Can You Be a Positive Thinker?

In my anger management classes I tell my students "your thoughts have everything to do with your anger." When we attempt to identify thoughts that occurred before and during an anger aroused situation, we find this to be a challenge. I am often told, "I wasn't thinking." On the contrary, there is constant chatter going on in your head all day and especially before and during a situation that escalates into an angry outburst. And, it is important to work on becoming consciously aware of these thoughts in order to alter them and change your thought process from a negative to a positive thinker.

There are two types of thinkers: the optimist who sees things in a positive way and the pessimist who sees things in a negative way. People tend to be one or the other overall, however it is also possible to bounce from one to the other depending on the situation and/or person.

When something bad happens to a person, feelings and reactions to the situation should be expected. These reactions could easily distinguish the pessimist - who thinks negatively about the situation and the optimist - who sees that something good could come out from the experience. The situation and outcome could be the same for everyone but the reaction and the perception of the situation is what distinguishes the positive and negative thinker. This in turn influences our thoughts and feelings related to the situation and our response.

A good example on how difference in thinking could alter the outcome would be the "half empty, half full" scenario. When a pessimist sees the glass and declares "half empty" his perception would suggest that the glass is not useful anymore since half of the water is already gone.

On the other hand, an optimist would declare "half full" and would see different alternatives on using the remaining water. The pessimist would go on complaining about the half empty glass of water while the optimist sees an opportunity and even a challenge on how to use the half full glass of water.

There are several benefits to positive thinking, one of which is the ability to better cope with anger. Anger and negative thinking could always be related. When you always see the negative side of things, you easily get frustrated which could easily transform into anger if you are constantly being hounded by negative thoughts. Managing your anger with a negative outlook in life will never work. It might even do more damage since you will never achieve any positive results.

On the other hand, positive thinking could help you soothe your negative emotions. By thinking positively, you could still see hope even though things could get bad and even worst. Positive thinking could encourage you to do better since things will eventually work on your way as long as you work on it.

Poor management of anger will never lead to something good. But positive thinking is one of the key solutions for proper anger management. Always have a positive outlook in life so you do not end up constantly frustrated and angry.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
855-662-6437

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5 Tips to Be Angry in the Most Positive Way

Everyone has to be angry sometimes. In fact, it is important to be angry when it is needed otherwise things that are not supposed to happen will happen. Being angry that I am talking about here is being angry in a productive and positive way.

When a manager is not happy because let's say the sales team doesn't show a good performance, he needs to show them that he is unhappy and he has a right to be angry. In many cases, anger can be used to show authority. Unfortunately, the ways that most managers use to express their anger are sometimes less productive or even destructive. The question is how can we express our anger and still give positive impact to ourselves and others? How can a manager make the team want to work harder and avoid them feeling depressed or insulted?

Here are five tips according to Anthony Dio Martin, a certified hypnotherapist and a certified master of Neuro Linguistic Program (NLP) that you should remember before you lose your temper.

1 Think about the long-term impact

Many people lose opportunities because they can't control their temper. So before your anger explodes, take a few seconds and think! Make sure your action or words will not give worse impact in the future. You don't want to lose potential customers simply because they ask lots of questions and you're not happy with it. You don't want to lose a friend or receive poor performance assessment from your boss because of your uncontrolled words. So always take a few seconds, breath, control your mind.

2 Don't let your anger ruin your self-esteem

The second thing you should keep in mind is while you're angry you still have to keep your reputation. People may lose their respect in you because of your rage. Be careful with the words you use. Avoid swearing! Don't get yourself used to it. Your words are your behavior, your behavior becomes your habit, your habit becomes your character, and that is how people see you.

3 Don't let your anger harm other's esteem

If you think you can solve a problem by being furious at others, think again. Especially if you only point out people's mistake and make them look bad. Being rude and look down on them will only mirror you back. Things can also become more complicated when the people you are mad at, cannot accept your attitude.

4 Your anger should give positive impact

This is the hard part. When you are not satisfied with your employees' performance you have to show them you aren't happy but still have to motivate them to work harder. Instead of just showing you're furios, saying something like "You guys are the best sales team that I've worked with but I am completely unhappy. You know why? Because this sales report doesn't show your real ability. This is unacceptable. You just let our competitor take our potential customers, you are far better than that!" will be a great wake-up call! At the end you give them confidence and they will feel they owe you and will want to give their best.

5 When you're angry, give solution, not just an expression of your anger.

Sometimes people make mistakes because they don't know what to do or how to do things right. So being furious and not showing the solution will not improve the situation. Instead of just yelling and pointing out the mistakes, give the solution so it won't happen again. Explain in which way this mistake can be avoided and make sure the person who made the mistake understand so that it won't be repeated.

Keep in mind that there isn't any quick path to changing your reaction when deals with a situation. It takes a lot of practice and focus. So next time something wrong happens, take few seconds and think.

If you are looking for a great resource for your daily inspiration and motivation you can visit my blog at http://inspirationalquote-s.com/

Original article