Anger Management: Why It Seems to Be Coming More Commonplace

Anger management problems are becoming pandemic. In the world in which people live in today, there are increasingly large numbers of reasons for people to get angry. It seems often that the whole population of the world is becoming more egocentric and less caring about others. The good Samaritan of the Bible has become very rare. Everyone seems more enraged than ever before - which is for good reason, really - but people must sort out ways to deal with anger management.

Whether it is the morning commute becoming every more busy as increasing numbers of cars besiege the roads, or the fact that corporations force customers to buy into their own lingo and language and remove free choice, people's stress levels are rising. At some point, the mercury boils over and can explode. This occurs in the worst situations, with people's rage getting the better of them.

Often rage is unleashed on people who have very little to do with the underlying causes. They are simply the nearest person at the time; the straw that broke the camel's back. Human capacity to deal with anger in a positive manner has become stretched as the amount of stress a person undergoes in day to day life increases.

Because there are more reasons to be angry, so there is an increased need to manage and deal with this anger. People need anger management techniques that they can do out in their everyday lives to keep their rage in check, so that innocent people are not caught in the crossfire. There are several things people can do to stop themselves exploding in rage.

Breathing techniques are often the best way to keep people from being too angry. These work through a variety of distraction and instilling calmness to stop people from feeling too upset at the world and lashing out in a negative way. They encourage people to think and breathe, often counting to a number (ten is most popular) before acting or talking.

However, sometimes these are not sufficient to keep rage in check. There are times when something more is needed than simply self administering actions to stop being angry. A professional may be needed.

There are many anger management courses run by professionals across the nation. Some take small groups of people who feel they have been defined by their rage and try to help them keep it under control while others see people struggling with anger management problems one on one. In my opinion, this personalized approach is perhaps the best step towards effectively learning anger management.

Get more details and information about how you can learn to more effectively and easily address anger management triggers. Find the most comprehensive and complete anger management class to give you the tools you need today

Original article

Anger Problems in Your Child

Often, parents dismiss an angry retort or rebellious behavior, considering it to be just a "phase" that every child goes through. While it is true that a certain amount of frustration is experienced by toddlers and new teens, there's a fine line between what is normal and what is not. If anger problems are not diagnosed and treated early enough, they may take hold forever and render your child incapable of fully succeeding in life. Here's how to know if your child is just a normal kid being stubborn, or has real anger problems.

Communicate:

The reason why most parents are a little taken aback when they discover their child has anger issues is because of lack of communication. Often parents don't even know when the child is frustrated, let alone why. This is not due to neglect or lack of care, there is just a communication gap between parent and child that makes the child form walls and hide behind an angry face. If you have been noticing a lot of anger and tantrums, talk to your child. Do simple chores together and talk while you do them. Ask him about his day, his friends, and everything that is going on in his life. This way, if there is something that might be frustrating him; you might catch it before the problem intensifies and turns into an anger issue. If your child is just a toddler and has been acting aggressively, sit with him and talk while he plays or draws. This might give you a clue as to what he is angry about, for toddlers can be very expressive when playing.

Be cautious:

While a little tantrum or aggressive yelling is okay; breaking of things, violence, grades going downhill and harming oneself or other children is not. Know the difference between ordinary, temporary anger and harmful angry behavior. If you find that your child is a little angrier than usual and is being moody and not eating right, give him a little time to see if it's a phase. However, if there is a lot of screaming and breaking of things, banging of doors and complaints from school about angry fights, get your child some help. Try talking to him and let him know that you understand. Be patient, and if you find he needs professional help, get it for him.

Get help from a professional:

There is no shame in asking someone professional for help when your child's happiness is at stake. If your child appears to be starving or hurting himself in some manner, or is breaking things and yelling a lot, try to get him to consult a therapist for anger management. Most children are so frustrated and confused because of anger they can't seem to control, they will willingly get help when encouraged a little. The therapist will then patiently get to the root of the problem and work with them on their anger till they feel better.

Angel Alvaro is an expert online author and a mother who is very close to her children. She loves to write about the various phases a child goes through while growing up, accounting her own experiences with her children.

http://www.facebook.com/angelalvaro88

Original article

Find Anger Management Classes That Really Work

I've made many observations over the years as a licensed clinician and anger management instructor. I would estimate that I have seen thousands of anger management students over the last 9 years. I'll estimate that it's about 5000 clients that I have personally seen in my office either in a group setting or individually. I've had the unique opportunity to work with a broad range of clients all with varying backgrounds, education, life experience, religion, work experience, socio-economic levels, etc. I've also been able to utilize an approach that has allowed me to refine my skills and really hone in on what works.

Working in the field of anger management does come with it's challenges. Many approach anger as if it is something that should be removed, like an exorcism, while others just want to better control it through learning new skills. Anger is like any human emotion. It plays a powerful role in how we feel, think and behave. Anger should not be judged as either good or bad, but rather it is the behavior that results from feeling angry that may be judged. Anger is normal, and it is powerful. Anger can help us get through emergencies and it can trigger our brains to act quickly. Anger can also be dangerous because it often affects our ability for good judgement and impulse control. When we get too angry, there is a part of our brain called the amygdala which gets "high jacked". When this high-jacking occurs, we often say and do things we later regret.

The key in anger control is to learn how to keep our anger levels low enough so that we can think clearly and make good decisions. Part of keeping our anger levels lower is possessing the skills needed in order to do so. Skill enhancement is really what anger control classes are all about. We teach evidence based interventions that help clients better think, feel and behave. Students will learn skills such as assertive communication, stress management, forgiveness, empathy and emotional awareness, improving internal dialog and self-talk, expectation management, and staying calm in difficult situations.

Anger management classes are often a great first line intervention when seeking help for behavior problems that are damaging a relationship. Words are only meaningful if the behavior that follows is congruent with what is being said. Learning to skills in anger management will not only help improve relationships, but also make you feel better as a person too. If you think you don't have time for class, think again. These classes can also be taken as an Anger Class Online.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

The Golden Rule Shines Even in Traffic

Perhaps we have heard a variation on it, but this principle is a thread in every religion, spiritual teaching and current civilization.

Being alone in my car may make it easier for me to act and think on the selfish side since I am alone with few to observe my less than "golden" actions or words -maybe that's one reason this is the easiest place to forget. Few of us would act the same way in line at the grocery..

Do I REALLY want someone in a car nearby shouting ugly things at me, tailgating while waving their arms in disgust, or cutting me off with a "what's wrong with you, stupid" look as they go by? I really don't. In fact, when it happens TO me, my feelings are hurt and I am left feeling horrible for a while. Is that really what I am trying to do to the other person or am I just exploding with selfishness for the moment without thought to how it will affect the other person---Just do what I want!

SO when I start out to do these things, it sure does help if I remember to remind myself of this wonderful suggestion; that the thoughts and actions I practice will make my day and part of who I am for the days that follow.....AND that I am not the only important person on the planet..or even this stretch of road. Who knows what the next person is walking through or driving toward today?

I can leave my home at the exact same time and with the exact same amount of traffic on the road and have completely different feelings and reactions along the way. This reminds me that it is not the traffic, the construction, the way my husband, kids or cats behaved before I left home or even other people on the road that are of prime importance, but the condition of my spirit leading my emotions. Feelings come from the inside and not from outward circumstances.

Another gem that you have probably heard "It's not what happens to you, it's what you do with it". Another principle shared with me is "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us". Because this is a principle and not a guideline, it is not for me to edit to "sometimes" or "depending on the cause". Read literally, it also doesn't say that I am always at fault for things that happen or that others are ----simply that if I am disturbed by something ---the problem is in me.

How do I prepare for conditions I may know I am "driving" into or countermand my reaction to unpleasant circumstances as they occur?

In my car, it's as easy to dial back as it is to let my self-centered agenda get the best of me. For me, music really does soothe the savage beast! I use my mp3 player to help me "pause when agitated.." and have a mellow tunes playlist always ready to calm and even to redirect me to my source of emotional stability.

In daily life, my regular tools are my morning quiet time, my daily power nap and quick inventory at lunch, positive prayer and affirmations filed away over years of repetitive use, along with favorite feel good movies and books that point me on the road to (and many times back to) smiling gratitude.

I invite you to visit my website at http://www.courage2change.info/ to view additional articles and tons of resources for the sharing. Share your own experience by leaving a comment. While I love the process of sharing my own, gaining additional perspective and listening to others is one of the main goals of my writing.

Original article

Anger Management Techniques for a Peaceful Environmental Warrior

Repeal the Environmental Protection Agency that assures pure water and clean air, repeal the Obama reforms that regulate the banking industry, repeal the health care bill that is "too expensive" to take care of Americans who have the highest health care standards in the Western world but one of the lowest amount of population that actually has access to it. To add insult to the injury the current Speaker of the House shows up on national television and simply proclaims there is no climate change.

To someone that is a tad bit more oriented on the wellbeing of others this can appear entirely mad, out of touch with the big picture and a disgustingly ignorant. "Why?" you may ask yourself, "Why, would anyone be so arrogantly short sighted when experts advise that we have only 5 years to revamp our sources of energy or face consequences of epic proportions?" Personal initiatives like using multi-use bottles or bringing individual canvass tote to the store can feel like flatulating against the tornado trying to stop it. If it seems utterly hopeless to combat basic human ignorance then why go through the trouble; it's all going to hell anyways, isn't it?

Is Angry Action a Good Approach?

It's tough to not feel angry, discouraged and on a verge of quitting. However, when one seriously searches one's soul it becomes impossible to escape the thought of "What's the alternative?" Do we just forget about it all and become like those "other" people who could careless? Deep inside we know this is not the answer. Not now. Not when our voice needs to be heard the most.

The answer lays within in our heads and within our hearts but we must to begin by taking care of one "small" issue - our burning anger. This monster appears to dominate the American landscape nowadays. But is resentment a really beneficial answer? Not if you want a thoughtful and long lasting progress as opposed to a feckless struggle.

Edward Abbey, once said "Society is like a stew, If you don't stir it up every once in a while, then a layer of scum floats to the top." So it true that we are starving for meaningful change and anger inspire new action but does it ever lead to a sustained success? Hardly ever. At least not in the battle that we environmentally and socially cognizant types are up in the arms about.

Fact remains - anger is a horrible instrument to seek change. It estranges people, cheapens the cause one is fighting for and burns bridges which are down the road needed to bring the armed forces home. Most importantly, let's not forget we are fighting the adversary within. It's still "we the people," Americans, relatives and buddies with different point of views. Because of this, we owe it to ourselves to value every person in the fight, that we be respectful, wise, resilient, compassionate, and just.

The Most Productive Ways to Deal with Anger and Seek Solutions:

So, just how do we control our irritation and keep our proud chins up? Easy. We master a few useful anger management methods to adjust our mindsets and spring into action. Here are a few tips how to do it.

1. Remember that you are a living cell of this very earth. We tend to overlook that the environment is a living "organism." Every bit that we do as individuals does matter and in spite of how insignificant our actions might appear to be, our steps are part of the big web that produce tiny ripple effects.

2. Hit the trails and smell the nature! It's so easy to lose sight what we are really fighting when our noses are in a periodical or PC display screen 24/7. Visit the nature, tap into its tranquility, let it alkalize you and encourage you with its meekness.

3. Make a decision in your heart that you'd rather go down doing good then join the careless ones out of ignorance.

4. Start with make a difference in your own immediate area - work with an organization, inform your children and mates, devote some time to this!

5. Inspire action by leading by example. It's a well-known fact that a delicate "drip system" can be a far better way to irrigate a field than a massive one time flood. Write about the issues close your heart, request your congressman to take action, contact a local newspaper, whatever it takes.

6. Start or work with a community of like-minded folks. This is tremendously vital that you stimulate your mind with ideas from constructive, action minded people who "get it." Find a Meetup in your area and concentrate on a joint action.

Whatever direction you decide to go please don't do it from anger. Do it out of inspiration and boundless concern for other sentient beings. This is truly the finest way to seek a durable progress you would like to see. Much success!

Tadas N. is a mentor and an expert in anger and conflict resolution who writes a wonderfully resourceful blog about modern anger management techniques. It's a bible for everyone who wants to conquer their disturbing emotions. With his articles and special knowledge of neuro-science and ancient wisdom traditions, he has taught hundreds of people how to control anger and tremendously improve the quality of their lives. Visit his site today for more awesome tips and tricks.

Original article

Be A Winner Gaining The Fight Against Anger

Nowadays everyone seems to speak about this; every time they cross a person who has a bad day, the tendency is to tag them as "people with anger management problems". So, it seems like a new stuff, but how new is anger to the world?

The thing is that now, instead of kicking someone else's 'derrire' like on the old time, we just get into a program to help us overcome this attitude.

So what is anger and how does it manifest? Anger is a very common and destructive attitude that can basically focus on anything: people, animals, inanimate objects, etc. When we get angry, the tendency is to exaggerate the bad qualities of the 'offender, which makes us feel the pressing desire to hurt him/it.

We forget about the 'good old times' and build up a very negative image that makes us see all defaults and forget about the qualities. Though for many people this is just a temporary situation, all the damage created in that short period of time could, in some cases, have disastrous consequences for us and others. Have you ever been involved in a fight with your spouse where all that he/she says just has a tendency to irritate you more and more?

Notice then, when we are angry we built an imaginary castle around our mind, a filter that blocks good images and qualities, creating unrealistic faults and even non existing situations. So what, are we all mad? Absolutely not, we all go sooner or later through anger phases, it is a normal human emotion, the trick is learning how to control it, overtake it and how to prevent falling on the 'same old trick' of anger knowing that it is extremely destructive. And yes, you do have the right to be angry; but anger should not take control over the situation and your life.

One of the main causes of problems that destroy many couples is the lack of use of anger management techniques. Sharing our lives with that special person, puts us in a situation where we have to live in close contact with them; share our time, friends, home, secrets, habits, etc... In times we can guess (and them too), with an incredible precision their shortcomings and even anticipate certain situations. When we live in a close relationship, it also brings more opportunities for disagreements to arise, in this cases we must not only learn how to develop our love, but also our patience if we do not want the relationship to head for failure. Why waiting for a 'better time to tell him/her how I feel'? Perhaps it will come out wrong the day you say something, just because you held yourself for too long and anger takes over.

Are those happy moments becoming fewer and fewer, have they been replaced by never ending discussions? or, are you the kind of person that keeps all that anger inside waiting 'for the right time' to pour it all out?

In a way, you could be like a sleeping volcano, nevertheless very dangerous. Have you replaced in your mind those happy times by: 'he/she is a pain in the back' phrase?

Anger only steals from you the possibility of internal peace, joy, fulfillment, good sense; it could jeopardize your job/relationships, and much, much more. Are you ready for that?

There are several techniques that we use with clients dealing with anger management in our practice; I hope they will be to you as useful as they are for them:
Identify whatever triggers your anger. I have heard things like: the tone of voice when asked to do so and so, impoliteness, speaking to them while on the phone, lies, forgetting stuff, etc.

Recognize that as you make mistakes, others can make them too. Patiently show them the right way, or the way you prefer things to be done.

Acknowledge your anger taking over you, and replace it by positive behaviors. You will be surprised with the amount of patience and peace you will develop. Practice makes the master, practice, practice and practice.

Acknowledge that you cannot change or get rid of people that could eventually enrage you, but can definitely learn how to control your emotions.

Using relaxation techniques; such as: breathing, using soothing mental phrases to help you relax, changing or replacing mental picture of the problem, among others.

Instead of looking for a solution to the problem that makes you so angry and frustrated, work on a positive plan to face it or handle it.

These, among many others, are some of the options we could use to manage anger. It is important to know that anger cannot be completely eliminated (and it is also not advisable to do so), but you can certainly learn how to take control over it and become a more assertive and happy person.

If you feel that you probably need help to regain control of your life, if you have the impression that managing anger is something you cannot do on your own; do not hesitate and get in touch with someone who could help you develop techniques for changing that negative and damaging behavior.

Yuri Ferrer

Original article

Five Ways to Handle Your Anger

At the start of almost all online anger management classes, trainers reassure their students that anger is truly a normal reaction to particular scenarios and it is in no way a bad thing. The only issue with anger, however, is that if you can't deal with it, and you could end up doing things you'll regret afterwards. When you're angry, you could say and do stuff that hurt other people and often even yourself.

If you discover this is the case, then don't feel there's no way out. There are lots of resources in existence to aid you to manage your anger, but here I will discuss five ways to assist you now:

- Breathe - This method could seem basic for your needs, however, if you've ever been in an anger management class, you'd realise that this really is a vital drill that they teach to individuals. Concentrating on your breathing doesn't just help you clear your thinking and de-stresses you, but the regular supply air helps your heart to slow. As soon as heart slows down, it's tricking the brain into thinking that the anger response has gone, and adrenaline will cease going into your body.

- Get away from the cause - If you feel that you're likely to go nuts in anger soon, it's much better that you walk away than blow your top immediately. If you're involved in a conflict with an individual or you are getting extremely annoyed in public areas, it's not cowardice or insensitivity if you decide to escape. It is the lesser of two evils, in comparison to losing your cool and going too far. The reason many people enrol in online anger management classes can be so they may have a safe place to visit. If they're having troubles in the home, they are able to just lock themselves in their room, go to the web page, where they'll find relief and support in a few clicks.

- Improve your surroundings - A few people don't have a serious issue with anger management; their only dilemma is that they're in a situation that is very conducive to anger. It might be a competitive workplace or a struggling marriage; whatever it is, the only remedy is to separate yourself from that portion of your life and alter your environment. Many individuals, with coaching from their anger management therapist, quit their jobs or leave their relationships, and after doing this realize they don't have a problem with anger any more. Identify certain situations where you instantly get angry, and if you see a repeating pattern, escape the cycle by either getting rid of the situation or finding a way around it.

- Counting really works - Counting from one to ten could also seem cliché, but it's an additional technique that is presented at any online anger management class you attend. If you count to ten, make sure you clear your thoughts; do not think of what you intend to do or say once you get to ten. The slow rhythm of your counting also helps you to calm you down and distracts your brain and body from the source of your frustration. The breathing and counting workouts are more beneficial when done together.

- Learn to acknowledge when it turns into an issue - Everyone has had an anger management problem at one time in their lives, but when these issues become more and more frequent, then it's the perfect time to acknowledge you've got a problem and you need help.

A lot of anger management strategies are only used as a last measure to help keep you from exploding in fury when you find yourself faced with an anger trigger. However, a sensible way to get rid of anger in the long run is to subscribe to online anger management classes not only to learn how to avoid losing your cool, but for more information on why specific situations cause you to flare up. The overall target of classes such as these is to assist you to understand your anger in order that at some point you won't have to utilize anger control strategies as they don't trigger your anger anymore.

I help people find anger management classes in their local area and own http://angermanagementclasseshq.com/

Original article

7 Techniques for Getting Your Anger Management Under Control

Anger is a common emotion in everyone. It is considered to be both natural and healthy to express your anger when you feel it. However, you should be able to do this in a controlled and rational manner. Expressing anger is not permission to rage constantly, as this is not healthy. Likewise, bottling anger up can cause major outbursts down that line that can even be physical so it is another major no-no.

In this article we shall look at 7 anger control techniques that really work. All of these techniques are recommended and advised by various professionals. However, if your anger is major and frequent, we still highly recommend you seek a face to face consultation with a professional. Anger is no laughing matter and can end up destroying you as well as your relationships. The tips given are in no specific order. Master as many as you can and find which ones work the best for you. Interestingly, Florida anger management takes the prize for the most requests for the month of December.

Learn to relax - This one is quite simple really. When someone does something that irritates you and makes you angry stop for a second before responding. Take some deep breaths and focus on them. If it helps count down in your head. Try and remove the rage and become calm. With a little practice you will find it easy to keep calm in all situations.

Visualize and plan your response - As already mentioned, you should express your anger in a calm manner. Once you have relaxed as mentioned in the first step, then you need to formulate a calm response explaining what has made you angry. The key is to make a response that is not over emotional but more explanatory of the exact cause.

Avoid accusations and blame - Avoid attempting to blame the person who has made you angry. This can lead to conflict and feedback which can create even more anger. Rather than saying "You caused this because..." instead say "I am angry because..."

Change the way you think - Rationalize. When you are angry, rather than having an emotional outburst, ask yourself logically, what is the cause of my anger? Logic is a great way to defeat anger. If you use your logic you can control your anger much better.

Communicate - If someone makes you angry, rather than jumping on them listen to what they have to say. They may have an issue too, which in your anger you are missing. Communication is vital to keeping your anger controlled.

Tell a joke - 'Break the ice' by telling a joke. A joke is a great way to change the mood. It doesn't mean that you are avoiding the issue. It just makes the issue easier to solve in a non-confrontational manner.

Have some "me" time - If you are finding the anger too much to take, then take a break. Go for a walk. Go somewhere and do something where you can be by yourself. Do not storm out, but politely excuse yourself. Don't brood, do something you enjoy.

By following these few tips you should be able to keep your anger under control. However, changing who we are is often quite difficult so seek the support of family and friends and if you are really uncertain or struggling do not hesitate to seek professional help either in an Anger Class Online or even a local anger management class.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Why People Bully

Can you imagine what it would be like to be a bully? To consciously go about picking on certain people whom you perceive as being weaker than you in one form or another? Can you imagine the sense of pleasure you'd get when you manage intimidate such people in your interactions, being able to make that person nervous, stressed, etc whenever you like? Yet at the same time, can you imagine often feeling deep feelings of envy towards some of these people?

If you find it hard imagine what it would be like than you are not alone. Most ordinary folk would find such a lifestyle alien to them. Fortunately most people aren't bullies and never have being (and likely never to be). Unfortunately not everyone is a decent person, in that they are bullies and if you could step into their minds, would see that secretly they do live similar to the one you tried to imagine.

So what is it that drives a person to become a bully? Unfortunately there are many different reasons but one core reason which I personally don't think holds any weight is the idea that bullies simply suffer from low self-esteem and so need compassion and help, not punishing. Now I don't know about you, but there have been times in my life when my esteem levels weren't particularly high, but never did I turn into a bully. Furthermore, I know a few people whose level of worth is quite low, but they certainly aren't bullies either.

So what are the reasons driving a person to be a bully? Well there are many reasons and theories for why people bully and naturally not all bullies are going to behave for the same reason. Yet the sum of all these reasons is that they as human are basically emotionally stunted. By emotionally stunted, I mean they lack any sort of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence is basically defined as the ability or capacity to perceive, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, and of others. So it is a low level if EQ which can make one end up as a bully. Research by the experts on Emotional Intelligence has shown that there is a correlation between levels of EQ and bullying.

So what causes one to have low EQ or to put it in layman terms be emotionally stunted? Well there are probably just as many reasons as why people bully, but the all the possible reasons would fall under two categories, Nature and Nurture. While some emotionally stunted people behave this way because they have being brought up that way (perhaps taught by parents or peers when a child that this behaviour gets you what you want) some are bullies due to their genetics.

Now don't get me wrong here, I am no ways advocating that there is a gene which makes a person become a bully. Rather nature has made the person so that they might have some sort of neurological problem which causes them to lack deeper understanding of emotions (especially in others) and as such, the possibility of acting like a bully becomes more accessible to them. Possible examples of such people may include narcissists and definitely sociopaths, whose brain images have shown, are neurologically wired differently to the rest of us.

Whatever the reasons for bullying, I believe that it shouldn't be tolerated and if the bully was conscious enough to know what they were doing, than they should be held accountable for their behaviour.

Alex Gadd

Author of Beat The Bully: A Guide To Dealing With Adult Bullying and also the creator of the accompanying site to the book http://www.beat-the-bully-book.com/

Original article

Couples Get Relief From Anger Management Clases

Anger is a natural human response to events in the environment. It occurs when something happens to an individual and they feel that is was not appropriate or acceptable. Naturally, people will respond to the situation in order to try to resolve it. Their emotional response is to be unhappy and not comfortable. There may also be physical or verbal responses to the issue.

Anger may cause fighting or arguing. This destroys relationships in many cases. People who are angry all of the time are not able to have a lot of decent relationships. Their feelings of hostility will separate them from others. They may tend to argue with anyone who is close to them. In some cases, they may cause physical harm to others when they are not happy. This can include fighting, yelling or other abusive behaviors.

Relationships function well when people are comfortable with each other. Angry people are rarely comfortable and are normally too hostile to be in a relationship. A relationship share connection where people have a sense that they are connected and relaxed. Married couples form this type of connection in order to manage finances, have romantic moments and raise children together. Families have relationships in order to be able to live together or complete tasks as a team.

If someone is having difficulty maintaining relationships, they may need anger management help. This type of program will help to cope with the feelings of anger. It will teach individuals to properly respond to others when they are irate. It is natural to be angry for humans but it is not OK to physically hard another simple because one feels upset. The correct responses can be learned in order to save relationships. It is possible to be angry and not to argue or cause harm to others. It is also possible to be enraged and resolve a situation without damaging a relationship. For many individuals, these responses need to be learned from taking anger classes. Many of the programs will help the individuals to know when they are angry and to understand how angry they are. Some individuals do not think clearly when they are upset. They tend to make impulse decisions that will destroy relationships and get them into trouble.

If you want to have good relationships that don't become destroyed, you need to control your anger. Make sure that you are not saying or doing things before you think. Seek help from a professional if you have difficulty keeping relationships with others through Online Anger Management or even a local anger management course. It is possible to learn the proper behaviors and control your anger. You will want others to feel comfortable and safe near you.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Personal Freedom Through Feeling and Releasing Emotions

Employers lose $200 billion a year due to stress-related ailments and 75-90 percent of employee visits to hospitals are stress-related, according to the National Institute of Health. What amazing statistics!

Why we are not attacking stress with the same vigor with which we have attacked drug addiction or drunk driving, I know not. After all, stress is one of the core factors that leads to dangerous behaviors in adults.

Most American adults are operating past their stress thresholds on a weekly basis. Driven to distraction to placate their suppressed and often intense feelings of anxiety and worry, they eat, smoke, drink, stare at the television, video game, etc...to temporarily remove themselves from unwanted feelings. What is interesting is that we obsess over our addictions but often do not look at the root. What is underneath the need for distraction?

Distractions are "state changers". They make us feel something different than what we were previously feeling. For people whose default state is anxiety...state changers are life savers, though they may not be healthy.

Knowledge is the first key to unraveling your stress spiral.

1. Identify when you move toward distractors; when your emotions are such that you choose to eat, drink, smoke, etc...to change your state. I am not talking about taking care of hunger or thirst. We're talking about neutral or negative behaviors we choose to make us "feel better", to move away from an uncomfortable emotion, thought or general state.

2. Notice Patterns in this behavior. Is it something you do everyday? After work? When you're with someone, or alone?

3. Work backward. When you recognize the distractor behaviors and then see the pattern, back up farther to identify what emotions you experienced that preceded the want to change your state.

4. Accept that suppressed emotions are key contributors to increased stress levels. There are many factors to stress, however, unexpressed, unacknowledged emotions are very powerful. The answer is not necessarily to blow your top whenever you feel upset or cry your eyes out when your boss is a jerk, as those behaviors will most likely make things worse.

5. Learn to feel your emotions fully by finding a place and time to sit calmly and have your emotion. You may think that if you engage it or surrender to it, that it will take over, but that is not the case. Most emotions just need to be fully felt. They are like the hot air in a small balloon, once you make a hole, it doesn't take much time for the hot air to be released. Most emotions take generally 3-15 minutes. This is one way to release emotion. There are numerous processes that I use in coaching. You can Google the subject "Emotional Release Process" and find many resources. I will be posting more here soon.

6. Never again suppress how you really feel. The energy of a suppressed emotion is like a fireball stuck in your body and can do a great deal of harm, directly and indirectly. Learn how to experience your feelings in safe ways. A "safe way" might be different for each person. Perhaps, you learn to sit with the emotion such as described by Tom Stone and demonstrated audibly here, perhaps you exercise it out, write it out, draw it out with the "Drawing out Process" by Emily Eldredge or do a round of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) as demonstrated by this video intro.

It doesn't matter what process you create or choose, it only matters that you learn some way to release the negative energy from your body. In the beginning it may feel unfamiliar and possibly even scary but once you learn to acknowledge what you have been suppressing, it gets easier and easier. Through personal and professional experience, I've also found that the negative emotions, when met, felt and released never seem to return with the same strength. What a relief that has been!

Once you stop suppressing your emotions, your stress experience drastically changes. The energy it takes to repress feelings (which is huge) is suddenly freed up and available for your mind, heart and body to more easily address what's happening in the moment. All of the sudden, you find you have extra energy and extra reserves. Now doesn't that sound good?

If you have any questions or would like coaching through any of these processes, I can be reached at hopetackaberry@gmail.com

Original article

Resentment - Weapon Against the Self

A young civil servant takes his young family "North" to the isolated Pilbara region of Australia to serve the community. Their travel plans are wrung with hope and they arrive esteemed in expectation. Soon, however, buoyancy makes way for bitterness...

What he finds up north does not gladden his heart at all - all the promises they listened to are realised, empty, in a harsh land of disappointment. That is his personal experience.

Apart from the detractive conditions of work, his home living conditions leave much to be desired. Not that his wife or children are bothered; they'd be perfectly happy if only he was. Yet, he's busy looking over the fence at the miner with a better house and year-round air-conditioning.

Our civil servant friend is seen recoiling in a rut of despair, but is too proud to admit the depressive episode that's burrowed its way into his psyche.

There is no joy in their home. What should be a place of solace for the kids after school, and a treasure trove of blessing for the parents, quickly becomes lifeless at its best and excruciating at its worst. This is all because of resentment; feelings of envy at the apparent unfairness of the system with which he's placed.

The saddest thing: this resentment is tearing away at the heart of the perpetrator, for anything that destroys the family by self-sabotage destroys, also, the saboteur.

WHAT UNDERLIES THIS SENSE OF RESENTMENT?

What may seem a maddening set of circumstances, even as felt by the one given to resentment, is easily explicable; perhaps not the specific issue, but enough of a clue to troubleshoot a way out of such resentment.

1. What has happened in this young man's formative experience that has him so much yearning for success? Whether he knows it or not, he has defined success, and when he fails to live up to it - worse by cause of others - he's livid. The way out of this problem is honest reflection; an honest journey to why, and an honest journey to acceptance for the way things are.

2. Even with a quick look around at the family dynamic an honest man can see the potential for marital conflict, bitterness, brokenness, and ultimately destruction. Why is there not empathy in his heart for his wife and children? They have no control over the circumstances that bother their husband and father. The family is always more important than the depths of the situation confronting us. Perhaps guilt pursues him and he vacillates between resentment and guilt.

3. There may be no way of changing the circumstance that confronts this young man. He, therefore, must challenge himself to adjust or to make the bold move to adjust the entire living situation - his family's happiness and overall safety depend on it. The wisdom of prayer is best enlisted before making any rash decisions.

4. Resentment, like a malignant cancer, eats at us from the inside out; we cannot see it happening except by the grating sense of frustration that fuels an unrequited anger. We fix the resentment or it will 'fix' us - and those results won't be pretty.

5. The vehicle that is resentment is taking us, and our loved ones, to a darker place than we in our right minds would desire. It is a weapon against ourselves, for when we hurt the ones we love we hurt no one, from a personal viewpoint, but ourselves.

***

There is a way out of resentment. First, we must reflect over what threatens us by the situation we're resentful over. Then, we must plan; making our way through to healing is a critical path. Finally, when we're all the way through that journey, perhaps years on, we take some humble satisfaction that we've learnt something.

Resentments hurt those we love and are, therefore, a boomerang back at us. Better to go into battle for ourselves in grace than against ourselves in resentment.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP[Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

Original article

Court Ordered Anger Management Explained

People who have been arraigned in court because of committing crimes that were provoked by anger are often directed by a judge or the person presiding over their case to take court ordered anger management classes as the path way to rehabilitation therapy. This process is indeed a crucial one in an individual's attempt at complete change or control of fury. What court ordered anger management classes do is teaching effective communication skills, stress management techniques and ways to increase emotional intelligence. These are normally offered as private confidential coaching or in small group settings, according to the participant's need. There are a few facts to note about this mode of lessons. Some of them are discussed below.

Law enforcement agents can take it upon themselves to complement the role of suppression as well as the judicial system that focuses majorly on consequences with an anger management class which is aimed at educating offenders who have been involved in crimes like assault, property damage or terrorist threats.

Hearings of many cases turn out to be highly emotional and as such, these programs are tailored to respond to the necessities of court mandated referrals, employee assistance, human resource managers, experts, mental health as well as substance abuse individuals, parents and spouses among others.

These classes seek to accommodate- assessment of issues, -filing of propping documents, addressing the mediator and mock interviews or hearings. These lessons turn out to be the most appropriate for people who want to adjust their behavior in their daily lives or those who are compelled by the authorities to do so.

The classes, if taken with a positive attitude, provide an avenue for people to learn strategies and techniques for managing their furry. An education on how to control themselves through practices like releasing of harmful or unwanted feelings and emotions is one of the objectives. Explaining workouts such as meditation, deep breathing and other means of relaxation are among the short term objectives. Nevertheless, aiding patients to find solace in constructive means to run through their issues connected to emotions is the prime objective of this venture.

Today, the courts and other bodies have given a go ahead to online anger management professionals to offer their expertise with regard to this issue. Their guiding principle is credibility and efficiency so that the work is within the time frame and the schedule of the law enforces.

Finally, it is important to not that a dedicated individual can win the sympathy of the law agents something which can trigger pardoning. Taking court ordered anger management classes is not only a determinant of the case proceedings, it can also be useful in skill building and be apart of educational and instructional process.

You can find details about the benefits of attending court ordered anger management classes and information about the best anger management course, now.

Original article

Venting Anger Is Just Like An Air Vent - The Hot Air Comes Out And Who Knows How Far It Spreads!

Popular 'anger management' experts, today, give advice on how to vent your anger.

I'm going against popular culture - it's NEVER GOOD to vent anger!

Anger is our physical attack. When you vent anger on someone or at someone, you are attacking them. Their response will be to defend themselves, using either 'fight or flight.' Attacking someone, just because you're in a snit, only injures relationships - it doesn't build them.

There is NO GOOD WAY to vent your anger. Get a grip. Your anger is the physical manifestation of your fears - and your preferred way of dealing with your fears is to attack. Basically, regardless of how you word it, when we vent anger at someone else, the underlying message is "You are responsible for my emotions."

I KNOW we've been taught to say things like "When you blah blah, I feel blah blah..." Do you see the blame here? We blame the other person with those words.

I often tell this little story when I'm giving my "Frogs have it easy...they can EAT what BUGS them" training.

"A little girl, only 5 years old, had a fierce temper. When any little thing when wrong, she would throw a world-class temper tantrum. She was visiting her grandma for a whole month, and on the second day, she threw one of her temper tantrums. When she was done her grandma handed her a bag of nails and a hammer and told her, "From now on, when you get angry, I want you to go to the fence over there and hammer nails into the fence until you have calmed down."

That day and the next, grandma heard that hammer almost all day, bang bang bang. Bang Bang Bang... After four days, she heard the hammer but a lot less. Bang........Bang........Bang........Bang.......

After only seven days her granddaughter came to her and said, "Grandma it worked! Every time I got angry this week I hammered nails into the fence. I felt a lot better when I was doing it, and now I hardly get angry at all!"

Her grandmother, very proud, said, "You've done very very well. NOW, whenever you get angry, I want you to pull nails out of the fence until you feel calm."

And so that was what her granddaughter did until there were no nails left in the fence and her granddaughter came running to her and exclaimed, "Grandma I pulled all the nails out of the fence and now I hardly get angry EVER!"

Her grandmother took her by the hand and they walked over to look a the fence and grandma said, "You've done very well. But look at the fence. It's just like our anger. When we get angry with someone and we tell them and show them, it's like we are hammering nails into them. And just like the fence, even if we pull the nails out again, and apologize for our anger and what we said, there will always be little holes. Our friendship with that person will never be the same. Just like the fence, anger changes a friendship forever."

There are so many ways to control your anger. The emotion that triggers anger is fear. The best, and maybe hardest, tactic to control your anger is to find the fear that is triggering your anger in that instant. Deal with the fear instead of avoiding the fear by attacking someone else.

95% of the time, when you are angry with someone, the fear is "you are fighting them for position in the pack." You want to prove that you are stronger, physically, emotionally, mentally, than they are. Let go of that need. You are who you are. They are who they are. Let others be themselves, have their reactions, have their opinions and judgements without you 'knowing better.' When you let go of 'knowing better' how they should act, think, feel - how they should 'BE' you'll find yourself calm so much more of the time.

It just takes practice.

It's far, far better to deal with your own anger, and get to the point where you control your anger as soon as it appears, which will eventually lead to you dealing with your fears that were causing your anger in the first place. At that point, you won't experience anger much at all.

Jeanette Kasper -- Your Anger UnTangler
Defuse (or Delete) difficult people in your life. Neutralize your anger. DON'T smack them upside the head! No more bodies buried under the copier!
Go to http://angerisnotanemotion.com/ for free reports and e-books, podcasts, video series, and webinars to pick up thousands of tips and strategies so you can live in your calm, always!

Original article

Do You Suffer From The Jekyll And Hyde Syndrome?

The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome, as I define it is when you become the exact person that you detest. Why does this happen? Because you have unresolved underlying anger. We live in a culture where anger is misunderstood and maligned. Anger is not a bad thing. But it has to be utilized responsibly!

Anger is a secondary emotion. Meaning it is an emotion that envelopes the underlying primary emotion like fear, sadness, unworthiness, disappointment, rejection, pain etc. Think of anger as a protective shield that guards your inner, more vulnerable emotions.

Because anger is misunderstood and it is often misused most people avoid their own anger. They refuse to let it come up. Often this means that they also refuse to address the underlying primary emotion.

When you fail to deal with your emotions fully and responsibly, you become subject to the Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome. The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome is a means by which you unconsciously try to deal with your anger and other unresolved emotions from your past.

Here are examples of the Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome in action:

• Your former partner cheated on you. You cheat on your new partner.

• Your parents were physically, verbally or emotionally violent with you as a child. You now engage in similar types of behavior as what was done to you.

• You can't stand people who exhibit victim-mentality yet you consistently blame others and abdicate personal responsibility for what happens in your life.

Note, there is no need to judge yourself if you are exhibiting these paradoxical behaviors. You simply have underlying anger that needs to be acknowledged and resolved in order to move forward consciously.

Here are some things you can do to resolve underlying anger so that you don't inadvertently switch from being Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde:

1. Set aside 15 minutes to reflect on your anger. Open this sacred time with the following affirmation I am completely safe and I now choose to acknowledge and release any negative emotions that are trapped inside me. Take a deep breath and set the intention to be free from your anger.

2. Think of a recent situation where you felt angry. Replay the situation in your mind however imagine that you are observing the situation from a birds-eye view.

3. Welcome your anger. Allow it to come up. Remind yourself that you are completely safe.

4. Ask yourself the following questions:

a. What did this situation remind me of?

b. What did I need from the individuals involved?

c. What was happening to the individuals involved that prevented them from being able to give me what I was seeking from them?

d. How did I show up in the moment? Was there anything I could have done differently?

5. Based on your responses to the previous questions, notice what's beneath your anger. What were the underlying more vulnerable emotions that your anger was trying to protect you from?

6. Send yourself what you were seeking from those involved in the situation.

7. Offer forgiveness to those involved by stating I forgive you for what you have done and I release this situation. Send them love.

8. Offer yourself forgiveness by stating I forgive myself for not being able to protect myself from the pain and hurt and I am free send yourself love.

Repeat this exercise as many times as necessary to completely work through your anger. Remember, healing happens in stages and layers. Consistently doing this exercise will help thwart the Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome. Don't be afraid of your anger. Deal with it responsibly!

Ann Thomas is a motivational speaker, author, certified life coach and founder of Evolving Goddess, a company devoted to teaching women around the world how to connect with their divinity and love and accept themselves unconditionally so that they can be happy, feel at peace, and create a magnificent life. Ann shows women how to take 100% personal responsibility for their lives, actions, and emotions, which becomes the catalyst for their personal empowerment. Ann specializes in helping high-achieving women who are self-critical or feel unfulfilled and like a failure despite their apparent success achieve sustainable happiness through the Radical Self-Love system she created.

For More Information Visit Here At Our Website: http://www.evolvinggoddess.com/

And About Ann Thomas - http://evolvinggoddess.com/about-ann

Original article

Dealing With Mood Swings

Don't you just wish that you can be in a good mood all the time? I do, and I'm sure you do too. Yet, we are still in this flesh that has emotions that go crazy sometimes. And then we have our monthly period and other hormonal changes that happen inside our bodies. Add to these the day-to-day pressures that we have to deal with. There are days when you can handle it better and days when you just feel like screaming.

Though we have all the reasons to justify our mood swings, I still wouldn't want to use anything as an excuse. I don't want to be going through something and say, "Oh, I'm just having my period so just bear with me". I've tried that and it made me feel worse. It just catered to my spoiled flesh and it didn't do anything glorifying for Jesus. Honestly, it just detached me from Him and the people I love.

I love what Jesus said in John 16:33, most especially the Amplified version.

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

This Scripture gives us the assurance that we can have perfect peace and confidence in Jesus. Really, where do our bad moods come from??? It comes from not having peace about something. When we are at peace, we feel good! Through Jesus we can have the confidence that we can be delivered from our roller coaster ride of emotions. But wait! There is another part to this Scripture. Jesus is saying that "in this world", which means "while we are still alive here on earth", we will have trials, tribulations, distress, and frustration. Being delivered from our mood swings does not mean that we won't experience frustration or whatever is causing this crazy emotional pendulum. It means that we can have "peace" in the midst of whatever we are going through. It means that we can have our periods or our hormonal changes without having to suffer from the effects of mood swings that go with it. "How?", you may ask. Again, Jesus gives us the answer from the same Scripture... Be of good cheer. I have deprived the world of its power to harm you and I have conquered it for you. Let me translate this in relation to our mood swings, ok? Be of good cheer. I have deprived these hormonal changes of its power to cause your mood swings. Whoa!

It is through Jesus... through total surrender to Him... through obedience of His Word... through remaining in His presence, that we can make this Scripture a reality in our lives. Jesus said it, and so it is true. However, for it to manifest in our lives, we have to act upon it. James 2:26 says... Faith apart from (its) works of obedience is also dead.

Let me now proceed with the "works" part. What should we do, on our part, to exercise faith in overcoming our mood swings?

Have a thankful attitude at all times.

Philippians 4:4, 6-7 says... Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say, Rejoice! Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Mood swings happen in the soulish realm - the heart and mind. This is where all the chaos happen. Having a thankful attitude, regardless of what we are going through, brings about the peace of God that guards our heart and mind.

Stay in God's presence.

We can remain in God's presence whatever we are doing. All we have to do is keep our gaze upon Him. I can be working and still remain in His presence by talking to Him quietly in my mind and telling Him that everything I am doing is for His glory. I can be talking to my husband and in my mind I am thanking God for Him.

When I am having a "not so good day" I normally tell Jesus, "I don't feel good but that doesn't matter. You are the same God yesterday, today, and forever". Then I start worshiping and praising Him even more. Honestly, when I am having some crazy emotions, I block it off by speaking in tongues or singing for the Lord. A little "giving in" to my thoughts and feelings can send me to that roller coaster ride.

Repent and be cleansed everyday.

Mood swings can trigger all other hidden resentments, anger, and hurt, making it spin out of control. If there is nothing hidden there, then there is nothing to be triggered, right? I am realizing this now more than ever. When I am not feeling so good, I could almost hear a tape recorder being played in my mind of what my husband said to me a week ago, or even a month ago, or even a year ago, that really hurt me. I have made that stupid mistake of entertaining those voices several times only for me to end up feeling worse over something that is already a thing of the past. But why were those voices there in the first place? Well, it's pretty obvious that I haven't released them to Jesus.

Now I am very careful. I've learned from my experience the hard way. If I get hurt over something, I run to Jesus and release it to Him. I immediately repent of anything I've thought of, entertained, or allowed to sink in my heart that is not of Him. Just the other day my husband said something to me that offended me. I got impatient with him and had these angry thoughts in my mind. And each time that happens, I feel so detached from him. Then I heard God's voice saying, "you better release that to me or you will be entertaining it again". Believe me, my flesh wanted to cling to what I was feeling but I took that step and released it to God. Then I repented and asked Him to cleanse me of whatever hurt or anger I was still feeling. Then I moved forward and acted as if nothing happened. Oh it is not easy but I am realizing how easier it is becoming because I am getting used to it. It also brings about so much peace, which is what we are all seeking for.

Submit your thoughts to Christ.

This is closely related to what I've just said. We are to release our thoughts to Christ, otherwise these thoughts will sink deep into our hearts and we will end up carrying all these negative feelings that can grow very big inside of us. How do we submit our thoughts to Christ?

[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One). 2Cor.10:5

Oh I love this verse! There are two parts here that teach us how to submit our thoughts to Christ. First, we are to refute, which means disprove or counter. I want to use the word "counter" more because this means we are not just going to disprove it but to present the truth as against the lie. So, we are to counter arguments, reasonings, and theories that are against the Word of God. Each time you are bombarded with thoughts that make you feel negative about someone or something, go to the Word and find a Scripture to counter that. Focus on that Scripture.

The second part is to lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ. I believe that "obedience of Christ" here also means "obedience to Christ". When we follow Jesus' obedience, then we are obeying Him. This clearly explains that after we disprove all the wrong thoughts that the enemy is throwing in our brain through the Word of God, we now have to take that negative thought captive by the Word. The Word of God takes precedence and control over any negative thought. There should be no "ifs" and "buts" anymore. The Word of God stands alone. This is what "obedience" is all about. We follow and submit to nothing else but the Word of God. This just shows that I can't use my PMS as an excuse anymore because it is not what the Word of God says.

Be persistent.

Our emotions are one of our biggest stumbling blocks. Though God created it for good, the enemy has used it to weigh us down. Emotions are a part of us... our human nature... our flesh, which is why it is not easy taming it or taking control of it. It takes seriousness on our part and constantly doing it over and over again, until it becomes second nature. Believe me, it becomes easier as you obey.

The next time you are having mood swings, go back to this article and meditate on the Scriptures that are here. Better yet, meditate on it now so you will be prepared.

Lisa Maki is the founder of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women whose mission is to is to provide a place where women can learn to manage their emotions, experience healing, receive love and acceptance, be free to be who God made them to be, and be the best they can be in their homes, schools, professions, relationships, and calling, through sharing of insights and experiences, counseling, prayer, and devotionals, thereby learning from and supporting each other.

For more of Lisa's articles, visit http://godzgurlz.com/

Original article

How To Manage Anger - Some Simple Techniques

Knowing how to manage anger is one of the many facets of being a parent. For no reason a child can fly into a fit of rage over something that seems of little importance to us. Anger is a response to a threat and other factors.

Certain chemicals - cortisol and adrenaline - automatically flood the system, the heart pumps faster and the arms and legs especially receive more blood so they can be used as physical defense. Problem is, the blood leaves the brain and angry people, as we have seen so many times, do not think straight. Cave man stuff yes, but a reflex action that isn't properly controlled can end with serious consequences - you only have to look at the prison system to find thousands of men and women who simply can't control their anger.

Knowing how to manage anger, especially in oneself, involves recognizing the onset of anger. Some people count to ten, some close their eyes, and some hold their breath. In other situations the angry person will drum their fingers, clam up, burst out crying or become hysterical or, at worst, lashes out and hits another person.

Aggressive acts do not relieve aggression, such as punching a wall, or a person. What does relieve the pressure is breathing. Some people go for a walk and this is how to manage anger - get away from the situation and take some exercise. Once your circulation is back to normal, you will start thinking straight. Yoga can be a great way to manage anger as it involves controlled breathing and meditation.

If you have a male child that becomes angry, anger in males is sometimes triggered by sadness, frustration or different reactions to certain situations. Where a woman might cry, a man could get angry - it's just a way to cover sadness - he can't help it, it's his hormones.

Children often get angry when they can't do something, if you can show him how to do it, or explain why he can't do it, or distract him completely, that's good. It's called defusing the situation. Unfortunately some of the angriest children and young adults have little or no guidance from parents, and consequently get into trouble because they can't control their anger.

If you feel that you want to know how to manage anger better, perhaps it is affecting your relationship, yoga classes may be able to help, or there are other places to go for assistance. It is something you can do yourself, and there are a number of self-help books on the subject.

If you only occasionally get angry, it is a necessary response to certain things. If your kid crashed your new car - you may get angry, it's probably justified, but most parents know just how far to take that anger before taking other action. They certainly don't start beating their children mercilessly. Children emulate what their parents do and violent and abusive parents do beget violent and abusive adults. The parent was the role model after all, and the child once grown, remembers that and has become programmed to act in the same manner. It is a good idea to learn how to manage anger at an early age and not express anger in front of children unless it is appropriate - like the crashed car.

To learn more about how to manage anger, as well as anger management for children, be sure to visit our website at AngerManagementForChildrenz.com.

Original article

Avoid Arguments During the Holidays by Learning Simple Anger Management Techniques

During the Holidays that's when family members come together. Relatives and friends you have not seen for so long, this is the time you see them again. Therefore this can bring old resentments and grievances that can often lead to anger. Many people find themselves time stressed with holiday preparations which even lowers coping ability. Others have come to dislike holidays because of the fights and disagreements which consequently result in anger and resentment. Anger is triggered by many things of which if you do not know how to control it, it will definitely continue to ruin a potentially relaxing holiday if you don't catch yourself. Therefore managing anger over your holiday you need to develop and apply the following skills which will help you have a different outcome.

If you want to manage anger over the holiday, be careful with the amount of alcohol you consume because excessive drinking contributes to conflict and aggression.
Manage your time carefully so that you do not over schedule yourself, in other wide plan ahead and set aside Specific days or time for each item to be done, and give more time to yourself.
You have to learn to be empathetic. Try to view the world from the shoes of other people and you will be shocked at how you anger dissipates.
Dealing with anger in the holidays you may need to adjust your expectations, keeping in the back of your mind that things can go different from how you have planed them. You have to adjust your expectations of family and friends remembering that you are only with them for a short time.
If you are to manage anger in your holiday, work on your forgiveness skills. You have to know that holding grudges against others hurts basically you. Let old resentments go and work on new and better relationships.
You can manage anger over the holiday through self-esteem. Boost you self-esteem and know your worth. This will help you to avoid indulging in unnecessary arguments and fights which would cause you to anger.
You have to learn to acknowledge your feelings. If something happens may be you are rejected or disappointed just know that it's normal to feel sad in such a situation. Its fine to cry since it also helps us to let go.
Managing anger over the holiday requires you to be realistic and more flexible. Things don't always go the same way they usually do. As family grows, changes have to take place and new traditions and rituals often come in. so control anger by being open to change and creating new ideas.

One thing you have to really do is to stick to your budget. Before you do any thing decide how much money you are to spend and hold to it. Excess spending will always cause disappointment and anger in your holiday.

Learn to practice relaxation skills. If any thing disappoints relax. You can do this by taking a deep breath, take a walk, listen to your favorite music or getting some exercise. By doing this you are restoring inner calmness.

Hold on to your health habits and don't let your holidays become a free for all. Indulging yourself in everything just because it's a holiday will eventually cause you to feel guilt and anger. Also you have to continue exercising and get plenty of sleep.

Managing anger over holidays requires you to learn to say no. Not every thing that your friends tell you to do you want it. They will understand if you don't participate in every activity. Saying yes when you should have said no would only lead to feelings of resentment and anger.

If your holiday is to be anger free, you need to develop a positive attitude. Looking at things with a good attitude will save you from a lot of anger. Appreciate people the way they are and learn to handle every one according to their unique personality traits. Managing anger over the holiday is not a joke. Anger is often a difficult emotion to manage over the holidays. As a gift to yourself or a loved one, consider anger management classes as an option. It could be the best holiday present decision you ever made.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes
Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Get Assistance for Workplace Violence and Anger Management

With the increase of financial stress in the economy, comes the increased possibility of violence and anger being expressed in the workplace. This certainly is a matter of serious concern to both management and employees alike. This problem can be seen in both an increase of violence from customers, and anger by employees expressed towards others in the workplace. For instance, according to US Bureau of Labor Statistics the leading cause of death of women in the workplace is homicide. 

In the USA, the employee has a legal right to a " threat free" workplace. Employers have legal responsibility to provide this work environment. So what can be done to keep peace in the workplace?

In the United States OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) has a whole series of articles to help employers set up policies and programs to promote a happy productive work environment. They suggest that employers have a written workplace violence prevention program in place and enforced by management. This plan would need to anticipate customer anger and violence and also that that may erupt between employees.

Customers who have anger issues are a problem in every work setting and certainly is a contingency that needs to be planned for. No matter what you do, some people are going try to pick quarrels with your staff. You need a firm plan in place to deal with this inevitable problem. Brainstorm with staff to come with solutions that are workable in your particular environment. Have set procedures to refer angry customers to Management as rapidly possible to prevent escalation of conflicts caused by emotionally "needy" customers.

As for employee anger expressed towards others int he workplace OSHA suggests a zero tolerance policy. One has no control over what customer comes in off the street, but employees in the internal environment can be informed of zero tolerance of angry outbursts in the workplace. This needs to be both modeled and enforced by management. Employees may come from backgrounds where they did not learn appropriate conflict resolution behaviors and need to see management demonstrate them on a consistent basis. They also need to be instructed in conflict resolution procedures considered appropriate for your work setting.

For both customer and employee anger management the employer needs to have a written plan for dealing with these issues as they inevitably arise. New employees should receive training in these policies and sign written agreements of adherence to these company procedures. Management should train employees in skills to handle angry customers and staff. The employee should feel comfortable seeking aid when an explosive out of control customer or employee is on the premises. Modes of mediating disagreements between employees at the lowest level of conflict should be in place and part of the normal day-to-day work environment. Certainly, it is best to resolve issues early before they fester until a moment of explosion.

For many more great suggestions on defusing and avoiding workplace violence and to getting help for employees, consider corporate anger management classes.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Original article

The Anger List

Do you want to make an anger list? Would you like to know what an anger list is? Want to know where to start? Right here.

Throughout this article, I will guide you through the steps of making your own anger list, and also show an example of what one of mine would look like. This is in an attempt to help you, and people just like to you to start identifying and eventually begin working through the anger in your lives.

Step one.

Go and grab yourself a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. Go do this now...

Ok back?

The next step is really simple. Start writing down things that make you angry. Anger can be said to range from slight annoyance, to full-blown rage. I know this can seem kind of overwhelming at first, so take your time and start small. Write down 5 things in your life right now that are causing you to feel anger.

Think about your relationships with others, or maybe your finances. Maybe your health or diet is causing you to feel some discomfort in your life. The thing with an anger list is that it can help no matter what the problem is.

Next step is to write down why you feel that this anger exists in your life. What do you think is causing the anger? This can be a bit tricky because the tendency here is to begin blaming or playing the victim of life. To begin releasing your anger and changing your life for the better, a crucial step is to take full responsibility for your emotions. Know that no one can make you feel bad without your permission, and that only you can change the way you feel.

Below is an example of one of my anger lists.

#1. I am angry that my relationship with my parents isn't where I would like it to be.

Potential Cause: I am not willing to let go of my expectations of them.

(Expectations of others are always unloving.)

#2. I am angry that I didn't get to go on vacation this year.

Potential Cause: I am not taking enough action in my everyday life towards this goal.

As you can see, I also have some things to work on, and it is definitely a process. Now that you have your anger list done with however many items are on it, the next step is beginning the process of letting the anger go.

Are you ready to start? Click HERE for a wonderful product to help you on your way. I personally believe that anyone can have a more fulfilling life if they just learn how. For more FREE information please visit my blog http://feelingsonlife.com/

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Anger Management: 3 Simple Tips to Get a Grip

Anger management is confusing to some people. Expressing your anger once in a while is perfectly normal. It is actually recognized as a healthy response developed by the body to cope with stressing situations. However, when your anger slowly becomes a habit, it then becomes destructive. If stress and your behavioral response to it is now destroying your personal life, then anger management offers the perfect solution for this problem.

Understanding how anger happens is actually very simple. It is viewed as an emotional and behavioral outburst that has varying intensity. Level of intensity usually ranges from a simple irritation to a devastating level of fury. The exact factors that trigger it also vary from person to person. But in general, internal and external situations primary affect an emotional outburst to happen.

An out of control fury may sound destructive, but in reality it can actually be controlled. If you are looking for some ways how, then here are some few practical advices to help you.

Learn how to leave a stressful situation: The most appropriate approach for you to take when you are currently facing this urge to go emotionally all out is to walk away as fast as possible and take a breather. Never mind what other people who you are with you will think or say. It is better than you going berserk. When a situation starts to tick you off, and you are about to go beyond your limit of patience, stop for a second; walk away as fast as you can, look for a place where there is adequate ventilation, and take a deep breathe. This will help release the stress that is building in your mind.

Number Counting: There is actually a fairly logical reason why number counting is applied by people when they are under stress. This technique offers an effective way to disrupt the concentration of the mind. To make this technique more effective, you can challenge your mind a little bit by doing the counting backwards. Just concentrate your thought on counting to allow your concentration mind cope up with the emotions that are building up inside you.

Trigger causes: Another effective way to manage your anger is by identifying what exactly causes you to get mad. Again, these triggers are greatly unique from person to person. They may differ but they are not that hard to identify. You can actually manage your behavioral problem much better with this as it offers you to become more prepared.

Anger management is never easy, but it is perfectly doable.

Get more details and information about how you can learn to more effectively and easily address anger management triggers. Find the most comprehensive and complete anger management class to give you the tools you need today.

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Anger Management Classes Help Couples and Families Through Tough Times

As couples and families spend more time with one another, there is a more likely chance that they will get on each other's nerves at some point or another. It's not uncommon for the unity of the couple or family to fall apart from simple, and most time unnecessary, anger.

It's not always a single thing that is upsetting you, or even the loved one you find yourself taking it out on. Many times it's because the couple or family don't know how to properly express that anger or disruption, and over time that causes them to lash out or explode at just the wrong time.

Why Use Anger Management for Families

One of the leading causes of anger is trained anger. This may sound strange but people are taught to be angry from a very early age. Anger often starts as a child taught from parents that are also angry. Over time the child will learn that it's okay to treat other people with anger. When a family has anger management issues and does nothing about it, it will teach the children that the anger is a normal part of life. When they see it between two people, such as their mother and father, they will begin to think that such anger is actually a normal part of having a healthy relationship.

Neither of that is true and all measures should be taken to ensure that your children don't get the idea that anger and constant arguing is normal. Anger management classes will show the family, including the children, the proper techniques to express and release their anger in a productive way.

Without this, the entire family may just fall deeper into a hole of anger that will eventually pour into their social lives and the children's school life. The result of that continuing fall into anger for the parents may lead to divorce or even abuse. That very anger at home may even lead the child to run away, being afraid of coming home to it all.

If a divorce is the result of the anger, it may even be an issue in the divorce proceedings. If, and when, it comes out in court that the couple argued insistently and the children showed effects of it in school and in other social activities, then the judge may require both parents to take anger management as well as parent classes.

Why Use Anger Management for Couples

Anger management online can also be a great tool for couples as well as families. Just because there aren't any children in the house doesn't mean the people around you aren't being affected by your constant arguments. The time for anger management classes come when you notice your friends starting to fade away.

You may notice them leaving when you get into a small spat, or just not being around period just to get away from the drama and anger that is around the two of you as a couple. People get tired of being around others that can't get along or at least know how to express themselves openly and honestly without a new fight breaking out.

If you don't want to chase away your friends, your girlfriend or boyfriend, or even teach your kids that treating people with anger is okay, then you should enroll yourself and significant others into an anger management class before you lose more than you ever thought possible to simple anger and frustration.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article

Be the Master of Your Anger Before It Gets the Best of You

It is often hard to control one's anger. We are constantly exposed to situations that can drive us up the wall so to speak. Getting angry is a perfectly natural reaction to a negative action, while expressing anger is the healthy thing to do. Pent up anger is considered to be unhealthy to say the least and can lead to serious anger outbursts, stress and even depression. On the other hand, being angry constantly is also not considered to be healthy.

If you are finding that your anger is beginning to define you as a person you should definitely take steps to counter this destructive path. Chronic anger damages your mental well being, your physical well being and the well being of people around you. Additionally, chronic anger issues can lead to more serious conditions such as depression.

People who are constantly angry tend to blame others frequently for issues that may or may not be their fault. This can lead to confrontations fuelling the anger even further. In such a case it is much better to avoid getting angry in the first place, as in the situation anger begets anger. Destruction of relationships is one of the serious consequences of this anger.

]Chronically angry people tend to be more biased. Research has shown that people who are angry are more likely to agree with a statement that provokes anger in contrast to a statement that provokes sadness. Undoubtedly, everyone is biased to some degree; however, most people like to retain some control of their bias. If you are constantly angry then you anger ends up controlling your opinions, altering the way you think and perceive statements and events.

We note again, that you should never suppress anger. This has been proven to have seriously harmful consequences. This has been demonstrated on an individual level, but even more notably on a societal level. Examples on societal levels where anger has built up and exploded include such events as the London, Paris and Los Angeles riots, and even the events during the 30's and 40's which led to violent outbursts towards Jews by Germans. It's worth noting that in all of these cases the anger has been focused either randomly or a perceived, but not necessary true cause. The same applies for individuals, who will find themselves having outbursts towards those who have done nothing to deserve it.

If you are angry constantly there are some various things you can do to help control your anger. These can include relaxation techniques, rationalisation and thinking before you speak. If your anger is severe we highly recommend you seek professional help. Chronic anger is no minor matter as it is highly destructive to both yourself and to everyone around you.

If you are someone who is frequently angry do not be afraid to seek help. A simple 12 hour anger management class would be a great start. It is better to take the humble approach and seek help, learning to control your own mind, than letting your anger control you. By going from someone who is frequently angry to someone who is in control you are making yourself a better person and others will respect you more for it.

Ari Novick, Ph.D. is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Dr. Novick is also an adjunct professor of psychology at Pepperdine University's Graduate School of Education and Psychology.

He is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a certified anger management provider for both adults and adolescents. Click here for more information on Anger Management Classes

Dr. Ari Novick is a psychotherapist who provides world class Anger Management Classes Online.

Original article