Do I Have To Manage My Anger?

After taking up coaching and practicing compassion for humanity, the anger in me has subsided. Friends commented that I'm lighter without the frown between my eyebrows. They noticed that I enjoy life more now, and I'm more relaxed. Life has been more of flowing now.

Going with the flow does not means that I don't care about what comes, it means I'm looking at it with less judgements and expectations. And I'm taking more responsibility on my life and the outcome.

For someone who has anger issues, there are several causes to it. Probably there are more than one cause. Most likely it's built up over the years.

We built the anger over many years. This comes from past incidents that didn't get resolved. These incidents stayed in us, creating some form of triggers. So whenever similar incidents happen, you get triggered.

These past incidents actually create expectations and judgements. So when expectations are not met, our anger will be triggered. Then we started to form judgements about people or incidents. That is going to create more anger and form more judgements. This becomes a cycle where anger starts to manifest itself from the judgements. It'll come to a point where every little thing trigger you. Did you ever met someone who has comment on anything he/she sees? The red hair lady, the sunglasses boy, the tattooed man etc.

To manage the anger, I started with being aware of the anger. Aware that when I'm angry and how come I'm angry. The feeling is like looking from a third party view, observing me being angry.

When I come from this angle, the anger actually subside. From this angle, I realized it's just a small matter. And most of the time, I realized it was my issue. There is nothing right or wrong with the person or incident. I got angry because of my own stuff, expectation, judgements etc.

I asked myself, "Without these expectations and judgements, will I still be angry?" ABSOLUTELY NO! So there's nothing to be angry about.

I can get triggered by a slow person. The expectation is for the person to be faster. But really fast and slow is subjective. How fast is fast, how slow is slow? I realized I had an interpretation of speed. The moment I see this, slow doesn't trigger me as often. Even if I'm triggered, it subsides very fast. I control and release this anger almost immediately.

The other thing is practicing acceptance. I start to accept the differences and the imperfection of another person. This is a huge realization to me. It creates huge transformation in me. Acceptance comes from compassion. It's the beginning of having compassion for others. To have compassion for others, I begin with having compassion to myself.

With compassion alone, it dissolves so much anger in me. I do not have to go any anger management course, boxing or any kind of similar program for my anger. I swim a lot now, and sing whenever I love it.

I'm aware that the anger is still there, but I'm very conscious when it came, and where it is, so that I don't hold it for long. That's my way to a happier life.

Lee Joe is a coach, trainer and speaker in the area of motivating behaviour, He has been training since 2003, inspired more than 10,000 lives so far. He trains in the modules like team development, presentation skills and mindset transformation.

His one-to-one coaching has deliver great results for his clients, supporting them in achieving their desired outcome. He helps clients to discover an accelerated way of achieving results. In that process, he gets the clients to see who they are, how they can be happy in life. Visit http://www.coachingwithjoe.com/ to learn how his clients benefitted from his coaching.

Original article

Learning to Manage Your Anger Will Take Commitment

Rome was not built in a day".

This common quote is the building block for anyone who is trying to change a destructive habit or behavior in their life. At the beginning of each new year we vow to live our lives different, to make a change in how we treat ourselves or how we treat other people. It is important to remember that although a new year's resolution can motivate us into action it will take commitment to stay motivated.

Enough is enough.

Those of us who have learned negative ways to handle our emotions especially anger understand the damage we have caused throughout the years. When we survey the our lives we see a destructive path and are often filled with a mix of regret and determination.

In order for us to change our behavior we must be willing to be "in it" for the long haul. Some of us have spent decades behaving badly. In fact the actual structure of our brains have been programmed to act in aggressive and inpatient ways. Aggression is a learn skill an so is anger management.

Many clients who attend anger management classes note they see a difference in themselves often after the first class. They are encouraged by the revelation that change is possible. Unfortunately some clients quit before they can attain real and lasting sustained change.

Anger management is a process.

Learning to manage your anger is a process. There are no quick fixes. Most professionals recommend we take at least a series of ten anger management sessions to begin change. Most clients will need any where between twenty-six sessions and fifty-two sessions to get the change to stick.

In an anger management group you will learn how to manage your stress, adjust your expectations and communicate effectively but the number one determining factor in how much you change is how long you are willing to stay with your anger management program.

Remind yourself.

The fist step is to get started, but please realize that this is just the first step. When you feel your motivation waning remind yourself of why you made the commitment to change. Was is to save a relationship? Was it to keep your job? Was it for a better quality of life?

Create Accountability.

Tell someone about your commitment to change. When you tell others about your plans to change your behavior you create accountability. Let others help you stay motivated by including them in on your goals.

Reward yourself.

Be sure to give yourself credit for hanging in there. After each anger management class give yourself a positive affirmations. " I am changing." I am good person." You may want to treat yourself to a nice lunch or by a new outfit. If no one else acknowledges your effort your should.

Daybreak Counseling Service
Shannon Munford
http://www.daybreakservices.com/
http://twitter.com/angryinla
310-995-1202

Original article

How To Manage Anger - Some Simple Techniques

Knowing how to manage anger is one of the many facets of being a parent. For no reason a child can fly into a fit of rage over something that seems of little importance to us. Anger is a response to a threat and other factors.

Certain chemicals - cortisol and adrenaline - automatically flood the system, the heart pumps faster and the arms and legs especially receive more blood so they can be used as physical defense. Problem is, the blood leaves the brain and angry people, as we have seen so many times, do not think straight. Cave man stuff yes, but a reflex action that isn't properly controlled can end with serious consequences - you only have to look at the prison system to find thousands of men and women who simply can't control their anger.

Knowing how to manage anger, especially in oneself, involves recognizing the onset of anger. Some people count to ten, some close their eyes, and some hold their breath. In other situations the angry person will drum their fingers, clam up, burst out crying or become hysterical or, at worst, lashes out and hits another person.

Aggressive acts do not relieve aggression, such as punching a wall, or a person. What does relieve the pressure is breathing. Some people go for a walk and this is how to manage anger - get away from the situation and take some exercise. Once your circulation is back to normal, you will start thinking straight. Yoga can be a great way to manage anger as it involves controlled breathing and meditation.

If you have a male child that becomes angry, anger in males is sometimes triggered by sadness, frustration or different reactions to certain situations. Where a woman might cry, a man could get angry - it's just a way to cover sadness - he can't help it, it's his hormones.

Children often get angry when they can't do something, if you can show him how to do it, or explain why he can't do it, or distract him completely, that's good. It's called defusing the situation. Unfortunately some of the angriest children and young adults have little or no guidance from parents, and consequently get into trouble because they can't control their anger.

If you feel that you want to know how to manage anger better, perhaps it is affecting your relationship, yoga classes may be able to help, or there are other places to go for assistance. It is something you can do yourself, and there are a number of self-help books on the subject.

If you only occasionally get angry, it is a necessary response to certain things. If your kid crashed your new car - you may get angry, it's probably justified, but most parents know just how far to take that anger before taking other action. They certainly don't start beating their children mercilessly. Children emulate what their parents do and violent and abusive parents do beget violent and abusive adults. The parent was the role model after all, and the child once grown, remembers that and has become programmed to act in the same manner. It is a good idea to learn how to manage anger at an early age and not express anger in front of children unless it is appropriate - like the crashed car.

To learn more about how to manage anger, as well as anger management for children, be sure to visit our website at AngerManagementForChildrenz.com.

Original article