What Is Tact?
A dictionary defines tact as "the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing." The word originally referred to touch. Just as sensitive fingers can perceive if something is sticky, soft, polished, hot, or hairy, so a tactful person can sense the feelings of other people and can discern how his words or actions affect them. But doing this is not just a skill; it involves a genuine desire to avoid hurting others.
When a person is overly concerned with the importance of his job, he can easily fail to recognize or care about the needs of those he deals with. He is much like the proverbial bus driver who was so concerned with arriving on time that he did not stop to pick up passengers.
My advice is don't let fame, prestige or status in life make you become tactless, but rather, strive to be kind to people, for we do not know how they really feel. We should always be alert to signs that reveal a person's feelings and respond with a kind word or act. How can you improve your skills in this regard?
Understanding the Feelings of Others
All that means is to perceive {or observe} people's feelings {it's all in the facial expression and body language} and discern how best to treat them kindly. Sometimes, words don't need to be spoken to understand someone else's true feelings/emotions. We can succeed in being tactful by observing how people feel and respond compassionately.
Show That You Understand
Tact is especially important when you have a complaint against someone. You can so easily hurt someone's dignity. Specific commendation is always appropriate first. Rather than criticize, concentrate on the problem. Explain how their actions affect you and exactly what you would like to see changed. Then be prepared to listen. Perhaps you have misunderstood that person.
People like to feel that you understand their viewpoint even if you do not agree with it. Thus when a person speaks of some problem, rather than offering a solution before hearing the matter out, a tactful way of showing that you understand is to repeat the problem or complaint in your own words. This is a kind way of showing that you understand.
Recognize What Not to Say
You want to tactfully arrange your words in a way that would put the person in a good mood... Only then will you be able to broach any delicate topic that you might want to discuss. Also what is also instructive to notice is omitting what's not necessary to say so as not to open up unnecessary wounds. Tact includes kindly recognizing what not to say.
Speech That Heals
Learning the art of tactful speech will help you to enjoy happy relations with others, even when someone has misunderstood your motives and is bitter and resentful. Try always to consider how your words will affect other people. Making the effort to be tactful will help you to experience the joy and happiness in what is like to have peaceful relationships.
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