Everyone deals with anger from time to time. Some people feel that we have the right to be angry if someone hurts us. Others would say that anger is always bad, so we should try to avoid it. Still others say that we should not waste time getting mad; instead we should just try to get even! As an experienced pastor, I tend to look at anger from a spiritual perspective. I have come to the conclusion that it is okay for Christians to get angry, but they should handle those feelings differently than non-Christians.
Regardless of our viewpoint on anger or the reason that we get angry, anger is something that every person has to learn how to deal with if we want a meaningful life.
Perhaps we should consider the teaching found in Proverbs 14:17 - "A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, and a man who schemes is hated." This verse reminds us that though we all lose our temper from time to time, some people seem to have a "short fuse." They are quick tempered. There are many factors that push some people to have less control over their temper than others. Perhaps they were abused as a child and they do not know how to deal with the anger they feel as a result. Perhaps they have a difficult home life and have not been taught how to deal with others in positive ways. Perhaps they have a chemical imbalance or some kind of mental illness. Regardless of the reason for a person being short tempered, their behavior is often viewed as foolish by others. They say and do things that make them look childish or immature. Therefore, we should strive to not to be quick-tempered.
We should also remember the wisdom found in Proverbs15:1 - "A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath." This verse reminds us that there will be many times in life in which we will have to deal with a person who is upset. This verse tells us to respond to such a person with a gentle answer. This can be hard to do when what we really want is to give them a piece of our mind. But if we give a gentle answer to a person who is angry, it often defuses the situation enough to have a real conversation with the person and actually resolve the issue instead of just having a screaming match with them. Though some people may think that offering a gentle answer to an angry person may make us appear weak, in reality, it gives us the power in the situation. It makes us appear to be the person in control. The person who is in control is often viewed by others as the person who is "right." Therefore, following the advice of this verse is very advantageous if we are in the midst of a disagreement with others.
A third verse we might want to consider is Ephesians 4:26-27 - "Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the Devil an opportunity." This verse recognizes that it is impossible to go through life without ever getting angry. But as Christians, we can learn to deal with our anger in healthy ways so our anger does not fester. This verse tells us to deal with our anger each day instead of letting it grow over a period of time. This is important because the longer an issue exists; the harder it becomes to resolve it. Sometimes a simple conversation can clear up a misunderstanding if it happens before too much drama erupts. But if a difficult conversation is put off, there are times that it becomes almost impossible to resolve. There are many healthy ways we can deal with anger, such as: take a walk, work out, listen to music, draw, write a poem, watch a funny TV show, talk to friend, pray. This verse also tells us not to give the Devil an opportunity. Because the Devil loves anger, if our lives are filled with anger, it gives the Devil many chances to impact our relationships in negative ways. If we give him a chance, he will cause serious trouble in our lives.
Though it is probably impossible to never get angry, we can use spiritual truth to help us deal with anger. We can recognize that if we have a short fuse, we must deal with the underlying issues in our lives that cause us to become angry so easily. When other people are mad at us and say harsh things to us, we should learn to respond in a gentle way so the situation does not escalate. As Christians, we should resolve our issues with other people as quickly as possible so that it does not fester in our minds and give the Devil an opportunity to interfere with our relationships. If we practice these ideas, we will be able to manage our anger in healthy ways and have better relationships with others.
Dr. Terry W. Dorsett is a graduate of both Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary and Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary. He serves with the North American Mission Board (SBC) as a church planting catalyst in New England.
His fresh and innovative speaking style makes him an excellent facilitator for conferences and seminars across the United States. He is a widely sought after speaker in local churches.
He is a frequent contributor to Baptist Press and is also the author of numerous books, including:
Developing Leadership Teams in the Bivocational Church
Bible Brain Teasers: Fun Adventures through the Bible
Creating Effective Partnerships: Strategies for Increasing Kingdom Impact
Malachi: Finding Hope in the Midst of Adversity
Mission Possible: Reaching the Next Generation through the Small Church
His blog is read by over 1,500 people a month and may be found at http://www.terrydorsett.com/
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