Conflict Management: Understanding Anger and the Brain

Conflict in the workplace is an ever-growing issue and more and more of my clients are requesting programs on Managing Angry People, Angry Patients, Angry Guests, etc. The one question I'm asked most often after one of these presentations is, "Is it possible that when I'm really angry, my brain just takes over? Because there are times I don't feel like I can control my own anger."

The answer is yes - the brain can be hijacked. Emotions can take over sensibility when we become really angry or someone triggers one of our "hot buttons."

The cerebral cortex is the thinking part of the brain where logic and judgment reside. The emotional center of the brain is the limbic system which is more primitive than the cerebral cortex.

So where do you think anger resides in the brain? Yes, you got it. When anger is being experienced or expressed, it's primarily coming from the limbic center of the brain.

Now let me introduce you to the amygdala, which is part of the limbic system. The amygdala is like a warehouse of emotional memories and acts like the fire alarm for our brain. The amygdala can only react based on previously stored patterns.

When information enters into our brains, the thalamus acts like a traffic cop who keeps the signals moving. In a normal situation the thalamus directs the signal to the cerebral cortex for processing in a logical manner. If the incoming info triggers a potential threat or an emotional charge, the amygdala can override the cortex and BOOM - you have an "amygdala hijacking."

During an amygdala hijack, a flood of hormones and peptides are released that cause a physical or emotional reaction. A surge of energy follows that prepares the person for the "Fight or Flight Response," also called the "Fight, Flight or Freeze Response." This hyper arousal or acute stress response was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon. The amygdala goes into action with no cognitive thought such as evaluating, judging or thinking; which means that there is no regard for consequence.

Now that you know what an amygdala hijack looks like within the brain, here's what it looks like on the outside:

The person is usually out of control and will say and do things they later regret.

This state lasts an average 20 minutes.

Although the adrenaline clears the body fairly quickly, longer lasting hormones and their impact can last several hours or even a couple of days.

How to deal with someone experiencing Amygdala Hijacking:

During the time of an amygdala hijack, avoid any attempts to resolve a situation or discuss a solution. There's little or no ability to rely on intelligence or reasoning. It is best to allow the person to vent and wait until their thoughts move from the emotional area to the thinking area of the brain.

What can I do if it I am the victim of Amygdala Hijacking?

After the hijack it is important to spend time to recognize and identify what your triggers are. I have an exercise where I have my workshop participants identify 2-3 of their responses to anger. When we go around the room and share, attendees realize just how similar or completely different people react to anger. By knowing what triggers our "hot buttons' we create an emotional awareness that allows us to consciously react differently. This may take a little time but it can be done.

Anger can escalate quickly, even when we think we are de-escalating the situation. By understanding the different responses to anger, we can prevent an emotional tug of war Self-awareness is the key to managing our own anger and is also the key to de-escalating anger in others.

How this knowledge helps keep you and others safe in the workplace

Whether it is a co-workers involved in a personality conflict, an angry boss berating an employee, co-workers who are under pressure to complete deadlines, or an angry client, customer, or patient, most of us have never been taught how to de-escalate another angry person.

By understanding how the brain sometimes acts like a bully, by being aware of what triggers our hot buttons and using de-escalation techniques most "amygdala hijackings" can be resolved without escalated violence.

Carol Fredrickson is the CEO and Founder of Violence Free. Clients rely on her skills and expertise to prevent 6 and 7 figure lawsuits and avert workplace violence. Over 100,000 people have benefited from Carol's powerful messages. Visit http://www.violence-free.com/ for Carol's most requested topics that may be a fit for your next meeting. Reach Carol at carol@violence-free.com or 623-242-8797.

Original article

Anger Management - Understanding How Individual Psychotherapy Can Help You

Most people experience anger, an important human emotion, at particular times and in varied situations. Generally, it is a commonly experienced emotion and does not create problems for the individual when he or she is trying to relate to others. The individual controls the expression of emotions such as anger, rage and even irritation. However, most people do not realize that they are able to control their anger, and do not know that they can learn to develop better ways to express anger rather than behaving in a manner that hurts their relations with others.

Many times people need help to learn better techniques to manage their anger. Often they will seek the help of an individual psychotherapist. In my experience, people ask several common questions about using an individual psychotherapist for anger management. I hope that the answers to these questions will allow to you make better use of your anger management psychotherapy session, and to improve your understanding of the psychotherapeutic approach to anger management.

Why use an individual psychotherapist in the first place?

A trained professional individual psychotherapist helps people to develop better strategies to control the expression of angry emotions. The result is that people learn better management and more appropriate expression of these emotions. An individual psychotherapist provides an unbiased and emotionally supportive environment in which to learn these anger management techniques. Family members and friends are often emotionally involved which complicates effective treatment of anger management problems, and they do not have the training to understand the psychology of anger management problems.

What is the first step in learning anger management techniques with an individual psychotherapist?

My first approach when working with a person who has anger management problems is to first give them an opportunity to tell then why they are angry. Once they have related the details of the situation that generates the angry feelings, I then give them validation that the situation is a legitimate reason to feel angry.

Why do I feel so angry and out of control in certain situations?

I can help people realize that they are not just angry about the specific present situation. Often, a situation in the present can bring up repressed angry feelings in the past that lie in the subconscious mind. These feelings are generated in response to unrelated frustrations and disappointments that occurred earlier in life, and rise to the surface when people encounter a new situation that makes them angry. I help people understand that these past feelings contribute to their present angry emotions.

How does what I tell myself internally affect how I manage my anger?

The next goal in my psychotherapeutic approach is to show the person that there is internal self-talk arising from the situation that is generating the angry feelings. For example, someone may say to him or herself "I can't believe these people are treating me so badly!" I then can teach that person to replace that limiting negative thought with a more positive message such as "because this individual has treated me unfairly, that does not mean I have to tell myself I am a bad person."

How should I view people who treat me badly?

My approach allows people to understand that they have control over how they feel about themselves despite being treated badly by another person. I can help people understand that because a significant person in their lives, may, at times, treat them in an insensitive manner which feels hurtful, that does not indicate that person is not a good person.

My goal is to help people realize that improved anger management helps them withstand the frustrations of life, and not sabotage what works positively for them. In my San Francisco psychotherapy practice, I can treat people with anger management problems by providing an emotionally supportive and unbiased environment for them to learn specific techniques to manage their anger.

Patricia H. Hecht, MFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over twenty years of experience treating individuals, families, and couples, she provides unbiased help and support to overcome anger management problems. To learn more about her and schedule an appointment, visit the website for her San Francisco Psychotherapy practice.

Copyright Patricia H. Hecht, MFT - All rights reserved.

Original article