Some compare dealing with angry people with taking a lava bath. It can instantly throw you out of balance and totally ruin your day. Ancient wisdom traditions compare angry people to a house on fire. Problem is, if you are a guest, you will get burned too.
Fortunately, you can train yourself to handle any customer that you cross paths with. In order to handle upset people you must first arm yourself with a powerful mindset and a few anger management techniques. To start with, it is very beneficial to run all the possible scenarios in your head and practice different responses. This way when an actual situation arises, effectively dealing with angry customers becomes second nature. Here are a few tricks to get you going:
1. Wipe that smile (if you tend to have one). Sometimes a defensive mechanism can be smiling at a person who's angry at you. I used to do this automatically. Big mistake. Whatever you do, don't smile at them when they are angry! There's nothing more annoying to the customer than to see a smiling salesperson when they are angry.
2. First deal with the customer's feelings. Be genuine and avoid using standard scripted language like "I understand how you feel, let me see what I can do." Instead, put a bit of personality and compassion to throw them off and make them see that you genuinely care about their feelings, "Yikes, holy cow I don't what to say, this is embarrassing. (With your hand near your heart) - I'm so sorry we put you in this position."
3. Be angry with them.Yes you read this right. Hear them out and be on their side. When you match their voice tone and be angry with them (and not at them) they will subconsciously sense a friend and their frustration will ease. You will become an ally in their eyes and they may even leave the store happier than they could have expected.
4. Address the complaint by finding out what happened; allow them to tell their full story. "Can you tell me more how this happened?" Then LISTEN intensively. Look in the eyes and make sympathetic face expressions if you can. This will allow them to vent a bit more. Think about this from your own perspective, when you feel screwed at some store and find out later, you just have a storm of words to verbalize your feelings "when you get there." This builds huge internal tension and it is only released when you allow that customer to vent for a bit. Once they are calm go ahead and explain your own position as to what could have taken place.
5. Apologize profusely but firmly. Avoid sounding like a weakling as many angry types feed the feeling of having power "over" someone. Don't say "sorry" either, its way too overused. Say something "For what it's worth you, I truly apologize to put you through so much trouble. Honestly, we never meant for things to go this way. Let me see what I can do."
6. Solve their problem right away if you can or put a plan in action and set up a follow up in the near future.
In general, it is wise to not get emotional at the customer. If you weather out their emotional barrage of abusive words or complaints and remain calm they will leave embarrassed about their behavior and respect you even more. Think of a day you launched into a complaining mode and watched an awesome salesperson handle your emotional state in a calm and professional manner. Didn't you secretly leave with a great amount of admiration for that person when everything was said and done?
To conclude, perhaps the hardest but most effective way to deal with angry customers is to learn how to control your own anger. By knowing your own sources of anger, you will be able to relate more to others and be more compassionate. Most angry types are conditioned expect an angry response so when you respond with kindness their subconscious mind freaks out and sends a signal to them that something is wrong, "pay attention." Eventually they will succumb to a feeling of embarrassment for acting silly and their hearts will soften.
Ancient wisdom traditions advise us to follow the way of cultivating awareness and practice braking a pattern of automatic reaction to anger. Instead, you should take a moment and honestly examine why that person is angry at you. Buddha's words were: "By looking deeply you can uncover the causes that led to the person's anger. If you see that you bear responsibility for angering the person, you will accept that your own misconduct contributed to their anger and will not get angry in return. If you are without blame then you can try to see why that person has misunderstood you. Then you can find a way to help him understand your true intentions. This way you will avoid causing more suffering to yourself and the other person." Be well.
Tadas N. is an expert in anger and conflict resolution and writes a resourceful blog on modern anger management techniques. It's a bible for everyone who wants to conquer their disturbing emotions. Based on his own painful experiences in the past and special knowledge of neuro-science and ancient wisdom traditions, he mentors others on how to deal with angry people and improve the quality of their relationships. Visit his site today for more awesome tips and tricks.
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