Recently, I have had several parents in my anger management classes. Although we cover various general topics as it relates to anger, many discussions have come up about how to deal with anger when it comes to your children. I have been told that managing ones anger that derives from your children is different than managing anger in other scenarios. Children (especially young ones) can bring the worse and best out of a parent and it definitely challenges ones anger management skills.
First, know that it is okay to get angry. Anger is a natural and healthy emotion that everyone possesses at some point or another. What is important is knowing how to channel your anger and understanding that anger does not have to control you. If you decide that something is worth getting upset about, you will get upset about it. You have more control over your emotions than you might think.
Every time you start to get upset or blow up about something, think about who might be watching you. Have you ever thought about the effects anger management issues may have on your children? Children watch their parents, and they learn everything that there is to know about how to handle life from them. If your kids see you screaming at drivers every morning on the way to drop them off at day care or school, or see you throw something out of anger, scream or have yelling matches with your husband or wife, think about what kind of example that may set for them.
Keep in mind that just because you don't know your children are watching you as you argue with their teacher or their other parent does not necessarily mean that they are not around. Children have a way of slipping in and out of small places, and hearing things they were never intended to hear. Do your best to always set an example for your kids on how to handle anger issues, not just when they are watching you but at all times.
Your job as a parent or caregiver is to grant children with all of the tools they need to be as successful as they possibly can be in life. This means that they need to know how to handle anger, and blowing up about every little thing that makes them mad is not something that should be learned by the adults in a child's life. Children are like sponges; they absorb and hold every little bit of information, and use it either for good or for bad. It is up to you to decide what they learn.
Setting a good example on how to handle anger is a challenging task, especially when children can push you to your limits. If you find yourself "losing it," yelling a lot, blowing up or being short with your children, an anger management class can help you deal with those issues and provide you the tools to set an excellent example for your children. get angry.
Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437
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