Rome was not built in a day".
This common quote is the building block for anyone who is trying to change a destructive habit or behavior in their life. At the beginning of each new year we vow to live our lives different, to make a change in how we treat ourselves or how we treat other people. It is important to remember that although a new year's resolution can motivate us into action it will take commitment to stay motivated.
Enough is enough.
Those of us who have learned negative ways to handle our emotions especially anger understand the damage we have caused throughout the years. When we survey the our lives we see a destructive path and are often filled with a mix of regret and determination.
In order for us to change our behavior we must be willing to be "in it" for the long haul. Some of us have spent decades behaving badly. In fact the actual structure of our brains have been programmed to act in aggressive and inpatient ways. Aggression is a learn skill an so is anger management.
Many clients who attend anger management classes note they see a difference in themselves often after the first class. They are encouraged by the revelation that change is possible. Unfortunately some clients quit before they can attain real and lasting sustained change.
Anger management is a process.
Learning to manage your anger is a process. There are no quick fixes. Most professionals recommend we take at least a series of ten anger management sessions to begin change. Most clients will need any where between twenty-six sessions and fifty-two sessions to get the change to stick.
In an anger management group you will learn how to manage your stress, adjust your expectations and communicate effectively but the number one determining factor in how much you change is how long you are willing to stay with your anger management program.
Remind yourself.
The fist step is to get started, but please realize that this is just the first step. When you feel your motivation waning remind yourself of why you made the commitment to change. Was is to save a relationship? Was it to keep your job? Was it for a better quality of life?
Create Accountability.
Tell someone about your commitment to change. When you tell others about your plans to change your behavior you create accountability. Let others help you stay motivated by including them in on your goals.
Reward yourself.
Be sure to give yourself credit for hanging in there. After each anger management class give yourself a positive affirmations. " I am changing." I am good person." You may want to treat yourself to a nice lunch or by a new outfit. If no one else acknowledges your effort your should.
Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202
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