Everyone has to be angry sometimes. In fact, it is important to be angry when it is needed otherwise things that are not supposed to happen will happen. Being angry that I am talking about here is being angry in a productive and positive way.
When a manager is not happy because let's say the sales team doesn't show a good performance, he needs to show them that he is unhappy and he has a right to be angry. In many cases, anger can be used to show authority. Unfortunately, the ways that most managers use to express their anger are sometimes less productive or even destructive. The question is how can we express our anger and still give positive impact to ourselves and others? How can a manager make the team want to work harder and avoid them feeling depressed or insulted?
Here are five tips according to Anthony Dio Martin, a certified hypnotherapist and a certified master of Neuro Linguistic Program (NLP) that you should remember before you lose your temper.
1 Think about the long-term impact
Many people lose opportunities because they can't control their temper. So before your anger explodes, take a few seconds and think! Make sure your action or words will not give worse impact in the future. You don't want to lose potential customers simply because they ask lots of questions and you're not happy with it. You don't want to lose a friend or receive poor performance assessment from your boss because of your uncontrolled words. So always take a few seconds, breath, control your mind.
2 Don't let your anger ruin your self-esteem
The second thing you should keep in mind is while you're angry you still have to keep your reputation. People may lose their respect in you because of your rage. Be careful with the words you use. Avoid swearing! Don't get yourself used to it. Your words are your behavior, your behavior becomes your habit, your habit becomes your character, and that is how people see you.
3 Don't let your anger harm other's esteem
If you think you can solve a problem by being furious at others, think again. Especially if you only point out people's mistake and make them look bad. Being rude and look down on them will only mirror you back. Things can also become more complicated when the people you are mad at, cannot accept your attitude.
4 Your anger should give positive impact
This is the hard part. When you are not satisfied with your employees' performance you have to show them you aren't happy but still have to motivate them to work harder. Instead of just showing you're furios, saying something like "You guys are the best sales team that I've worked with but I am completely unhappy. You know why? Because this sales report doesn't show your real ability. This is unacceptable. You just let our competitor take our potential customers, you are far better than that!" will be a great wake-up call! At the end you give them confidence and they will feel they owe you and will want to give their best.
5 When you're angry, give solution, not just an expression of your anger.
Sometimes people make mistakes because they don't know what to do or how to do things right. So being furious and not showing the solution will not improve the situation. Instead of just yelling and pointing out the mistakes, give the solution so it won't happen again. Explain in which way this mistake can be avoided and make sure the person who made the mistake understand so that it won't be repeated.
Keep in mind that there isn't any quick path to changing your reaction when deals with a situation. It takes a lot of practice and focus. So next time something wrong happens, take few seconds and think.
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