Anger is one of those emotions that everybody at some point will have to deal with but many people consider being angry as unhealthy. Whilst many psychologist and psychotherapists will debate this position the reality is consistent inner anger can lead to illness and our inability to deal with life on a day to day basis.
To help us learn how to deal with inner anger we need to look at anger as five interrelated dimensions, all operating simultaneously. These dimensions are:
- Our thoughts when we are angry
- The emotions that our anger arouses
- The ways we let others know that we are angry
- How we experience the world when we are angry
- How we act when we are angry
In reflection, look at it this way, what you think about affects your anger, anger influences how you feel; how you feel when you are angry influences how you communicate; how you communicate affects how you think; how you think affects how you behave.
All of these elements influences the way that you have to deal with this inner anger and they are all interrelated.
The reality is that often inner anger is cause by trigger thoughts. By understanding and identifying those trigger thoughts you can then develop a strategy on how to deal with your inner anger.
One of the first things you can do in helping yourself deal with inner anger is to keep a journal of the thoughts that led up to you feeling the way in which you do. If you are receiving professional help from a therapist then this journal will be invaluable in helping them provide specific assistance and advice with your challenges.
The easiest way to capture this information is to create a table with eight columns and list at the top of each column the following:
1.Enter the date and time you had angry thoughts
2.What was the thought you had that made you feel angry
3.Was this thought triggered internally or externally
4.What was your physical reaction to that thought
5.What are your thoughts now
6.How did you behave when you were having these thoughts
7.Between 1 and 100, with 100 being most angry what was your level of anger
8.Did you getting Angry Affect Others
Each time you are in a situation where you feel angry take a moment to jot down each of your feelings into your journal. Thing about each question at the top of each column and make sure you write down as much information as possible.
Once you have captured this information the key is to review and reflect on the collected information to identify what key thoughts or activities are making you angry. If you know the trigger you can then implement some key strategies to deal with this anger.
Some basic techniques you can use to help you manage your inner anger is to:
- Stop and take a deep breath and relax.
- Clear your mind. Empty It
- Always Stay calm. Do not engage with sarcasm or attacks.
- Take a time-out. Cool off, go for a walk and then come back and deal with it.
- Break it down. Anger often comes from lumping things together.
These techniques are very simple and do not deal with every possibility of inner anger. The reality is that if you have a serious anger management issue it is very important that you seek out professional help from a psychologist or therapist. The therapist will help you to develop a personalised plan to deal with your inner anger.
Chris Le Roy is the Managing Director of the One-on-One Professional Business Training Centre. Our company provides a regular anger management course that will help you to learn to manage your anger, you career and more. Our company also provides first aid courses to help ensure you have that qualification when you apply for your next job.
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