the top of your voice instead of getting violent. What you're looking for is a program that is definitely tailored for your specific issues and targets.

In most anger management classes, people are asked to divide their likely triggers into two classes; those he or she can control and those which are out of their control. A common example of a trigger that is within one's control is that if you happen to be perfectionist and you simply react negatively in case an assignment or undertaking isn't going as intended. Other triggers like traffic and disasters are outside of a person's control and must be controlled differently too.

The main reason why most anger management classes have tailored programs for each person enrolled is mainly because people have diverse goals. One person's goal could possibly be to funnel their anger in a more productive way, while someone else may want to learn acceptance that sometimes there are things they just can't control and it's no reason getting upset over them.

The way you manage your anger is dependent upon whatever you do when you're angry. People who usually get physical when they're mad undertake hobbies and interests like boxing, remodelling and hunting. By using these hobbies and interests, people are able to funnel their habits to be physical elsewhere and also be productive along the way. These individuals have too much stored energy that they release when they are upset. People that yell a lot take anger management classes to find out the way to manage themselves and communicate their viewpoints in a calmer way. You will find as many anger management plans as there are triggers, and discovering what triggers your anger now is certainly step one to managing it.

I help people find anger management classes in their local area and own http://angermanagementclasseshq.com/

Original article

Rescue Remedy for Crappy Days

Every now and again we all experience a really crappy day. One of those days where everything and everybody seem to have conspired against you and nothing goes right. Your car breaks down, your daughter has a temper tantrum, your spouse is upset, you forget your umbrella and get soaking wet in the rain and on and on it goes.

Every now and again you may even feel crappy for no apparent reason at all and that can be challenging. I have certainly experienced it and really questioned my feelings, because there were no external circumstances that could justify my unhappiness.

Right in the midst of one of these terrible days, you may wish to bury your head in the sand and reappear tomorrow; you worry though that tomorrow may be just as miserable.

Here is my tried and true remedy. This acknowledgement really works and it can even be fun:

1. The first step is to recognize "I am having a really crappy day, ta da!" Acknowledge the obvious: "I am feeling really crappy, I wish I could stick my head in the sand and be gone."

2. Then get curious about crappy. Where do you feel it in your body? What is this sensation like? Is it tense, heavy, painful? What kind of pain? Is it dull or sharp?

3. Stay with the sensation and continue to be curious about it. As you stay with this sensation, does the sensation change? If so, in what way? Is it moving to a different part of your body? Is it becoming more or less intense? Is the quality of the sensation changing (e.g. from dull to sharp)? Simply notice what you are experiencing right now and stay with it.

4. If you are still feeling crappy, imagine giving yourself a hug, as if you were taking care of a crying child. Wrap your arms around you and embrace yourself in this state of unhappiness. Remember that no matter how unhappy you feel right now, that this too shall pass.

5. Then look at your day with fresh eyes, what is the next task ahead? Give this task your full attention.

You may have to repeat these five steps a few times throughout your day. Every time you do your day will feel a little less crappy, just like a heavy dark cloud lifting and drifting away with the wind.

Julia James, CPCC, PCC, M.Sc. is a multi-lingual certified life coach, award-winning author and international speaker. She helps busy professionals around the world achieve balance in their lives through individual coaching and workshops. Author of the book, The Mini-Retreat Solution and the audio CD series, Guided Mini-Retreats for Busy People, she provides tools to manage stress effectively and to relax and re-energize quickly. Julia has been featured on Joy TV, CBC News, as well as in The Globe & Mail, Glow Magazine, BC Business Magazine and The Vancouver Observer. For more information visit: http://www.juliajames.ca/

Original article

People, Places, or Things Make Me Angry! A New Idea for Stress Management

DISCLAIMER: This article is only for people who truly want more happiness in their life, but seem to struggle with achieving that sometimes!

How many times are you going about your day, enjoying yourself. When all of a sudden... someone or something upsets you? Well you're not alone! Just look around at people as you go through your day and you'll notice many people are just cruising through life is a not so happy state.

So how does someone make you upset? There are lots of different ways... right? You get cut off in traffic, someone said something rude to you, or it's just the way someone looks at you. All of things can seem to get a reaction out of us, but how does really happen? At the same time people can seem to make us happy as well. It makes sense that if someone can make you mad, they can also make you happy.

We will start here. Have you ever had someone make you angry by something they said or did? But they happen to be a person who is a close friend who really cares about you, and upon seeing that you become upset, they want to help. If you can't forgive them, or least come off of the upset feeling this can't happen. They can try everything, apologizing, giving you a gift, a hug, etc. But you get to feel however you want to feel!

Now granted, when we have some pretty easy to know pre-set happiness triggers it's easy for people to see that. I love ice cream, so if someone brings me my favorite Ben and Jerry's flavor, it will probably give me a rise. But what if I'm on a diet, and the person bringing the gift is my best friend and knows I'm trying to get in shape and lose some weight? Then I might not react the same way. It depends how we see what has happened.

Objective reality and subjective reality are two very different things! Objective reality is what happened, and only what happened. The raw facts. So in my example, it would be... "my friend brought me Ben and Jerry's ice cream." That's all that happened. The subjective reality is what someone, or I, think about that happening. "I like that they brought me ice cream, because I like Ben and Jerry's." I get to decide whether it's good or bad. And like I stated before, most times I will like it.

So wait! If we get to decide, why do people get upset? After all, don't you want to be a happy person? And if you get to decide, why would you feel angry, upset, sad, or any other negative feeling?

Well wait just one dang second! What if my mother dies and I love her dearly? Of course I'm going to be upset... right?! Now remember, the objective reality is that your mother is no longer breathing. The subjective reality is you are upset because her longer breathing, doesn't go along with what you want. If you hated your mother, you might be happy that she is dead.

At this point, we are getting deeper. Really think about what I'm saying, let it sink in, and see if it rings true for you. If it doesn't, you won't offend me. If something rings true to you, take it with you. If not, don't listen to anything I'm saying.

So we get to decide what we feel! How cool is that. Now maybe you're saying... "OK, well that idea is all well and good, but I'm trying to be happy and it's not working! I feel like crap. I don't want to, but I do!" Why is that?

Your feelings tell the truth. Your mind will lie to you. Again, check this out for yourself. But be careful, that voice in your head may say... "This is ridiculous. This doesn't work. I want to be happy, but I feel like crap. It's not possible." Here in lies the problem!

Remember, in objective reality... something happens. Then, subjective reality is what you think about it. Objective first, then subjective. And it's your subjective thinking that will determine whether it's good or bad.

If you think that you want to be happy, but you feel sad, depressed, frustrated. Your body doesn't lie. What you feel is real, you feel it, you can't deny this. Well... you can try, but this is usually why people are so upset!

You do get to choose, but so much of what you do all the time, everyday, happens without you needing to be fully aware. Have you ever drove home from the grocery store, arrived at your house, and you don't really remember actually driving from point A to point B? Your body can do incredible things! Amazing habits that allow you to get so much done without having to think about every little function.

So if you feel something negative, this means you are thinking something negative to create that feeling!

What To Do With This Information:

Here are some exercises if you feel like you understand the concept, but want some thing to actually practice and help you feel better!

1. Check in with your body a few times a day to see how you feel. I'm talking about emotions. First start every few hours and just see. "How do I feel right now? Am I happy, am I sad, etc." Developing this inner awareness of how you really feel, separate from what you think you are is a good first step!

2. Once you are in touch with how you really feel, now you can start to see what is causing it. And by this, I mean what are you thinking to create the feeling? When something happens and you notice your emotional state changes, what ever just happened, look back at that situation. But this time, see it for what truly happened in an objective reference. This might be a little tricky at first. It's not good or bad, things just happen. Someone said, "You are stupid!" You get fired from your job. You lose your keys. All of these situations are random happenings, not good or bad. How you interpret it, what you think about it, is what will determine the feeling you have about the situation.

3. Once you get the hang of these two, now you can play around with it! When something happens and you get mad. But you notice it and you start to think about why that happened. Once you can see what you were thinking that caused that reaction, now you can change the thought. This will also change the reaction, the feeling you feel. The next time something "bad" happens, see if you can get creative and come up with some other alternative scenario that would cause that situation to be really good! Again, this can be really tricky at first, but with practice it will start to get better!

Hopefully this helps bring some light to how you feel and also gives you some simple tools to be more empowered in your day-to-day life!

As a student of life, health, and happiness, I've learned tools that seem to help my life. This article is just one piece of puzzle. Hopefully it helped you:) -Andy Techmeier

Original article

How to Deal With Angry Customers Without Losing Control

Some compare dealing with angry people with taking a lava bath. It can instantly throw you out of balance and totally ruin your day. Ancient wisdom traditions compare angry people to a house on fire. Problem is, if you are a guest, you will get burned too.

Fortunately, you can train yourself to handle any customer that you cross paths with. In order to handle upset people you must first arm yourself with a powerful mindset and a few anger management techniques. To start with, it is very beneficial to run all the possible scenarios in your head and practice different responses. This way when an actual situation arises, effectively dealing with angry customers becomes second nature. Here are a few tricks to get you going:

1. Wipe that smile (if you tend to have one). Sometimes a defensive mechanism can be smiling at a person who's angry at you. I used to do this automatically. Big mistake. Whatever you do, don't smile at them when they are angry! There's nothing more annoying to the customer than to see a smiling salesperson when they are angry.

2. First deal with the customer's feelings. Be genuine and avoid using standard scripted language like "I understand how you feel, let me see what I can do." Instead, put a bit of personality and compassion to throw them off and make them see that you genuinely care about their feelings, "Yikes, holy cow I don't what to say, this is embarrassing. (With your hand near your heart) - I'm so sorry we put you in this position."

3. Be angry with them.Yes you read this right. Hear them out and be on their side. When you match their voice tone and be angry with them (and not at them) they will subconsciously sense a friend and their frustration will ease. You will become an ally in their eyes and they may even leave the store happier than they could have expected.

4. Address the complaint by finding out what happened; allow them to tell their full story. "Can you tell me more how this happened?" Then LISTEN intensively. Look in the eyes and make sympathetic face expressions if you can. This will allow them to vent a bit more. Think about this from your own perspective, when you feel screwed at some store and find out later, you just have a storm of words to verbalize your feelings "when you get there." This builds huge internal tension and it is only released when you allow that customer to vent for a bit. Once they are calm go ahead and explain your own position as to what could have taken place.

5. Apologize profusely but firmly. Avoid sounding like a weakling as many angry types feed the feeling of having power "over" someone. Don't say "sorry" either, its way too overused. Say something "For what it's worth you, I truly apologize to put you through so much trouble. Honestly, we never meant for things to go this way. Let me see what I can do."

6. Solve their problem right away if you can or put a plan in action and set up a follow up in the near future.

In general, it is wise to not get emotional at the customer. If you weather out their emotional barrage of abusive words or complaints and remain calm they will leave embarrassed about their behavior and respect you even more. Think of a day you launched into a complaining mode and watched an awesome salesperson handle your emotional state in a calm and professional manner. Didn't you secretly leave with a great amount of admiration for that person when everything was said and done?

To conclude, perhaps the hardest but most effective way to deal with angry customers is to learn how to control your own anger. By knowing your own sources of anger, you will be able to relate more to others and be more compassionate. Most angry types are conditioned expect an angry response so when you respond with kindness their subconscious mind freaks out and sends a signal to them that something is wrong, "pay attention." Eventually they will succumb to a feeling of embarrassment for acting silly and their hearts will soften.

Ancient wisdom traditions advise us to follow the way of cultivating awareness and practice braking a pattern of automatic reaction to anger. Instead, you should take a moment and honestly examine why that person is angry at you. Buddha's words were: "By looking deeply you can uncover the causes that led to the person's anger. If you see that you bear responsibility for angering the person, you will accept that your own misconduct contributed to their anger and will not get angry in return. If you are without blame then you can try to see why that person has misunderstood you. Then you can find a way to help him understand your true intentions. This way you will avoid causing more suffering to yourself and the other person." Be well.

Tadas N. is an expert in anger and conflict resolution and writes a resourceful blog on modern anger management techniques. It's a bible for everyone who wants to conquer their disturbing emotions. Based on his own painful experiences in the past and special knowledge of neuro-science and ancient wisdom traditions, he mentors others on how to deal with angry people and improve the quality of their relationships. Visit his site today for more awesome tips and tricks.

Original article

Practicing Peace in Turmoil

I was at the Milwaukee County Jail with a group of meditators. Lee, a participant in the group, shared his dream about a dog that was on a long leash. The dog made the effort to get out of this situation by pulling on the leash but was limited by the strength of the rope. The dog was also surrounded by fences so it was impossible to go anywhere. The dog in the dream represented the faithful part of Lee who was waiting for him to let go of something old in his subconscious. How can Lee be free of the "feeling" of being tied to a leash and surrounded by fences after having been in prison for years? Is there a way to break the old feelings of confinement? Can he transform that old feeling into a new feeling of inner freedom thus becoming a new person? Will it create a new reality for him in his life?

Lee has been a faithful participant in the meditation group for almost a year. He has learned to pay attention to his feelings and has found new ways to respond to life. In the past if he became anger he said he used his fists to make his point. He no longer reacts in this way but still feels the necessity of being on the defensive if someone bothers him.

On this particular day the group was large consisting of fifteen so when I was speaking to one person the others would patiently pay attention. Then I heard two men's voices begin to rise, so I turned my head to see what was going on. Lee and another man were arguing and a negative picture had been drawn against Lee.

I looked into Lee's unhappy face and said you know how to respond to this situation. As effortlessly as a monk who has been meditating for years - he turned away from the angry man and put his hands together, closed his eyes and started breathing. For twenty minutes or so he stayed in this position just breathing in and out. The other man left when he could not get any reaction. When Lee opened his eyes and came back to the group, we were all smiling. You did it. You have released the dog from the leash. The fences have come down. Peace has been found in the moment!

We wonder about next time when a difficult situation comes up? Will he be able to find peace? Who knows? All we do know for sure is that meditation is a practice and that all we can do is practice. Practice in difficult situations and in easy situations so that we connect with life from the inside- out. What joy we find in this simple gift we give to ourselves. Practice brings that perfect peace to our lives!

A Way to Practice:

•Close your eyes.

•Listen to the quiet inside.

•Breathe slowly watching the breath leave your body.

•Breathe slowly watching the breath come back in.

•See if you can smile from the inside-out or put a half-smile on your lips.

•If a thought comes just notice the thought but do not become attached to it. Let it go as if it were a dry leaf falling off a tree into a river.

•Keep returning to your breath.

•If a feeling comes just say hello and then gently release it.

•Let the feeling pass in your consciousness. Later you may want to explore the feeling in more depth.

•Keep returning to your breath.

•Notice how good it feels to be calm and quiet.

•You can feel this way whenever you want.

•Even if you are not at peace just keep breathing. Stay with the discomfort and the breath.

•Know that you are being kind to yourself when you are peaceful.

•You can share this kindness with others.

Click here http://www.handlewithkindness.com/ for more information about the spiritual journey through meditation and dream work. The program Voices in a Box is a "kindness awareness" presentation with specific tools for use in the classroom as well as adult wellness classes. It is an AODA approved program in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The program supports people of all ages to find inner peace. The Shalom House is "A Quiet Place to Be" for individuals and groups to enjoy as well as where silent retreats, Art of Peace and a variety of other events. The Pain Buddy, a Playful Healer (therapeutic doll) is used as a tool so that people learn to handle feelings with kindness.

Original article

Anger Management Classes for Adult Caregivers

According to the United States Department of Human Services more than fifty million people provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year. As the baby boom population enters their senior years a large number of children and spouses find themselves in an unexpected position of caregiver and/or conservator.

The typical family caregiver is a 46-year-old woman who is caring for her widowed mother. She typically does not live in the home with her. She is married and employed. Approximately 60% of all family caregivers are women.

Stress of family care giving for persons with dementia or Alzheimer's has been shown to impact a person's immune system for up to three years after their care giving ends thus increasing their chances of developing a chronic illness themselves. The inability to manage stress has a direct correlation to the ability to handle extreme emotions that can lead to anger. Anger management classes are designed specifically for those who are struggling with stress and anger.

Family caregivers who provide care 40 or more hours weekly are even more likely than non-caregivers to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety and anger outbursts. If you are caring for a spouse the rate is six times higher; and for those caring for a parent the rate is twice as high. Financial strains also exist as Social Security benefits, Medicaid, Medicare and Medi-cal may not cover mounting hospice costs or the price of medication.

Many caregivers experience guilt as they may resent caring for their senior loved ones. This guilt is often expressed as irritability, isolation and sometimes aggression. The strain of caring for an aging family member can put a burden on the family as a whole. Spouses may feel neglected and sometime divorce ensues. Often times children begin to act out in school or at home in an effort to gain attention from their weary parent.

Learning effective communication, self-awareness, the ability to adjust expectations and stress management are productive tools for preventing anger outbursts.

In an open discussion anger management class specifically geared for caregivers participants learn tools to handle emotions of anger as well as meet allies to help deal with the pressures of life. Anger Management classes are often used as a respite for tired caregivers. Many caregivers are embarrassed to seek help but the best way to care for someone who needs help is to get help yourself.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437

Original article

Anger Management Classes Help Companies Improve Communication and the Bottom Line

The anger of an employee can threaten a company just as much as falling stocks. There are multiple ways to fix the employees bad attitude. The first thing to know is, everyone has a bad day and everyone has a life outside work. It's important to realize that the problems from every day life mixes with work frustrations. Being able to isolate these two parts of life is essential. Isolating these two parts of life will make sure the anger issues that occur in their private life doesn't seep its way into their professional life.

To help employees isolate, or segment, the anger they experience during their personal and professional lives, the best option may be anger management classes. These classes can be held on a weekly basis, or on a more fast track basis, that work by the hour or class.

Many companies decide to hire on-site trainers to teach the employers effective methods to help employee's deal with their anger. The main points that most anger management classes will cover include topics such as, how to deal with employees work related anger and personal stress. The classes will help employers show more empathy and life awareness toward their employees. When a boss or supervisor shows that they understand how an employees feel, and what they are going through, it can make all the difference in the employees attitude at work.

The anger management classes will offer solutions to corporate communication by letting the owners, bosses, and supervisors respond instead of react to their employees anger and other stress-filled situations. When angry employees start to get under the skin of their boss, it means the boss either needs to be more forceful with their subordinates or be more understanding with their problems.

Anger management courses will instruct the enrollees how to express their feelings effectively. The ability to make what you feel productive to resolving the situation is absolutely essential in controlling and directing anger. Anger management encourages the student to talk to themselves so that they understand their own thought processes. doing that will help reduce anger and increase self-control.

Some employees with anger issues don't respond well to group learning and management, no matter how effective it is. That's where online classes make things a bit easier. The online option teaches the same concepts, and does in an environment that is comfortable and friendly to the learner.

One major tool of controlling anger, is adjusting expectations to improve your patience. This will also help the participant learn how to let go of frustrations, allowing him or her to have a higher tolerance for others mistakes. One single saying gets many anger management sufferers from exploding, "what will be, will be." This simple thought process will allow the learner to try their best, but still be able to let go of any anger from losses or shortcomings.

One other tool that can be helpful for corporate communication, which can be harder to do than say, is the ability to retreat and walk away. When thinking about the high-powered world of corporate CEO's and Chairmen, walking away from an argument can be tough to do. But, by simply walking away and gathering your thoughts, the anger issues can be pushed aside, allowing for a clear train of thought. That time and clear idea path, may lead to a mutually productive and beneficial outcome, one which both sides can agree upon.

Employers have lots of choices for assistance, such as online anger classes for employees, or individual anger management classes, or scheduling consulting with an anger management expert

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

5 Tips to Be Angry in the Most Positive Way

Everyone has to be angry sometimes. In fact, it is important to be angry when it is needed otherwise things that are not supposed to happen will happen. Being angry that I am talking about here is being angry in a productive and positive way.

When a manager is not happy because let's say the sales team doesn't show a good performance, he needs to show them that he is unhappy and he has a right to be angry. In many cases, anger can be used to show authority. Unfortunately, the ways that most managers use to express their anger are sometimes less productive or even destructive. The question is how can we express our anger and still give positive impact to ourselves and others? How can a manager make the team want to work harder and avoid them feeling depressed or insulted?

Here are five tips according to Anthony Dio Martin, a certified hypnotherapist and a certified master of Neuro Linguistic Program (NLP) that you should remember before you lose your temper.

1 Think about the long-term impact

Many people lose opportunities because they can't control their temper. So before your anger explodes, take a few seconds and think! Make sure your action or words will not give worse impact in the future. You don't want to lose potential customers simply because they ask lots of questions and you're not happy with it. You don't want to lose a friend or receive poor performance assessment from your boss because of your uncontrolled words. So always take a few seconds, breath, control your mind.

2 Don't let your anger ruin your self-esteem

The second thing you should keep in mind is while you're angry you still have to keep your reputation. People may lose their respect in you because of your rage. Be careful with the words you use. Avoid swearing! Don't get yourself used to it. Your words are your behavior, your behavior becomes your habit, your habit becomes your character, and that is how people see you.

3 Don't let your anger harm other's esteem

If you think you can solve a problem by being furious at others, think again. Especially if you only point out people's mistake and make them look bad. Being rude and look down on them will only mirror you back. Things can also become more complicated when the people you are mad at, cannot accept your attitude.

4 Your anger should give positive impact

This is the hard part. When you are not satisfied with your employees' performance you have to show them you aren't happy but still have to motivate them to work harder. Instead of just showing you're furios, saying something like "You guys are the best sales team that I've worked with but I am completely unhappy. You know why? Because this sales report doesn't show your real ability. This is unacceptable. You just let our competitor take our potential customers, you are far better than that!" will be a great wake-up call! At the end you give them confidence and they will feel they owe you and will want to give their best.

5 When you're angry, give solution, not just an expression of your anger.

Sometimes people make mistakes because they don't know what to do or how to do things right. So being furious and not showing the solution will not improve the situation. Instead of just yelling and pointing out the mistakes, give the solution so it won't happen again. Explain in which way this mistake can be avoided and make sure the person who made the mistake understand so that it won't be repeated.

Keep in mind that there isn't any quick path to changing your reaction when deals with a situation. It takes a lot of practice and focus. So next time something wrong happens, take few seconds and think.

If you are looking for a great resource for your daily inspiration and motivation you can visit my blog at http://inspirationalquote-s.com/

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Parents Gain Good Communication Skills From Anger Management Classes

As a child grows, so does the parent. Some parents may experience in their child's behavior what's called Oppositional Defiant behavior. This will present itself in the form of constant anger and disrespect, particularly towards adults and those in authority. Knowing how to deal with this as soon as it it's recognized can be essential. One of the most useful tools parents can use to help children with anger issues is anger management. Anger management helps parents improve communication with their children and increases the chances of a successful life.

After a child grows out of their early years, they may still display completely uncooperative and even hostile behavior. This is a sign that some children need that extra bit of effort to help them communicate through that anger, especially if they are suffering from ODD, ADD, or ADHD. Another sign is when the anger and oppositional behavior interferes with their social and school life. This will be noticed by a lack of friends, poor teachers progress reports, and even fights in school and with friends.

Anger management classes are exceptionally helpful for parents who need to improve communication with children that have frequent tantrums, excessive arguing, and often likes to question the rules. Now, this may sound like most children, but in some circumstances it goes to an extreme that most parents don't know. This dual sword is another reason why it is a great idea for parents to put themselves, and their children, through anger management classes to help improve communication.

These classes will help parents, and even angry children, to express themselves without yelling and/or cussing when speaking. The lessons taught by anger management will walk you through the anger you have, to help you understand it better. The classes will address these issues in such a way, that you will learn about yourself and what causes you to get angry. By learning these simple truths about yourself, and your children, you will be able to communicate easier and more efficiently.

Anger classes will give the parent the extra tools they need to read the signs of their child's anger and help them come to a useful and productive end to that anger. There are several different methods that are taught. One of the most useful is the idea of using their anger to be creative and even succeed.

For most parents, the idea of taking anger control classes isn't so much not wanting to, but thinking they can't afford it. This just isn't true. Classes are affordable and can even be done by the hour. An anger management class explains the many different forms of, especially when considering the parents anger. Many parents will passive aggressive techniques to take out their frustrations about their child. These techniques can include the silent treatment, making them clean, or even holding grudges from past mistakes.

Anger management will improve the self-awareness, communication, and will help reduce these types of aggression. This will help calm the relationship, and open the mind to other types of release for your anger and your child's anger. The bottom-line is anger management helps parents improve communication with their kids and loved ones. Interestingly, Los Angeles, Sacramento, Las Vegas, San Diego, and Austin Texas lead the pack for the most sought out cities for anger management.

Even with anger classes for parents, and an extensive understanding of the child in question, some medication may still be necessary to help control your child's outbursts, but learning good coping skills is also an excellent way to aid in the overall health of yourself and your child. Parents can also consider even general parenting classes.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

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Anger Management Class: Learn to Address Your Rage

When should you consider taking an anger management class? Well, as life gets more stressful, you might find it difficult to navigate through it without losing your temper. In extreme cases, you might actual hurt someone if you can't control your anger. Even if your behavior doesn't become that bad.

Because courts are seeing more people lashing out in irritation, they are often requiring people to take one of these courses. However, you really don't have to wait for things to get that bad. You can also find such classes online or in your community and go on your own accord.

Most of these courses are done in small groups. Perhaps no more than a dozen students might be present, although many are even smaller. The course itself usually runs anywhere from six to eight weeks.

There is a lot of classroom instruction during the course. Much of it will focus on identifying when you are losing your temper, also called knowing your triggers. The other main area then focuses on tools you can use to diffuse your rage when you feel it rising.

One area that you'll cover is how external factors might be exacerbating your tendency to get angry. The teacher will help you understand the connection between alcohol or drug use and getting angry. It might also touch on how challenging family dynamics can contribute to your anger.

However, it is important to note that these courses are not therapy. If there is a significant underlying cause to your rage, it might be helpful to also find the right resource to help you deal with that. This class is designed to help you control how you express your negative emotions, not help resolve any underlying issues that might be causing it.

A good anger management class will also teach you very specific exercises and tools that you can use. For example, you will likely learn how to speak in more constructive ways, rather than responding emotionally. You will also probably learn how to use your breathing to help calm down.

One aspect that can vary greatly from one anger management class to another is how interactive they are. Some classes will be primarily a teacher instructing with a bit of role playing by students to help you learn to use the tools. In other classes, the students might be expected to share on a more personal level about their emotional challenges. When you are selecting an anger management class, you might want to understand what the student participation expectations are.

Go here to learn more about how an anger management class can help you.

Dr. Joe James is a psychologist who is the developer of several online anger management courses.

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Anger Control, Attached to Expectation

Are you always aware of what you present to others? Do you have a particular expectation when you protest or are you open to any outcome?

I recently had an experience where I complained and it was not received very well at all and in turn, the consequence was even worse.

Do you know how you feel when you are ready to purchase something that you have been wanting but you find a better price, a quicker deal or immediate delivery, so you choose something close to what you wanted even though it's not quite the same? Now suppose it's something that is very expensive (let's use a car for example) and you purchase a different kind because you could get it or half the price. It's not like you can get another one later. You saved a lot of money, but since you spent half of it on the first car, you don't have enough to purchase the one you originally wanted.

Basically, you're stuck with the car you bought. You decide you can live with it for the tradeoff you made. After the transaction is final, you begin to think about all the years you've been working and saving up to purchase that particular dream car you had in mind and now it doesn't look like you're going to get it anytime soon, if in this lifetime at all. You start to regret your decision. You may even become angry. What do you do?

Do you blame the salesperson for talking you into it?

Do you blame your job for not paying you enough money that you had to resort to buying something at half the price?

Do you blame your situation that you needed the car immediately so you chose one you could take home the same day instead of holding out for the one you really wanted?

Do you feel victimized by the bum deal you made on the car? Talked into it? Taken advantage of?

Do you replay the scenario complaining to the dealer and not getting anywhere over and over again in your mind?

Do you toss and turn so many times that you are fully aware that you are not going to be able to go back to sleep?

Does that make you feel helpless? You replay in your mind what you are going to do about it, yet you fear it's not going to do any good and you are still going to come out of it disappointed.

Do you get angrier? Are you so attached to your anger that you hang onto it for an unreasonable amount of time?

Compare this to the mother who agreed to granting temporary custody of your children to the father under mutual consent just to have it used against you later in court? The emotions would be much the same.

In my recent acquisition I could have work done to make my purchase functional that was included in the price. Although, the outcome was far from my original expectation to which I was attached.

After three weeks of agonizing and feeling sorry for myself, I realized the outcome was going to remain the same until I made some changes. I also realized that even though the purchase was less than satisfactory, I was angry because I felt helpless and victimized. I accepted the transaction and I chose the attitude afterward before I confronted the business.

I would like to share my lessons with you.

We create our own anger with our attitude about our thoughts.
We get nowhere fast by complaining with a critical and angry attitude.
The reason for our anger is deeper than what we are complaining about.
When we understand our helplessness is a state of mind, we take our power back.
We attract what we think about.
When we look at what we have as opposed to what we lack, we see an entirely different picture.
When we understand we received exactly what we asked for, we can appreciate what we have.
When we take responsibility for our decisions it's difficult to become angry at others.

I found peace with my decision and accept it as mine. Given this change in my attitude, I found peace rather than anger. I have since been able to conceive alternative options to consider. Maybe you can too.

Peace and Joy,
Mary

Mary's 20 years of experience in dealing with trauma dedicated her to become one of the leading experts in transforming pain to pleasure in women's lives. Mary is a loving mom and after the loss of custody of her own children, has created a company that stands as the voice for mothers who have lost custody of their children. Grab a copy of her free eBook, "8 Critical Steps to Transforming Your Life after Losing Custody!" at my website: http://marydirksen.com/

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Healing Our Own Emotional Pain to Stop Misery, Hurt and Anger

How do you react when somebody "pushes your buttons"? Most people will experience a feeling of discomfort or even pain when somebody else says or does something that they do not like. We tend to say that someone has hurt our feelings. Because the source of the feeling appears to come from outside ourselves, we then feel justified in blaming the other person for the way that we feel. But guess what? You and only you are responsible for your own negative feelings and emotions. And when you realise this, you no longer have to experience this pain response at all.

So why do we feel pain? Well, our subconscious mind stores all our experiences from throughout our life, both positive and negative. If the same experiences and thoughts are repeated often enough, they start to become habits (of both thought and reaction). This is how our beliefs develop. Our experiences, as a separate human being, lead us to believe that these things are happening to us. So when someone says or does something that we do not like, our subconscious mind searches its storehouse for any related experience. In the case of negative experiences that it recognises, it returns tension, pain, and negative thoughts and feelings that we have stored up based on previous events.

Generally when this happens the mind starts to race with negative thoughts and we become tense and feel uncomfortable. The author Eckhart Tolle describes the concept of the pain body. When intense negative emotions arise, if we give into our pain and the negative verbal dialogue of the mind, the pain body takes us over. We are then no longer in control of our reactions and our systematic habits of responding under similar circumstances rise to the surface.

When this occurs, we become insular and start to resist anyone that we see as causing us pain. We close down all outer connection and become incredibly attached to our own points of view. The chatterbox in our minds goes hyperactive with all the reasons why the other person is wrong or bad. This makes us totally unreceptive to others' opinions, unless they are prepared to share our misery. It closes us off from different ways of thinking and understanding. When we are on the defensive, our self is top of the priority list - only our own truth matters now.

We become so attached to our beliefs under these circumstances that we are convinced that we are right. In the midst of an emotional response we are in pain. We become like a child who wants to share their hurt with anyone who will listen and we try to infect other people with our distorted points of view. We lose our peace of mind, we will not listen, and we are prepared to defend our beliefs at any cost. And the more important a belief is to us, the more pain we will feel and the more we will shut ourselves down to others' points of view.

So how do we stop giving in to our subconscious reactions? Well it is difficult as they have been conditioned over many years. The first step is the recognition of what is happening and why. Many people are totally unaware of how they react under negative circumstances. It is only when you recognise the problem that you are able to deal with it effectively. You can then step back and let your own emotions subside before you deal with the situation at hand.

When you give yourself the time to calm down first, you can deal with issues in much more productive ways so that you stand a chance of resolving your problems with others. Of course, from your new found clarity may come some insight into your part in the cause of the problem. Then you will stop blaming others for how you feel. You see, it's your mind and you must take control of it. Then nobody can make you feel anything unless you allow it. With practice, your emotional reactions will begin to decrease and you will become a more balanced, mature individual whose experience of life is peace and harmony rather than emotional pain.

Are you suffering from emotional pain and unhappiness? If you could use a little help to feel your inner joy and to silence the negative voice in your head visit My Spiritual Self-Help Guide. Only when you take control of your mind will you find the peace and happiness you crave. I can also teach you more about mind control and the power of thought to help you change your world into a more positive experience.

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How to Not Overreact With Emotion

Counterfeit emotions. What are they and how do we tell the difference?

For starters, know what feels good. Not as in a 'high' that you come down from but one that stays no matter what is going on for you.

Becoming successful because you are angry and you seek revenge is counterfeit. Like anything fake, you will be exposed. You will become successful and possibly rich but because it was done for the wrong reasons, you will fall too. It will not last.

Inside you will feel miserable among other things like desperate, lonely, isolated and out of touch. If you don't feel that, you will. Realizing that anger you hang onto against someone else is not and will not serve you, ever. The person you are angry at has gone on with their life never to look back, while you live in constant torment.

Putting yourself through mental and physical torture to be 'right'. We all know, but may not really grasp, money does not make for happiness. Yes it helps, but if you aren't happy to begin with, what makes you think money is going to do it for you?

Because you have a ton of money and can buy things or people, is that true happiness? Isn't it a better option to realize happiness from a good place first? Once you are there, in that good place, you can always use the past anger as a motivator, but when it's part is played, leave it be.

If you are having a difficult time realizing the cause of the anger therefore having a hard time letting it go, hypnosis may be an option. Uncovering old hurts through this means is actually non invasive and brings with it clarity and tremendous healing. You remain relaxed in a safe environment and can express whatever comes up for you then and there. Then it is over.

You may process it for a day or two, maybe not, but either way, it won't matter, Your perception of past events will change for you forever and it will have no more pull on you.

Find the time in your life and feel what is right and what isn't. What are your motivations for doing certain things? Are they pure? Good things do not feel bad. Bad things do not feel good. Unless you have distorted thinking then your perception of things are off center. This could be the result of the circumstances around you. Surrounding yourself with negative situations and people will shatter your best intentions.Old programing may also be a cause in which case your subconscious mind thinks it is helping you by opening old files in your memory and reminding you of past experiences.

But you do have a choice. For starters, challenge the old thinking. Secondly, lose the negative friends and bad situations.

Trust in yourself to know what is good for you. If you are going against what you feel or what you know is best for you, you are exhibiting counterfeit emotions.

Imagine a counterfeit bill of money. It gets passed around, misleading everyone, robbing everyone whom it comes into contact with and eventually it is exposed. Once exposed it gets destroyed.

Your life is worth much more than that.

Suzanne Jones is a Certified Hypnotherapist and has a blog at http://pristineperception.com/. She blogs about her experiences in and the importance of perception, self trust and intuition. Most of her writings are based on factual events either experienced by herself or those around her. Suzanne believes that through someone else, your own truth may be realized. For a free Hypnosis relaxation audio or free Information guide on Hypnosis and Self Trust visit http://pristineperception.com/

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